Some Type of Love
by Argent-09
Summary: The last thing Zariah Carmine seek was love. The only thing she was focused on was being a wrestler; as she longed to be since she was 10. She was driven by her aspiration to succeed like her cousin, but will a couple of setbacks end her career before it even starts?
1. Prologue

All these while, I'd never thought I'd ever be in this current circumstances. The last thing I remembered was being trained by my cousin, Bryan Danielson – better known as Daniel Bryan.

A lot has happened since then.

Unfortunately, not only had I become an official WWE diva but a lot more obstacles had rolled into my life. There never is a time whereby I would be happy for at least a month. Within weeks or days, anything that could cherish me would also be the reason to bring me down into pieces.

I've learned about independence in life but I have yet to teach myself to not take things for granted, or to put my past to rest. Nothing that comes in so easily can be kept for long and I have to learn it the hard way.

In a snap of fingers, I entered the main roster, adapted to the new on-the-road with adults environment, learn how to let go of some friends, made a couple of new friends, realized that sometimes not everything goes as planned, being offered a role in Total Divas, experienced a traumatic moment whereby I almost lose my closest – _and only_ – family, become an aunt to a niece, bravely going to an audition for MTV's Teen Wolf series, be kissed by someone's boyfriend, rejected his intimate affection, learn to keep my family as close to my heart as possible, realized when one door closes some others will open, discipline and passion will bring me as far as I'm willing to go, taking chances although it's the unlikely ones, fell in love with a co-star which is another British lad, keeping up a low-key relationship with him, accepted his proposal after a 2-year relationship then broke his heart at my own accord and ultimately, I've learnt to come clean of my feelings towards my beloved best friend, Colby Lopez.

Life is good for Zariah Carmine, _I think_.


	2. Stop and Stare

**A/N: Hey guys! So this is a new story of mine which I've worked on a _looong_ time ago but I only decided to release it now. No idea why but I really hope you guys enjoy this one.**

 **Let me know what you think, R &R!**

 **And this chapter is inspired by One Republic's Stop and Stare; solely from Zariah's perspective.**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _12_ _th_ _August 2012, Sunday – Phoenix, Arizona_

It's almost evening and I'm still lounging by the side of the pool of Shaé's home. I've been here since noon – in my loose-knit sweater and pair of leggings, watching my nephew Stefan play in the water. As always, he was happy to have me here on my off day from work. Although on my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about anything else but work.

Don't get me wrong, I _love_ my job.

But it has been 6 months I've been working on the road as well as tapings, as an official. Legitimately as the 2nd female wrestler to work as a referee. Hell, I don't even think the WWE universe sees me as anything more than an eye candy. Since I débuted on live television on the 27th February 2012 of Raw, I have been causing controversies by being biased in counting pinfalls and determining submissions or disqualifications.

I may be a fan favorite and I have gotten favorable reviews and remarks by the management but this isn't what I signed up for a long haul. When I was informed of the good news of being brought up to the main roster, I was ecstatic. Never have I been so grateful to step out from developmental. For 3 years, I spent my days and nights, training to be the best and outwork everyone else there. It was mainly my personal aim, to make up for my lack of experience in independent wrestling.

While I've been exposed to it since young, thanks to my cousin, I wasn't part of the scene. I was an audience, just observing and being inspired by a couple of wrestlers I've seen over the years.

Thanks to Bryan that I made it to WWE in the first place, somewhere that I'd thought to be a long shot to get to.

Although as of late, I have been thinking a lot. I'm taking a step back to re-evaluate my future in the company especially since news broke that Kharma was released by the company. I was brought up to the main roster because of her. She was my potential opponent to make my mark as an official female wrestler by the WWE universe... but not anymore. With her released, God knows where I'll be heading from here onwards.

* * *

"I thought you'd never want to come in."

Shaé teased as she pours a drink for everyone at the table. Reed places 4-year old Stefan on the seat next to him, as I settle to sit by Shaé's side. I remain silent, trying to cut on the things to think about. I finally get an off day which I get to spend with my family.

Instead of spending so much time thinking about work, I should at least try to enjoy being here. Sitting at the same table with the happy family that lacks nothing. Honestly, this is my safe haven. I have my older sister, the one to care for me since young and have been nothing but supportive of me. Reed, her husband that makes Shaé happiest than anyone ever could. And then there's Stefan. _My baby Stefan_ , that I have loved since Shaé told me of her pregnancy – I was only 17 back then. All I had was a year to watch my nephew grow every single day before I left to Orlando, Florida.

Like I said, WWE have taken so much of my time that I should cherish any moment I get to be with my loved ones. Especially at nearer months to come, since Shaé is due to have a baby girl later in November. _Fingers crossed_ , I get to be next to her when she's holding her 2nd child for the first time.

Shaé and I, we have no one else but each other. We are the only ones to live up the family name, Carmine – since our parents are no longer with us. That's why I'd do anything – _everything_ – I could to make her happy, _make us happy_.

"You're unusually silent." Reed pointed out, abruptly cutting my thoughts. "Anything wrong Ria?"

"Nothing… It's nothing much."

I replied lukewarmly, before taking my first bite of the salmon. My eyes remain fixed at Stefan, playing with his mash potatoes – unaware that I have my eyes on him.

"Honey, come on, tell us about it." Shaé urged. "Or is this about a guy?"

"It's _not_ about a guy."

To be frank, there never was a guy for the past 3 years. I dedicated all the time I have to perfect my craft in the ring while outside, I work on improving my regime. Being in developmental was merely the beginning and it took me quite some time to get used to the new lifestyle. Getting out of bed, heading to the ring to practice and then there's also working out to maintain my physique and fitness. It's a basic routine I live until I get to the main roster.

Most days, I live my life on the road. Visiting states that I didn't know existed before, I have to learn my ways with the help of an old friend, AJ besides Bryan and the twins. While they have been helpful, giving me tips to live my life on the road, it still took me 2 months to familiarize and get my body set for the lifestyle.

"Is this about work?" Reed's spot-on guess earns a nod from me. "Share with us, please."

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore… I have a feeling that I'm never going anywhere besides being an official, now that my storyline is nixed."

There was a moment of silence until Stefan make noises, before feeding himself the mash potatoes. After noticing how the couple are lost for words, I look over at their child instead. Soon enough, he's going to have sibling. Just as Shaé does, when she was 10 years old.

"Ria, you have been patient for 3 years. I'm sure you could wait a little longer till they have a chat with you."

"But that's it Shaé, I never know when it's going to happen. I've been there for 6 months and achieve nothing. It's different from how it works in FCW, alright? I haven't even make an in-ring début and I know it's going to take a lot longer than a year to be considered to be a champion. That is if the management even thinks you have the face, skills and good exposure with the fans. I just don't know anymore alright."

Unwilling to release my anger in front of Stefan, I leave the dinner table. I couldn't stay there any longer or I'd break something, anything at all that I could reach for. Just the mere thought of not being able to be a champion one day, it pushes me to the edge. It's going to break me if my time in WWE were to be over before I could even compete in the main roster.

I didn't work all day and night just so I could be kick to the curb because of a nixed storyline. Not that I'm blaming Kharma at all for not making her return to WWE. Instead I'm mad at the management, who overlooks the hard work I've put to be the face of the women's division someday. _Not divas_ , but women – as I'd rather be referred to.

At this point, with anger running through my veins, I'm not even sure why I'm sticking with the company.

* * *

In the middle of my bedtime workout, Reed walks into my room once I let him in. I continue with my crunches as he stands by the side of my bed, silently. As I'm working to complete 150 crunches, I wait for Reed to say something. _At least state his purpose of being here_ , I keep the thought to myself.

"As usual, Shaé is worried and so am I." He started, then making himself comfortable sitting at the side of my bed. "Your sister has already given her advice; which I encourage you to think through... before making any impulsive decisions."

At the mention of ' _impulsive_ ', my eyes darted to him immediately. Even the man knows me well enough, considering how he have seen me grow since I was 14. Reed have been like a family to me after dating Shaé for a month. The man is definitely perceptive, quick to notice how I still do have my impulsive instincts – depending on my emotions.

"Listen, in my opinion, I think that you should think of a back-up plan. Instead of worrying of the unknown, at least you are doing yourself a favor of having something to do after your run with the company. That could at least ease your mind, financial wise."

After nearly 3 minutes, I get up from the floor – done with my bedtime workout. Wiping away the bead of sweat trickling down my forehead, I try catching my breath first before saying a word. I stand close by to Reed, who seems to be waiting patiently for my response. He'd probably wants to know what I think of the idea, since he is a radio personality. I've eavesdrop in some of his meetings and discussion with his ex-manager, as they talk about other bookings besides his full-time career with Arizona Sports 98.7FM.

 _He's right though_ , I agree with him in silence.

"So? What do you think?"

"I'll think about it."

For now, I'm drained. My mind has been running around the idea of being released by WWE just as Kharma was a month ago. Today is not the first time this thought have been bothering me. I have been haunted by it for days, close to a month even. I just feel like I need a break from beating myself up for not being good enough and believing that I'm not up to par as divas like the twins or even Barbie – also known as Kelly Kelly.

"Sleep on it then. I don't need to hear about it too soon."

Reed told me, before walking out. I'm left standing in the middle of the room, wanting nothing more than to have a goodnight sleep. It's all that I'm counting on right now to get my head off work and the negativity.

* * *

 _15_ _th_ _August 2012, Wednesday – Austin, Texas_

As advised by Reed, I'm thinking through of what he said. Although this time, I'd like to hear someone else's point of view about venturing elsewhere, outside of WWE. She's a perfect person for me to talk to. I trust her and she have been with the company for 6 years now… Including her time in developmental. That's where we first met too, and form a friendship. We bond over how hard we worked back in FCW days and how Vic have been nothing but welcoming to me when I first arrived.

So here I am, sitting in a restaurant having lunch with my best friend, Victoria – also known as Alicia Fox, since it has been a while since we spend time together.

"I'm surprised you choose to meet me instead of your _baby_ Stefan today."

Vic joked, knowing fully well of my love for my nephew. She was with me when I got the good news on the 1st of February, 4 years ago. It wasn't long after that she was brought up to the main roster but we kept in touch. I usually FaceTime whenever I could from FCW or when Stefan was with me, I'd send her a picture or two.

"Hey, a girl can choose to be with her best friend on her day off too okay."

"Well, I'm honored to be here then."

I'm unusually hesitant to mention about the matter I have in mind though. Don't know why, suddenly, I'm fearful that Vic would judge me for thinking about this when I've only been with WWE for 3 years. Vic have stuck with the company for 6 years and I have never heard of her wanting to venture out. Instead she takes whatever she gets from the company, despite the complaints she has over the years.

"Vic?" She looks up from her menu for a quick second to nod at me. "Have you ever thought of expanding yourself besides WWE?"

She took a while to process the question. Vic remain silent for nearly a minute, before shrugging.

"You mean like the twins?" She questioned me back, finally realizing that it is the similar case.

"Yeah, just like them… Apparently."

 _How could I had not realized it?_ It's only when Vic mentioned about the twins then I notice of how little contrast there is between my feeling and theirs towards our career. However, the only difference would be the time it took for them to endure being underused and overlooked by the company. For me, I can't take the crap for too long.

I need reassurance. I need to know that my time and effort in FCW wouldn't go down the drain and I'd get somewhere with all the hard word I've put in. I'm adamant in changing my gimmick of being an official any longer or till I'm released by the company.

"Yeah, of course." She simply replied, as she informs the waiter her orders. "Why wouldn't I want to? I'm not planning to make a living through wrestling till I'm 40."

 _Says the 26-year-old_ , whom has a valid point. Unlike male wrestlers, the female do have plans to settle down and put our bodies to rest – especially ones who intend to have children. Until that time comes for me though, I have a long list of goals to achieve before I retire from this profession.

"True… But have you tried to get out there though?"

"My manager is working on it; we've had a couple of discussions about this too. Why'd you ask?"

Of course, Vic would want to know. It seems odd enough that I'm questioning her about her career on our off day. This is when we don't even have to worry about the day we get back to another venue for the live event. As mentioned before I _love_ my job – but not _that_ much.

"I've been thinking about it lately… You know, finding something else to do while waiting for them to…"

I can't even finish my sentence. All I want right now is to be utilize properly by the company such as getting me into the ring as a wrestler and no longer an official. However, I also want to be seen as someone who is a credible opponent; after so long of being an eye candy to the WWE universe.

Clearly, the management wants the same thing as well. But it's the creative team who lacks of creativity to come up with something of their – _and mine_ – liking. Both Vince McMahon and Paul – also known as Triple H – sees me as the face of the women's division and I appreciate their vision a lot. Nonetheless, I still do hope they are thoughtful enough to let me venture elsewhere and keep me off WWE until they have a spot for me to fill in the women's division.

"That's surprising… Coming from you." Vic genuinely looks surprised. "I've never heard any complaints so far."

"Yes but I'm not planning to make a living by working as a ref till I'm 40 either."

"Touché."

I take a sip of my apple juice, as we both wait for our meals to arrive. We have all day to talk about this though so I don't feel the rush of having to say anything stupid without thinking. Anything that comes out from my mouth should be rational and not be based on my emotions, I remind myself.

"So, what? Modelling?" I shot down the idea instantly. "Okay, geez, chill. How about singing?"

"I can't believe you just asked me that."

Vic then laughed, revealing immediately how the question was meant as a joke. No one have never heard me sing, at least not outside the car. Consider my singing is only meant for long car rides from city to city, when I'm half awake and desperately bored to death.

"You're a decent singer, of course that should be one of your choices."

"What?" I'm aghast now. "You've got to be kidding me Victoria. I can't sing for my own life, so quit joking."

"Alright, suit yourself. You look good, yet you dislike photoshoots. You can sing but that's not something you'd go for either? What exactly do you want to do?"

 _I don't know_. As of now, I'm still questioning of the potential profession that I could go for… Hence why I'm having this chat with Vic. I thought it'd make it easier for me to realize what I really want, but instead, it's the otherwise.

I'm even more clueless on what I could do than I was before.

* * *

 _15_ _th_ _August 2012, Wednesday – Long Beach, California_

As soon as I'm off the plane and on my way home from the LAX, I check my phone from my 3-hour flight from Austin, Texas. A couple of text messages which I checked before noticing Jane Geddes' number. _She's the Vice President of Talent Relations_ … There must be something up if she were to call me today, when she could have met me yesterday on Smackdown's taping. She also left a message for me to contact her as soon as I could which I'm surely going to do, right now.

Calling from the missed call, I'm left to wait impatiently till she answers the call. It's 45-minute journey back home, I can't remain calm and collected for that long until I know the intention behind her call. _Instead of Carrano, why her?_ There must be something _huge_ going on that I'm going to find out soon enough… Although at the back of my mind, I know it don't necessarily mean the _huge_ thing is anything good for me.

"Hi, Jane. It's Zariah. I'm sorry, I just got off the plane."

I reasoned after apologizing to her. Deep down however, I'm reminding myself after each second to breathe in and out… I need to relax and wait for _it_. Whatever _it_ is, I always have a choice. As Vic said earlier, I have a lot more choices besides singing – although it is _for sure_ isn't singing.

As Jane continue explaining how the company have a lot of faith in me and intend to invest all the time they need to come up with the best gimmick there is for me, I remain silent. At the backseat of the cab, I fidget around – tapping my fingers to my knees and biting on my bottom lip.

 _Can she just to the point already?_

"The main role on Total Divas?"


	3. It's Not Right for You

**A/N:** **So the inspiration behind this chapter is The Script's It's Not Right for You. Great song, really puts me in the mood and making it easier to write this chapter.**

 **Hope you guys love this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _16_ _th_ _August 2012, Thursday – Long Beach, California_

"So, what do you think?"

Here I am, still trying to process the offer that Jane conveyed to me yesterday evening. It was almost too unreal for me… starring in a reality show… _The face of a reality show_. I am bothered by the fact that I'm not being given enough attention but to expose my life at a global platform? I'm not too keen about the idea either. Hence why I'm having a three-way video call with Shaé on Skype while Bryan is on FaceTime.

It took me 10 minutes to explain the entire situation. They didn't interrupt me once but I have been babbling from the start, still taken aback. I didn't even get enough sleep last night. All I did was tossing and turning before dozing off at nearly 4 in the morning. Then waking back up at 7am to go for a run but it's still bugging me.

 _The idea of being a reality star bugs me._

"Well… That's another career option you could go for." Shaé begin, while Bryan seems to ponder about it still.

"Shaé, it's reality TV. I need to think more than just to see it as an option I could go for right now."

I might have sounded desperate but that's exactly how I'm feeling. _Reality TV is different_ … All I could think of is Kim Kardashian and her family who earns money from it by letting people into their lives. Frankly, I've watched an episode of KUWTK and I'm not a fan of it. I don't even think it's of any use to my life. It doesn't teach me any sort of life lesson nor do I live such lives of being hunted down by paparazzi 24/7.

Plus, I'm also thinking of the people I'm surrounded with. Bryan, Shaé especially, my best friends Vic and AJ or even Colby whom I've not met for quite some time. Their lives are going to be on air too, if they were to interact with me.

"Bryan, I need your thoughts too please…" It is official, I am pleading out of desperation.

"You don't seem too eager about it."

 _That's because, I'm not…_ The fact that this came at me out of nowhere, it's leading me to believe that if I were to turn this idea down; _they're going to let me go_. That's going to mean one thing that I'm not going to get over so easily. The time I've spent in developmental, those 3 years, _it can't go to waste_.

"Honey, if it's already making you uneasy, it's okay to say no. But sometimes, it's also good to take a step forward into something that you're not used to. That's how you learn something, and what do you have to lose?"

Shaé does have a point in that though. Well, when I heard from WWE the first time, I was excited. Over the moon but I also grew anxious closer to the date when I have to leave for Orlando, Florida. _Maybe this is a reverse psychology kind of thing?_ It just works in contrast of what happened before but it's the same thing; with a different experience that I'm going for.

"What does she have to lose? Privacy, that's one. More of her time alone, space at home when she could relax with you and your family. It's all going to be shown to the world."

 _And then Bryan has another good point – or points actually_ , I sigh. Now, I'm torn. It's even worse than before. Initially, I was standing on a tight rope, still unsure of the right way to go. At this second though, I'd rather jump down without having to make a decision. _If only it was that simple…_

Bryan and Shaé then go on to argue verbally on my behalf as I remain silent. I listen to them debating, weighing both the pros and cons for me. While they are using the tone that I'm not fond of, I'm willing to listen longer to this as it helps. A minute of their dispute alone is giving me a list of things to consider and what I should expect later on in the future if this reality TV were to be part of my life for more than a year.

"RIA!"

Both of them yelled at the same time, cutting short my train of thoughts. My eyes gaze from Shaé to Bryan, wordlessly. I'm left stuttering as the two have battled it out verbally on the right choice for me.

"So?" Shaé seeks my opinion, and yet I have got nothing – _yet_.

"You know what, Shaé is right."

"What?"

Both Shaé and I questioned, baffled by Bryan's statement. He literally just had a 5-minute debate with my sister about how reality TV is not an apt decision for me. Then just a second ago, he declared that Shaé is _right_. This is getting far too confusing than it should be.

"Ria, I know you have been unhappy with your position for some time. Maybe this will liven you up, you know. Give you a rise in the company that you deserve. And you'll finally have your chance to show the world what you're made of. All the hard work you've put in since you joined the company."

If there's anyone who'd know how I truly feel about being underused, it's Bryan. He's the man that have been fired twice by the company. Yet when he came back, it took him a while before he captured those titles he always dreams of getting. At the very least, he did it.

Both of us have seen each other grow so much from the beginning… From the moment when I was eager to follow him to train at the gym. Then, I was quite relentless to see him perform at shows too but he only allowed me to attend it once I turned 16… _Not even a couple of days before my birthday._

But then Bryan did the unthinkable. On my 16th birthday, he took me to Chicago Ridge, Illinois to my first ROH event and watched him defeated Lance Storm with my very own eyes. Even though my ears heard something else before the match even starts, which made me realized why he didn't allow me to attend the show before. I could still hear the chant in my head…

 _You're gonna get your fucking head kicked in!_

"Ria, just think about it okay?"

I nodded to Shaé before ending both calls. _Maybe this isn't something I could simply sleep on…_ Recalling back of Colby's suggestion of creating social media accounts, I'm starting to think now is the right time to take his idea. He did it for the sake of the fans and to know more of people think of his work, I don't see why I shouldn't do the same.

It's only going to help me in building a fan base. As Bryan mentioned just now, it's time people know of the hard work I've put into this. This which isn't my childhood dream but seeing Bryan performing every night inspires me. He ignites the passion that I never knew I had for wrestling and now that it started, I don't want it the flame to die down – _ever_.

Grabbing my laptop and now laying on my bed, I begin to create a Twitter account. _And first order of business, what should my username be…_

* * *

 _20_ _th_ _August 2012, Monday – Fresno, California_

 _If there is nothing good for you to be in it, then why dwell on it so much?_

AJ's words continue running through my mind. We met earlier today and talked about Total Divas. I needed someone else's opinion, a different kind of person that I could relate to. I've discussed this with both Shaé and Bryan yet I'm still standing on a tight rope. Then there was Twitter… I found out the good and _bad_ remarks that people have to say about me.

Well, there are some comments made of Za-ree-ah, but I focused mostly on Za-rye-ah. The one that appears on television and playing a character. A character that have an uncertain future in the company, to be honest. I sigh, recalling as to how majority enjoyed what I've been doing. Causing controversy in most matches I've officiate. But some, they do think alike as I do.

 _How much longer am I going to be an official instead of a female wrestler in the roster?_

Upon hearing the news from me about Total Divas, Vic was enthusiastic. Even so, the word is an understatement as to how elated she was of the opportunity I have. I know that she loves me and that she'd want me to succeed in WWE. Hence why, she insisted for me to consider it strongly. Frankly, Vic was more than eager to shift my attention to the benefits which overlap with my personality.

AJ said it best though, in comparison to Vic. After hearing much of the pros from Vic, I went to AJ. Her perspective differs, advising me on the image I want to portray to the WWE universe. This time, it's much in-depth. It's not merely about Zariah being on reality TV putting her live in everyone's TV screen but my image. _What would it seem like to everyone if I were to show them my life as Za-ree-ah playing Za-rye-ah on TV?_

"You? Reality TV? TOTAL DIVAS?"

Colby laughed loudly at the other end of the line. I rolled my eyes at how much help he's offering me at this second, when my mind is absolutely ruffled. He was the last resort but also one of my bestest friends. I do have faith that Colby Lopez – also known as Seth Rollins in NXT – is able to give me some shed of light that I truly need to come up with a decision.

"Come on C, I really need your honest opinion. Gimme it…"

I pleaded, taking a sip of my smoothie as I sat on the hotel bed. Vic is out, so I'll be all alone in the room up till midnight _at least_. As much as I treasure everyone's point of view, it still hasn't helped me to settle on either. I really need someone to strongly agree or disagree with one, then I'd be stirred to finally make a decision.

"Well, I don't know about you Z but you're not a reality star material. You don't even have Twitter up till days ago. Being a reality star is one tough job, just saying. You gotta interact with the fans and create drama unnecessarily… It's just a crazy mess, for me – personally."

 _He's honest_. That's one thing I undeniably love about Colby. Besides that, the man has got skills in the ring and outside. He's mad in love with this business and just improving his fitness. Back in FCW, I would eagerly approach him to ask about my matches – besides Dusty and the rest of the trainers. His judgements matter to me and I respect him; besides the FCW staff who helped to train me back then. Colby have always been my go-to guy in FCW for guidance, especially since Bryan left for the inaugural NXT.

 _Could he be right about this too though?_

"I'm really not fit for this?" I paused, thinking through of what he said. "Why would they even pick me then…"

"Hey Z, hey… I'm just saying, they might think this is good for you. But why don't you decide yourself if this is what you want and if it's something good for you too. Yeah, it can give you more exposure to the fans but privacy… That's one thing you have to sacrifice and that is one _huge_ sacrifice, in my opinion."

 _It's true_. Once it's released, I can do nothing to take it back – _none of it_. Even in 20 years' time, Stefan and Raé – _or my children even_ , will get to see my life being exposed to the world. Colby is right though about this one thing… Vic also mentioned how this could give me a boost of star power that I need to be in the ranks of the rest of the WWE divas.

"So what's the final call Z? Are you going to humor me with your life on screen or stick with being good at what you're doing in the company right now?"

I remain silent, slightly sure of what I want right now. Compared to the others, Colby gave me more than what I asked for. _The laughter and honesty and teasing_ … Which helped by a lot leaving me with only thing to do.

 _Make a decision_.


	4. Surprise Yourself

**A/N:** **So the inspiration behind this chapter is** **Jack Garratt's Surprise Yourself.** **Hope you guys love this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _03_ _rd_ _September 2012, Monday – Chicago, Illinois_

I'm shaking alright, as I stand at the front door of the Executive Vice President of Talent, Paul Levesque – also known better as Triple H. This is by far the most anxious I've ever been all my life… Even when I first step foot into the arena for the first time, it wasn't this nerve-racking. Last week, I've contacted Mark Carrano about this meeting. I wanted to see him _only_ about my status in the company; but I was informed earlier today that Paul will be joining the meeting as well.

What's worst was that, Carrano ended the call by saying, _it's no big deal_ ; when it is a big deal. _A very very very big one indeed Carrano_ , I sigh aloud.

I continue pacing back and forth, waiting for my own guts to eventually knock on the door. I arrived 2 hours earlier to the arena just for this… _All alone, dressed averagely in t-shirt and jeans, just trying to be chill but failing miserably._ Looking at the bright side, at least it's only my heart that's almost thumping out of my chest. I'm not sweating much, _or at all_ , for someone as anxious as the same 15-year-old girl opening up the letter from Stanford University to find out if she's accepted into the prestigious institution or not.

That was 7 years ago though, I'm 22 now. I'm an adult, _technically_. Checking my watch again, I'm a couple of minutes away before the promised meeting time. _I have to do this_ , I tell myself and take deep breaths to calm my nerves. After one last inhalation, I knocked on the door – unfalteringly.

"Come in."

I heard Paul's response and I take a gulp of my own saliva. _I can do this_ ; I remind myself again as I grip tightly on the doorknob. Finding the courage to turn it, I then walk into the room in my pair of combat boots. The last time I've ever had this meeting with Paul was on my very first night as part of the WWE roster. That went well, now though… I'm not so sure.

We exchange greetings and I shake his hand before taking a seat across of him. Carrano sat next to Paul in the small office, updating him in detailed of my concerns. I listen in closely, making sure he didn't put any words in my mouth. I need the matter to be told as it is and in an accurate explanation as what I've told Carrano, over the phone.

"I see…" Paul begin, once Carrano is done. "You have been working as an official for 6 months. Is it the pay that you're worried about?"

"No, that's not my main concern. Frankly, I'd want to be utilize accordingly based on what I have been trained for in FCW. I was initially promised a storyline with one of a widely recognized female wrestler, and now that she's not here, I'm really trying to figure out when can I compete as a wrestler, how will my transition be and there's a lot more that's on my mind actually."

I clear the doubts regarding the pay. While the pay has been sufficient, it's about my own expectations and what I seek from my career. To be an official during my entire time in this company is a definite _no_ for me. I've trained harder than anyone else right from the get-go, I couldn't simply be used as an official right here. I need every ounce of my hard work to pay off someday and I need to be certain of that.

"So what exactly are you trying to get from this meeting?" Paul questioned, calmly.

"I'm seeking a renegotiation of contract."

I noticed how Carrano's expression changed, just as swift as Paul's did. In spite of seeing so, I maintain my composure. I'm doing this for myself and to give myself the reassurance I needed. At least I did make an attempt to change my current situation instead of letting it be as it is.

The silence went on for close to a minute. Carrano and Paul sat back, whispering quietly regarding my request. All I heard was soft mumbling as I wait, less anxious than I was before. _I've said it anyway_ ; I don't see the point of being scared now.

"Alright. I'll tell you what," Paul started, which makes me meet his gaze. "For now, you get back to work and do what you're doing. Because it's great work, even though you're unsatisfied with it. I promise you, I'll take care of this and Carrano will get back to you as soon as I've got some news."

Hearing so, I'm a bit relief. I didn't get an immediate response, which meant that they are taking into consideration of my request. I show him a nod, not wanting to say more after blurting my point out loud and proud. Saying my goodbyes to both man, I then walk out of the office feeling a lighter weight on my shoulders. It may have been the longest 15-minute of my life in that room but I'm proud as to how I didn't pass out in there. I'm a 22-year-old handling her own life, without needing a manager to do the talking for me.

For that, I should be proud for doing this – _for myself_.

* * *

"Are you out of your mind?"

I'm on my way to meet Bryan at the car when I met him half-way. _Or better yet, when he came out of nowhere to bawl at my face._ Taken by surprise, my mouth open but nothing comes out. I'm not even sure what Bryan is talking about since I have not seen him for the entire day, till now. I did tell him I'd get to the arena on my own though, and omitted the particular detail about meeting Paul and Carrano regarding my contract with WWE.

"I'm going to need more information Bryan…" I replied, once I've found the right words.

"More information? I should be the one to ask you for it since you've gone behind my back for a meeting about your contract without telling me about it. Are you insane? Are you trying to get yourself out of here?"

"Woah, woah, woah. Stop right there,"

If I didn't know any better, I believe that he's mad because I didn't seek his permission to go forward with this meeting. _His permission_ , I repeat. I'm in shock as to how Bryan thinks that it's vital for me to do everything in my life according to his consent. It may have been so when I was younger; just a 16-year-old who vies to watch her cousin perform – but not anymore.

I've grown since then and I'm very much capable of making more decisions on my own now.

"For starters, I don't need your permission. This is my life, my career and I know who to go to for advice, who to meet when I'm not satisfied with my work and I certainly know when to find my cousin when I need one. Now, I'd rather not be with him if he thinks that he has the right to dictate whatever I do in my life."

With no interest to hear what else Bryan have to say, _or yell at my face;_ I turn back to the arena to find AJ. Luckily, she has yet to leave for the next city when I was on my way out of the locker room. I could drive with her instead; to Moline, Illinois.

Even though it's only a 3-hour ride, I couldn't stand to be anywhere near Bryan right now. He was supposed to be the adult here yet he's being irrational. Walking right up to my face out of nowhere and just broadcasting his unhappiness to me, I don't want to deal with him like that.

Honestly, that's not how I'd want to deal with anything at all. For now, I think it's best to leave Bryan on his own and calm himself down before we'll talk.

* * *

 _08_ _th_ _September 2012, Saturday – Melbourne, Australia_

For 5 days, I've not contacted Bryan at all. Even if I were to see him across the room, I'd walk out right away. Not that I'm trying to be insolent to the man that I grew up with and respect so much but Bryan crossed the line. He doesn't deserve the rights to determine my life as he likes or wishes. I've learnt over the years since I joined the company, if he hadn't noticed. Hence why I didn't seek his input or involvement to be in this matter, whatsoever.

Right now, I'm just hanging around at the catering after a long night out there in the ring. The crowd was hyped, as usual but even their excitement couldn't take my mind off this issue I have with Bryan. As much as I'd hate to be in this situation with my cousin, I don't want to be the one to apologize to him. None of it is my fault and I still want him to know that it's not fine for him to do it – _ever again_.

"You alright there?" Claudio – also known as Antonio Cesaro – questioned as he takes a seat next to me.

"Yeah…" I dragged on, before meeting his stern expression. "Nah…"

I can't lie to him. He's one of the good friends that I've known for nearly 5 years – from ROH. Considering how close he is to Bryan though, I think of him almost like a brother-like figure than a friend to me. He knows me well enough to know when I'm lying, so…

"Why aren't you speaking to Bryan?" He dives straight into the topic. "Seems pretty serious."

He continued before taking a bite of his meal. Claudio had his match earlier on and clearly he has showered too, assuming from the fresh scent. In comparison to me, who's slumping at catering after officiating an intense 10-minute match. Also, I succeeded fleeing away from Bryan which was a tough obstacle; given that it was an empty hallway and he was alone.

"It's kind of serious… Hence, the silent treatment."

I replied, not knowing if I should reveal the real reason behind our argument. There are people around here and the last thing I want is for everyone to know about my personal matters. This is between Bryan and I; and I don't want it to escalate further than it already is at the moment.

Not talking to Bryan for 5 days is quite excruciating. Especially since I don't have anyone close with here besides him, Vic, AJ and Claudio. I can't spend more of my time ranting to AJ or Vic, they also have a life to live. Claudio, he's a friend of mine but also Bryan's. I don't really believe that he could keep whatever I say to himself; particularly if he knows he could make the matter better by being the middle person.

Don't get me wrong, Claudio is a great man. He cares about people and never fails in giving wise advises to those in need. He's such a nice person that I know I can't even blame him for trying to fix my matter with Bryan – _indirectly_. In fact, I'd the one to feel bad if I were to scold him or tell him off for helping.

"Nothing's worth to fight with your cousin and gives him the silent treatment kid, trust me."

"I know that… But it's more than just about my contract okay?" He turns to look at me, in the middle of chewing his food. "Bryan needs to learn to trust me."

This time, Claudio didn't say anything in response. Instead he grabs a napkin next to his plate to wipe his spotless mouth and takes hold of his plate. I could tell that his next move would be to get up from his seat, which only piques my confusion.

"Where are you," My sentence was however cut halfway by him.

"Why don't you tell him that for yourself kid."

Claudio didn't even spare a second for me to say another word before I turn to look over my shoulder. Without Claudio nodding his head to the figure behind me, I'd already figured that Bryan's standing there. _I knew it_ , I thought to myself. Even without trying, the man is helping me to resolve this matter with Bryan earlier than I expected.

"Can we talk?" Bryan requested, his tone softer than the last time he spoke to me. "Somewhere else."

* * *

It took me a while but I manage to soothe my anger towards him. On top of anger, there's also a tinge of disappointment. To know that Bryan have yet to trust me in handling my own agreements and negotiations with other parties; mainly WWE.

 _If he has faith in his girlfriend, why not me – his cousin that he grew up with?_

Now that we're at the parking lot, secluded from anyone from anyone affiliated to WWE, I cross my arms as I stand in front of Bryan. He's the one to lead the way here and I lean back to someone's vehicle. Despite my closed-off body language, I'm ready to hear what he has to say. As his cousin, I know how Bryan can overstep his boundaries without realizing it at times. He only does so out of love and care though. I only hope that this time, he realized on his own as to how letting me make my own decision is what's best for the both of us.

"If you're still mad at me, I totally understand that. I know that I blasted you all of a sudden that night but I also want you to know the reason behind it." He paused. "I was concern, _very_ , concern about your stand here in this company okay."

 _I knew it_ , a little voice in my head say. In reality, I remain quiet with crossed arms. Fixated at Bryan's apologetic expression, I show little emotion as I wait for him to continue on. I need much more explanation for what he barked at me the other night. To be honest, I'm 100% sure that I don't deserve that kind of yelling in public by my cousin. I'm at an age where I can think for myself and be responsible with my own choices.

"Look, I already have Brie out of here. I _really_ don't want you to be next, okay. You're the only closest person I have here and I'm proud of you, no matter what you do. Ria, I just,"

"No. Okay, I'm not proud or happy with whatever I'm doing right now."

I stated clearly to him, though not loud enough for anyone else to hear. Bryan deserves to know as to how unhappy I've been with my position and unlike anyone else, I'm willing to make a move to change it. Just like the twins, I want to do something worthwhile to get my name out there for the world to hear. Then they can watch how competent I am in the ring against the likes of other female wrestlers in the wrestling industry at present.

"Bryan, I didn't approach you because I know you'd stop me from doing this. I know you wouldn't let me do something, anything at all to change my current situation. What I need is some support or words of encouragement to push me and make me believe that I'm good enough to be wrestling in that ring. Because at this point of time, I don't even know anymore. And whatever it is, ten years from now, I want to make sure that I can say that I choose my life and didn't settle for it."

For some time, Bryan stay quiet and so did I. I've said what I wanted to say and Bryan has heard what I've kept deep inside for as long as I could. _My dilemma about being a WWE diva…_ I'm torn between the worlds of being a professional wrestler or a reality TV star in the eyes of the world. It's rightfully the hardest decision for me, even difficult between choosing Stanford and WWE; when I was 18.

"Come here." He pulls me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry for being an overbearing cousin instead of a supporter that you need more than ever."

He then releases his hold on me, placing both hands on my shoulders instead. Bryan look me directly in the eyes, and I noticed how he's holding back the tears. I've never seen him cry face-to-face before and now that this is happening, I'm not so sure what to do. He's on the verge of tears because of me. I'm the reason that Bryan is close to shed tears this time.

"I promise you this, I'll never force you into anything that you're not passionate of. And if you ever need anything, I'll guide you there however I can. I'll never urge for you to do anything from now onwards, okay."

Without saying anything, I nod my head in silence. I have no words to reply to what he swore by… I'm in awe to everything that Bryan just said, to be honest. With a small smile creeping on my face, I'm the one to pull him for a hug this time.

A year ago, I could never imagine Bryan saying any of these things. Instead I could possibly envision myself being the one to look for him and apologized, for the sake of our relationship. I know if it wasn't for Brie, Bryan wouldn't be who he is at this moment. She changed him for the better. While he's still the compassionate person that he is, Bryan is more conscious whether or not his actions are justifiable or not.

This time, I'm sure with Brie's advice, Bryan had calm down to think through what he said to me. While it wasn't wrong for him to care for me, he did cross the line when he tried to stop me from living my own life. I need to make these choices on my own for me to move forward in life. And now, at least I could be relief that Bryan finally comprehended that.


	5. Losing You

**A/N: Reading back... I feel like my story is Total Divas in words :") I'm sorry ya'll but I feel the need to establish how close Zariah is with her sister before we jump into a little _something something_ with Colby/Rollins.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy this sad one, inspired by Aquilo's Losing You!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _22_ _nd_ _September 2012, Saturday – Phoenix, Arizona_

My world completely falls apart.

The moment I answered Reed's call, I could feel my heart sunk. Everything else was blurry and all sounds were cancelled out as I drop down to the concrete ground. I was on my way out of the arena on a typical Friday night. Just happily strolling out with AJ when Reed called me.

 _I didn't know it'd be an awful news about Shaé._

From the parking lot, AJ ran back into the arena to search for Bryan. She tried to calm me down for a minute but failed miserably before resorting to doing so. She left me on my own as I remain on the ground, crying. Letting the tears run down my face and I'm thinking of nothing else but the worse that could happen to my beloved sister. I keep my hand on my heart, as if it'd subside the ache I feel in my chest… _but no_.

I'm left there worrying frantically if I'm going to lose the only family I have left in this world.

Shaé is the sister that I grew up with. She's the one to take care of me on her own since we moved out from aunt Darleen's house. At the age of 21, she's the reason I get to live my life back in California instead of Washington; with aunt Darleen as my guardian. Shaé have given me freedom to be myself and pursue my passion but also to remain grounded all these while. Everything she did and sacrificed was for us, _for me –_ her baby sister.

As soon as Bryan came out, he did what he could to calm me down. Get me a drink, rub my back, stroke my hair and wipe the tears on my face. Assuring AJ that I'd be fine with him, she then left us both at the parking lot. Seeing how wrecked I was, he sat in front of me – seeking to know what happened.

* * *

I recalled, not saying anything to answer Bryan. Instead, I dialed Reed's number. Upon learning of Shaé's critical condition, he was quick to decide following me back to Phoenix. With or without him though, I'd still be on a plane back to Phoenix – _and here we are_. I can't stay on the road knowing that Shaé is laying on the hospital bed, with her life on the line.

 _I can't do that_.

Thankfully, Bryan – who's able to think rationally – informed Carrano and we were granted off from today's live event. With our luggage, we arrived at the hospital only to learn that we're not able to visit Shaé. It seems her condition has worsened, an hour prior to our arrival and it made me broke down again.

Two hours later, I'm better. I'm no longer crying, or say much either but at least, no more tears. In my calmer state too, I've seen my newly born niece. _She's so small_ , I thought to myself as I watch her through the window glass. I don't know her name yet but she's already beautiful despite being born prematurely by 2 months. She'll be beautiful and strong, especially with Shaé as her mother to raise her up.

It's taking all of me to not burst into tears again, just thinking about a life without Shaé. Up till now, there have been no updates about her condition from the doctor or nurses. _It's driving me insane_ , but the sight of Stefan keeps me hinged. I'm the aunt that he looks up to and he needs me to keep myself together, not only for him but for Shaé as well. I need to be the one to tell him and convince him that Shaé, his mother, will be okay.

 _But for all I know is that, I need a miracle to bring Shaé back to all of us_.

"Doctor said that the baby's fine. Doing better, in fact."

Reed approach me to let me know me, while Bryan sits next to me. My cousin hands me a cup of tea, trying to keep me hydrated since I haven't consumed anything since yesterday's dinner. That was 15 hours ago and despite knowing that I'm merely waiting for Shaé to wake – which would take days – on an empty stomach doesn't bother me.

"He also promised to tell us about Shaé." Bryan added, still waiting for me to take the drink from him. "So we could go for a quick bite right now Ria."

Staring at the floor, motionless, I refused Bryan's offer indirectly. I didn't want to leave this seat, right outside of Shaé's ward. I want to stay her till she opens her eyes. I want to be the one she sees as soon as she wakes up from this nightmare… _My nightmare_.

"Bryan's right." Reed chimed in. "You should get something to eat while I keep watch."

"No."

I eventually spoke. If there's anything in this world that I fear most is losing Shaé.

She's _my_ everything, more than she is to Reed.

Shaé is a woman that can be so hurt and stressed out but she will still look at me and smile. As if the financial burden doesn't worry her that much, or that being my guardian was a smooth sailing responsibility, or working in the fashion industry doesn't pressurize her enough. I watch her hide her tears and anger away for the sake of me – _and that's precisely what that keeps me together for Stefan too at this second._

"I don't want to leave and no one can make me leave her. She's the only, _the only one_ that I have left and no matter what happens, I want to be here. With her, for her just like how she has been with me throughout my life."

Nodding to Reed, Bryan waited for him to move along with Stefan. They'd probably be the ones to get food for now as Bryan prepare to talk to me. Whatever it is he have to say though, it can't – _it won't_ – make me change my mind. Time is too precious to be spent doing anything else but to watch over Shaé right now.

"Zariah, I promised that I'll not force you to do anything that you don't want. And this is me keeping my promise."

He paused, gazing at me carefully.

"I just want you to know, to think carefully of what Shaé would say to you if I were to be the one in there. What if I was in an accident and got into a coma for months or even years? Are you going to do the same and let Shaé worry about you all these while? Are you going to let me be the reason—"

Cutting his pep talk short, I embraced Bryan tightly. I couldn't let him continue on and on about me losing him when in reality, I could be losing Shaé. The thought of going a day without Shaé telling me things or hearing her voice through the phone is already agonizing. I don't need Bryan to jinx himself in such situation too.

I don't want that day to come; whereby I wouldn't have Shaé or Bryan with me. I know that I wouldn't be able to face the truth because it'd be so damn hard. The sinking feeling to know that I'd have to live the rest of my life without the people that I love most; and it's something that I wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

"I know that Shaé wouldn't want you to waste your tears or energy for her. She'd want you to be healthy for her to see when she wakes up, maybe later or tomorrow. Please, let me buy you something to eat Zariah."

With tears once again cascading my face, I only nod as my head is buried in Bryan's chest. All those tears I've held in for the past hour in front of Stefan, it's being let out now. I'm going to let it all now because Stefan will be back soon and I'd have to pretend again.

Pretend that it'll be fine, Shaé will wake up soon. And I will be ready for that time to come… Meanwhile, I could at least take a bite of salad which would help to keep me awake – and well.

* * *

 _25_ _th_ _September 2012, Tuesday – Buffalo, New York_

After much insistence by Reed and Bryan, I didn't falter to leave the hospital – _or Shaé's side_. It was only when I received Carrano's call that I snapped back to reality. The hurtful reality which requires me to get back on the road, back to work and leave Shaé under the care of Reed and the hospital staff. If it's up to me, I'd never want to leave. I'd abandon any commitment at all for the sake of Shaé; but Carrano mentioned about a follow-up meeting regarding my contract.

That gave me a slight push. But it was only until Stefan promised, he'd take care of his mum too that made me rush to catch a flight to Buffalo, New York.

 _So here I am_ , waiting impatiently.

Bryan came a while ago, wishing me the best of luck. He even planted a soft peck to my forehead but I didn't budge. All I did was stand still, with thoughts of Shaé invading my mind; both the best and worst scenarios that could happen while I'm away from her.

"Zariah, come on in."

Just when Carrano opens the door, I paused in my tracks from pacing back and forth. I have been doing so for the past 3 minutes, and to finally be able to meet Paul and Carrano is a relief. I just want to get this meeting over and done with.

Making myself comfortable, I sit in front of both men after shaking Paul's hand as a greeting. While Carrano is aware of my current situation, I'm not too sure about Paul having any knowledge of Shaé's condition in the hospital. Hopefully, he'd be able to put in some thought about my contract such as taking some time off; in regards to Shaé.

"First of all, I learn that you show little interest to Total Divas. Can I know exactly why?"

"Reality TV is not what I aspire to be involved in. While I do consider a career in acting, reality TV is not an option I'd choose to go for."

Paul nodded at my answer to his question. If he needs anymore cross-examining to do, I'm prepare to be released. Honestly, being bound to this contract and achieve nothing after all these months is demoralizing enough. I've been working hard and train as much as I could for the sake of being a reputable female wrestler here. If this is how WWE is going to use me the entire time, I could go elsewhere for exposure.

I could go back to Ring of Honor where my passion was ignited.

"Alright. As promised, I've made changes to your contract based on what Vince thinks. He still sees you as a potential star and wants you to stay with us."

"Am I still being used as an official?" _I had to asked_ , I really want this to be one of the changes.

"For now, you'll still work as an official. But don't worry, we are working on building your character and giving you an unforgettable début. So far, Vince is really impressed by your work so I have a feeling that it'll happen soon."

To hear Paul mentioned Vince's name a couple of times in this meeting gives me a sigh of relief. At least, it's for something positive. Vince is the owner of the company and for him to see any bit of potential in me, it's an honor. As much as I'm bummed by the outcome of still being an official, it's heartening to know that they are working on it.

Paul did meet up with Vince to discuss about me.

"Frankly, Zariah, I admire your work ethic and how passionate you are in your image and career. But I believe, it's better for you to take some time off."

"After much discussion, we've all agreed to give you a 2-month break after Hell in a Cell."

Carrano added, following Paul. _Thank goodness_ , I could finally smile of joy. It has been a while since I last smiled and I do genuinely mean this one because I'd be able to spend time with my family. I'd have the chance to show my appreciation towards Shaé all these years; taking care of me.

This is a way that I'd pay her back, as a sister.

I could feel my eyes swelling with tears even, after hearing the news. After going through the revised contract, I thanked both Paul and Carrano for their understanding of my situation. And for now, I can happily walk out of the office – knowing that I'd get back to my family soon.

While it may not be right now, I'm still entitled to some time off. Except, there's one last thing I'd have to do before I continue on with my life.

 _Call Jane Geddes to decline Total Divas_.


	6. Keep Holding On

**A/N: First of all, I'm sooo sorry for the irregular updates but I really hope ya'll had a great Christmas and are excited for the New Year's! Yay :)**

 **Okay, so I've been trying to keep my story short and sweet. I feel like I've drag enough but I swear, Colby/Rollins will be appearing soon enough!**

 **Enjoy this one, inspired by another sad song Avril Lavigne's Keep Holding On**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _10_ _th_ _October 2012, Wednesday – Phoenix, Arizona_

Terrified is the only word to describe my emotional state as of now. After informing Carrano, how Shaé's condition continues to worsen, he lessens my appearances at live events. I'm in distraught a week ago when the doctor told me there was nothing they could do; as my sister remain unconscious.

What's left for them to do was monitor her health and conduct regular check-ups every day.

Whatever the doctor and nurses have been doing to Shaé, both Bryan and Colby do the same to me. They never fail to give me a text or call, at random times of the days that I'm back at Phoenix. Brie drop by a couple of times too whenever she's back in Phoenix but none of their comforting manage to put me at ease.

It's only when I see both of Shaé's eyes looking back in mine then I'll calm down. I'll be able to think of whatever else that I have to think about; from my career and even my health.

 _For now, my sister needs me_.

I sat by the side of Shaé's bed, holding my tears back. I told Reed to take Stefan home for the night. The child needs his rest and so does Reed. Plus, I couldn't let my baby Stefan watch his mum like this any longer. I don't want this to worry him as much as it's worrying me.

My sight fixated on her pale body, laying in the same bed for almost 3 weeks now. Ever since she gave birth to Raé, I have yet to talk to her or see her awake. All I want to know is that my sister is going to be fine… That's the only reassurance that I need in life.

Because without her, I wouldn't be who I am today. I was nurtured and taken care of perfectly by a beloved sister and not once, _not one time_ , have she ever voiced or hinted that she'd give up on me. No matter how ridiculous it sounds for a straight As student to put her studies on hold for a slight chance of making it in the wrestling industry.

It truly was a fat chance for me to succeed in WWE, especially without any background in wrestling before being signed. _But Shaé had faith in me_ … At that moment, more than I do in myself. That wasn't my darkest times but I'm still thankful for her guidance which leads me here.

Taking Shaé's cold hand in mine, I feel a drop of tear rolling down my cheek.

"All I want to do is make you proud… Please wake up and give me the chance to do that Shaé. I'll be here okay? Until you wake up."

I sobbed, after placing a peck on her hand. I know I'm not the only one who needs her. Reed does, and so does her two beautiful kids. That's why I'm here and I will be; until Shaé open her eyes.

* * *

 _15_ _th_ _October 2012, Monday –_ _Phoenix, Arizona_

After the show in Nashville, I left the city eagerly upon Reed's call. I was done for the night when Bryan came to see me outside of the locker room. Well, typically after showering and packing my bag, I'd head over to the catering for a drink. But not last night. Clearly it wasn't enough for him to check on me through text or phone calls.

 _Because that was an intervention_.

Apparently, people have been talking and worried sick about me. Even the seamstress noticed how I've lose some weight over the past weeks and the makeup team pointed out how I look pale. Every single time, when I take a seat to have my makeup on before the show starts, they'd all be commenting or repeating for me to have a bread.

Considering how I'm troubled enough by how I'm away from my sister, their concern was the least of my concern. I genuinely could care less of what everyone has to say about it, but when it comes to Bryan… I can't ignore him.

 _He's a brother to me_.

So, I gave in and have a seat with Bryan. He consoled me, encouraged me to stay strong and remind me of my health. I need to eat and be mindful to stay in good physical shape, especially with our line of work. Despite not being out there as much anymore, I still have to remain fit to juggle with the travelling.

For most of the time, I stay silent. Until Reed called, he informed me that Shaé have woken up and that she's well. He summarized what the doctor told him to me within 2 minutes before I hang up the call. I was overjoyed that I only hugged Bryan without saying anything. I was happy, finally, after a long while; _I'm happy_.

"Shaé!" I exclaimed as soon as I entered the room. "You're awake."

This time, I don't even bother to hold my tears back. I've been strong far too long and now that I get to see my sister again, I want her to know how I couldn't be any happier and relief that she's up. Shaé and I talked all night, while Reed took Stefan home. It's late and the 4-year-old have pre-school to go to tomorrow morning. So, once again, I take the night shift to be by Shaé's side.

"Do you have something to tell me?" Shaé blurted out, after I helped her take a sip of drink. "Ria?"

To be honest, I have no idea what she was questioning me of. Nothing much had happened while she was unconscious… _What could have Reed told her?_ Or was it Bryan… My mind is left in wonders that I forget to reply to Shaé's question.

"Reed told me about the audition." _Ah, so that's it_. "Why don't you go for it?"

"Shaé, you can't possibly think that I'd leave you if it wasn't for work right? There'll be other auditions for me."

"But why not just try this one?" She urged, cutting me before I could change the subject. "I'm fine now."

I press my lips together, wordlessly. Shaé is being persistent this time, and I'm not sure why. It's merely an audition that Reed happened to hear of a week ago. He persuaded me to give it a try as well, considering how filming would take place in California and it'd be for a recurring character.

It was the best opportunity for me; to pick up another line of work – acting.

"Ria, I promise you, I'm fine. Opportunities like this don't come often and I don't want to be the reason that you're holding back for something that you could make a career of. Honey, you have nothing to lose."

This time, Shaé is definitely right. This isn't for a reality show, it's a TV series that I could legitimately make or break my acting career. If I could start somewhere, why not go ahead for an audition first? Plus, for someone who travels so much working with WWE, it'd be nice to settle in California and work there too.

"Okay," I smile to Shaé. "I'll go for it."

My smile widens, assuring her that I'll be gone in the morning for my flight back to California. It's funny how Shaé finds it hard to trust that I'll attend the audition. At least, there will finally be a reason for me to stick around in Long Beach often; if I were to nail this audition. But before I could ace it, I'll be with my sister till she falls asleep. I couldn't leave her side just yet; I want to spend a little more time with her.

* * *

 _21_ _st_ _October 2012, Sunday – Long Beach, California_

So here I am, sitting by the café window, sipping on my strawberry slushee. It has been a while since I'm back in Long Beach. As much as I do miss it, at this second, I miss being with Shaé more. I know that she's in good hands of Reed and the hospital's staff but I can't put her to back of my mind. Both Shaé and her daughter have yet to be discharged; which means there must have been something that's holding them back at the hospital.

I'm praying that whatever it is, it isn't too serious.

"You're awfully quiet." Brie remarked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just… Shaé seems to be doing well but, I don't know. Doctor haven't say anything about discharging her and Raé."

Just by being here with Brie instead of taking caring of her, I feel bad. Though I know, I do little to aid in her recovery or quicken the time for her to leave the hospital if I were to be there.

Ever since I auditioned for Teen Wolf, I have not gone back to Phoenix yet. But I did give them a call and video calls, which could only do so much for me to release my yearning to be with them again.

"I heard Reed told Bryan that she'll be fine. That's what the doctor said, they know best Ria. You can relax."

Brie takes hold of my hand, on the table. She gives it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. Showing her a small smile, I then take a bite of my cinnamon roll donut. Usually it'd be Shaé or Bryan giving me this assurance but Brie seems to be pretty good at it too.

"Did Bryan set you up to do this or do you really miss me Brie?" I questioned, skeptically.

It was a little odd to have her call me unexpectedly and treat me donuts today. To be honest, I didn't even want to come but Brie had me hooked at the mention of donuts… _And she's paying for it anyway_.

"Actually, I have something to tell you." Brie gushed with excitement. "Jane called me and Nicole."

"And…" Eagerly, I had to cut her off. "What did she say?"

"Well, she was considering of giving us roles in Total Divas."

I'm speechless… _Did Bryan even tell her about my wearisome decision-making about the same show?_ As Brie continue to enthuse about the opportunity, I could only smile – unsure of words to say next. While I did decline the offer to be the main lead, I'm glad to know it had open up doors for the twins' return.

If they were to accept this, Bryan would be over the moon. He will have Brie back with him on the road and not have to travel with only me; all the time. As much as I love him, I'd also like to spend a little less time with him whenever we're on the road.

That is, before Shaé fell sick and I have been excused from working live events.

"No way, I'm so happy for you." I squeaked, leaning across the table to give her a hug. "That's huge."

"I know right and its reality TV, I'm not even sure if I'm good enough for it."

"Are you kidding me?" Brie had me in disbelief. "You two will be great, I just know it."

Brie shared with me more about Jane's proposition. It basically includes the show itself and an idea of what the twins will be doing once they're back with the company. I'm actually interested to know how they will fit in with the current standing of the women's division.

While I'll be gone for a while, WWE need a backup plan. And they surely know who to call back, the twins that have gained significant following since Brie first debut. I have a feeling that if I were to accept the spot in Total Divas and if Shaé were to be in good physical shape after her delivery, the twins have no chance of coming back.

And now, at least, I could see a silver lining in the cloud shadowing me with obstacles in life.


	7. My Prerogative

**A/N: Happy New Year to all of you! Finally first update for the 2017 and as promised... COLBY/ROLLINS IS FINALLY IN THIS CHAPTER ;)**

 **And there'll be more of him pretty soon. As long as I update timely, so let me know if you're waiting too long for the next one! Sorry about it, in advance.**

 **And this one is inspired by a badass song, FINALLY, Britney Spears' My Prerogative.**

 **ENJOY!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _28_ _th_ _October 2012, Sunday – Atlanta, Georgia_

Dressed in a floral print romper with long bell sleeves, I join the twins and Bryan for lunch before heading to the arena. After a morning workout with the twins, they invited me and since I'm left with nothing to do; here I am. It's not as if I have a chance of turning them down anyway, especially when Nicole is the one to insist.

Slipping my phone into the slanted front pocket, I take a seat across Bryan while Nicole sits next to me. I did mention to Bryan about tonight being my last night before I take a hiatus. While it is bittersweet – to put my career on hold, I'll do anything for the sake of my sister and it will be good for me to take a break for a bit. Take some time off to figure out whether I'd want to continue going this road, _or not_.

I'm just hoping that no one mentions it or even tell me that I'll be missed.

"So what are you having?" Nicole queried, after placing down her menu.

"Crab cake sandwich."

I simply answered before calling the waiter to make an order. The twins take a sip of their drink while Bryan and I chat about his match tonight. He will be defending the Tag Team championship with Kane against Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow and I will be involved in the match for the Divas championship; _as a referee_. I sigh softly to myself at the thought of it.

Compared myself to the twins though, at least I get to be out there whereas they will be backstage the entire time. Tonight, I really hope I can do the best as I could. It is my last night but I'm not too sure if I'll ever be back in the same ring. It really depends on the management, the creatives and also myself.

I couldn't live being a referee any longer. It's getting exasperated as I've been training to be a wrestler; not to officiate matches for months now.

"I'm so glad you guys are back." I said, as soon as I turn to face Brie. "I can finally get away from Bryan now."

Bryan, taking offense to my joke, glare at me. As if he hadn't gotten bored or tired of travelling with me at all, I roll my eyes. I still remembered, at one point, on our way to Baton Rouge from New Orleans, Bryan made me so mad that I yelled at him.

It was Colby's birthday and Bryan kept ruining my takes of sending him a video to wish him. It was really late; I didn't want to miss my chance of wishing my best friend on his birthday, and I'm cranky as heck after a long day. In the end, Bryan and I compromised by sending Colby the video with the both of us wishing him. Only because Bryan and Colby are good friends and I'm being a considerate cousin and best friend. Also, if I hadn't done so, Bryan would get rid of me off _his_ rental car and I'd be left on the roadside.

"I can't believe you'll be leaving us after tonight." Nicole replied quickly. "I mean, we ju—"

"Let me guess, Bryan told you?"

"Brie did." Both of us turn to glance at the other twin. "I didn't know it was a secret."

 _It wasn't_ , but it'd be nice to have less people know about it – _or talk about it_. Nicole is surely one to tell, she can't keep a secret for more than an hour. That's why, Brie is always the go-to twin when it comes to problems or even something insanely wild that I'm keeping to myself.

"It wasn't but, go on."

"Well, we wanted to tell you that, we're going to be on Total Divas!"

Nicole sounded more enthusiastic than Brie does when she told me about the offer. Even now, Nicole is the one to be far more elated than her younger twin. Before saying anything, I smile widely to show my happiness for them. Honestly, I don't think anyone else deserves the spot more than they do. Especially after how they choose to be released due to the constraints of their previous contracts.

I can't even believe they were gone for months; now that they're back.

Well, they haven't exactly appeared on-screen but they have been around meeting the management for a while now. Since Shaé gave birth, I have not been around much but it's good to know that Brie will be with Bryan again. He wouldn't be on his own as much; while I'm gone.

"Congrats! Brie told me about it, and I know you two are made for the show. You deserve it."

I give Nicole a hug as Brie and Bryan watch. WWE is definitely trying to revamp the women's division by involving some of us on E! Entertainment, but this isn't the way I wanted it to be. What I need is a development of how the women are being treated on-screen as well as the matches we wrestle. Getting us to some reality channel isn't in my list of accomplishments at all.

"Thanks Ria. It's sad how we won't be seeing you around much though." Brie remarked.

"It'll be fine." I tried to assure them. "You'll probably see me elsewhere."

"What are you trying to say?"

Bryan finally spoke, faster than the twins did. Besides Shaé and Reed, no one else knew about it. Not even Brie even though she shared with me about Total Divas the other day. I could resist keeping the secret to myself, particularly after how the casting director and Jeff Davis took interest in me after the audition.

While they don't seem too eager, it was clear that they are considering me for the role of Malia Tate. There were numerous people there, some were actresses while others were just like me. We're basically trying our luck on this opportunity. And fingers crossed, I'm the one they pick.

"I went for an acting audition." I revealed, witnessing surprised faces soon after. "I wanted to give it a try."

"For a movie?" "You did what?"

Both Bryan and I easily laugh at how stunned the twins were. It's funny how they think they know me well enough but then, I did the unthinkable. Not once have I mentioned acting. Turning down modelling, yes – _repetitively_.

Photoshoots are not meant for me, unless it was supposed to be me displaying my championship either holding the title proudly above my head, have it around my waist or placed on my shoulder. If it wasn't for any of those cases, I'm not going to dress myself in bikini photoshoots or anything which requires me to pose like a model.

I'm here to be a champion and I will readily stand in front of the camera; as a champion – _not a model_.

"To be honest, I'm pleasantly surprise." Bryan broke the silence, before eating his meal. "It's a good choice."

"Good choice? Are you kidding Bryan?" Nicole had to reply back, showing discontentment. "That's stupid."

Immediately, I drop my utensils to turn to the woman seated next to me. _How dare she_ …

"Excuse you?"

"Zariah, you turned down Total Divas for some acting audition? You've never act in your entire life, that's quite a decision you made. I mean, at least in Total Divas, you'll get what you need in WWE which is exposure. I just think that —"

At that point, my blood has definitely boiled. I'm enraged by how Nicole thinks that she could purely judge me and the choices I make in life. It's my life and even Shaé don't dare to regulate anything I do; unless it will affect my mental and physical health. But Nicole,

"I honestly don't care about what you think Nicole." I chided to cut her tirade. "I didn't even ask for it. And you know what's stupid, is that you think you're the first call for Total Divas. If it wasn't for me —"

"Zariah!"

I stopped as soon as Bryan get off his seat to call me out. This time, he could tell that I'm as furious as I was in that rental car with him. I'm not going to calm down or compromise with Nicole. Frankly, we have no ties and I'd be happy to give her every piece of my mind that she deserves; after what she said.

"Right, so you think you have some sort of contribution for my success?" Nicole rebuked, her tone increasing.

"Ria, don't!"

Bryan exclaimed, knowing exactly how I wouldn't hesitate to spat out the darndest things. You know what people say, we can never take back the words we say. For that reason, Bryan is pulling me out of the restaurant to leave the heated argument behind. While Brie hold Nicole back from continuing to pour gasoline to the fire.

I can't believe she said that it was ' _stupid_ ' of me to venture out when she had done the same; which consequent of her release with Brie. _Who does she think she is?_ I'm not like Brie who she can boss around anytime she wants, or sort out my life as she likes.

As my cousin get us into a cab, I stare out of the window. I've never felt so infuriated before until now and I stayed that way – in silence – throughout the ride back to the hotel.

The only thing I need to do right now is face a punching bag to pummel on.

* * *

I arrived at Philips Arena on my own, in a cab. Thankfully, I managed to slither into the venue unnoticed by the crowd. Wearing a hat surely helps to keep my identity hidden, since I'm not typically pictured with one before. I watched my co-workers enter and leave the gym as I continued to spend hours there.

Over and over again, I could hear Nicole's voice in my head. The word ' _stupid_ ' on loop, and it drives me to punch much harder than my previous hit. I don't understand why it affected me this much but I need to let it all out. I couldn't arrive to work still being mad, especially not at the ones who are innocent in this matter anyway. So with an hour to spare before I'm supposed to be at the venue, I bought a cup of tea and get a ride here.

The plan for the rest of the night is to avoid Nicole.

As long as I'm nowhere near the divas locker room for most of the night, that'd be superb. Although, they won't be in there for too long either. Since they're not needed on-screen just yet, it's possible for them to linger backstage aimlessly.

Sighing, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that our paths don't cross throughout the show. What I don't need is news going around after tonight that I was in an altercation with ' _the_ ' Nikki Bella due to personal issues.

* * *

After a quick change into my referee gear and getting my hair and make-up done, I head over to catering. I manage to escape swiftly upon hearing the twins making their way to the same area. I have no idea who to hang around with at this moment but what the heck? I'll just be sitting here, watching people come and go before I get my cue to meet with the ladies and producer.

With a bottle of drink placed on the table, I keep my gaze at it. I don't know if this is will be my last night here. I've met really great people here, ones that I'll probably miss talking to or seeing. I couldn't be any more thankful that they have been kind enough to accommodate a newbie when I first arrive to the roster 8 months ago. From hair and make-up to wrestlers and the team of referees that helped me throughout the entire time. Mike Chioda have been especially supportive; before huge pay-per-view events like Wrestlemania.

Memories of being out there at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, with 78,000 people cheering and jeering. It was a dream but not the one I desired most. I intend to step into the ring as a performer, executing the wildest maneuvers on the grandest stage of sports entertainment. Instead for this year, _and hopefully this year only_ , I was assigned to be the referee for the women's tag team match.

Just watching Maria Menounos, a television host, getting the chance to work the match at Wrestlemania of all places, it aches my heart.

"BOO!"

Letting out a scream, I jump out of my seat and knock the bottle down in the process. Water spilled on the ground but that was the least of my concern. My only desire now is to murder the idiot that,

"YOU!"

He stands in front of me, laughing out loud. The incident was too hilarious for him that he had to bend down and places his hand on his stomach. _I can't believe this guy_ , reveling in the fright of my life. Disregarding all the longing I have towards him, I charge at him and put him in a headlock.

"HEY! Let me go, come on! Z, come on."

"No!" I exclaimed, tightening my hold on him. "Not until you apologize."

"Fine! I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry!"

He cried out till I finally let him free. This idiot clearly knows the better choice, if not I would have given him an elbow to the stomach. That'll surely adds up to the pain I've caused for being a humor; during the scare.

"Don't tell me you're not going to give me a hug after that one hell of a headlock?"

With a scowl on my face, I don't know how else to react to this. The entire situation is a surprise; I'm not even sure if this is a pleasant surprise that I need at this second – on my final night here. For a second, I fix my gaze at the man facing me. He surely does have a huge grin plastered to his face and how could I stay mad at that for long?

The next second I know, I'm already in the arms of my best friend, Colby. His large hands placed at my upper back, holding me in his embrace. I can't believe I get to see him tonight, out of all nights. After too long of not seeing each other, I've missed him so much. I don't even think a day goes by when I wouldn't think how different my life would be if Colby were to be here with me.

We'd still be the inseparable duo that we were back in FCW.

"It have only been 3 months; you know?" He remarked, then chuckling at me.

"Why are you even here?" Smacking his arm after I pull back from his hold. "And why didn't you tell me?"

He simply laughed before taking a seat, which prompt me to join him. My gaze focuses solely on him, staying attentive to hear the reason of his presence here. From all I know, he's still the NXT champion and just, _what the hell is he doing here?_

"They're testing the waters with me, on the roster, with a couple of guys."

"Really?! Tonight?" I'm already thrilled at the mention of him on the roster. "Who else is here?"

"It's just Ambrose and Joe." He replied nonchalantly. "You're pretty excited about this, huh?"

I could only smile widely at the good news, especially knowing how frustrated Colby have been in developmental. He has experience in the indie circuit yet he was held off for far too long, in my opinion. I honestly can't wait for the day I see Colby leave the WWE universe in aghast by how amazing of a wrestler he is.

"Of course I am," I pat his left arm, in disbelief. "You've been whining too much and I'm kinda sick and tired listening to it. I'm just glad it'll finally stop now."

Dodging from his bear hug, I laugh and we walk out of catering after I grab a new bottle of drink. More people are filling up the catering and both of us decide leave to give them seats. In fact, I wouldn't mind being anywhere in this building as long as both Colby and I can finally talk.

I want to know everything but truthfully, he'll never tell. Even if Colby wants to, he couldn't. The company will surely want his début to be kept a hush hush; the same they did for me when I first arrived here. He then changed the topic though, asking about how I'm doing as we both hop on a case filled with props.

"Good?" I release a soft chuckle, unsure of what else to say. "I'm good."

"That sounds convincing… If only I don't know you too well." I avoid from meeting his eyes. "What is it?"

Colby shouldn't have asked about me. It was only then that it dawned to me that I'll be leaving, just when he's about to make his arrival here at the main roster. I'm going to miss my best friend's presence, _again_. The last time we talked on the phone was 2 days ago, yet I have not mentioned a word about my hiatus since my meeting with Carrano and Paul.

 _That was a month ago_. When I thought that it wouldn't matter to Colby since he'll be busy with NXT tapings anyway in Winter Park, Florida. I don't want to be a nuisance in his life that's already frustrating enough for him.

"Is this about Shaé?" I remain silent, pressing my lips together. "How is she?"

"Still in the hospital, but she's awake."

At least he knows about Shaé. Well, Bryan was the one to inform him about Shaé since I have not been returning his calls or texts. It was only when Bryan told me to not isolate myself from the people that cares about me that I made an effort to give Colby a call.

I still remember, talking to him on the phone; but mostly crying. At one point, I couldn't even form coherent words until Colby soothe me. He talked to me about anything – _everything_ – else to put my mind at ease, even though I couldn't avoid feeling depressed. Shaé was right in front me, and I sat there helplessly – waiting for her to wake up.

"That's good news. You get to talk to her again and,"

"Be with her." I interrupted him. "I'm taking a break after tonight, to take care of her."

This time, I turn to see his reaction. Colby stays silent for a while but smile and nods at me. We both know it's for the best though it's unfortunate how we can never be together due to fate. The timing is always off with us but one thing's for sure, I'm not scared of the distance we have to bear.

Unlike what Nicholas Sparks quoted, I know for sure that Colby will miss me just as much as I'll miss him – instead of forgetting about each other. We went through so much for distance to scare us now.

* * *

 _31_ _st_ _October 2012, Wednesday – Phoenix, Arizona_

The last time Bryan checked, none of them wanted to hear a word mentioned about the other. After Hell in Cell, Zariah flew back to Phoenix on her own. Bryan and Brie were the only ones to send Zariah to the cab before she heads to the airport. While she was amiable towards Brie, Bryan knows deep down Zariah is still furious at Nicole.

She's lucky that Bryan was even there to pull Zariah out or she would have flipped the table – _literally_. Or do something that would have definitely make matters worse. For someone who may appear calm and friendly at all times, Zariah loses her temper easily. But if Nicole's words were to aim at him, Bryan is sure as hell that he'd splash his drink on Nicole too.

"Nicole, we need to talk."

Seeing how Nicole is joining him and Brie for dinner tonight, he decides to touch on the matter again. As someone who is close to both of the girls, he really wants them to sort their issue out. He also realized how awkward it'd be for Brie too; given that Nicole is her twin and partner for life.

"What about?" She replied, casually before taking a bite of the roasted potatoes.

"About Ria, what else could it be?" Bryan replied. "Look, can you just lay off from ridiculing her decision?"

"But all I said was—"

"I wasn't finished." He cut her off as easily as she did to him. "She's going through tough times right now and the last thing she needs is you butting into her life."

Bryan really did put himself in Zariah's shoes. With her emotional state, worrying about Shaé 24/7, she really doesn't need anyone scoffing at her. At this point of time, his cousin is a fragile being and Nicole's words certainly doesn't help to keep her from breaking.

"I was just trying to help her figure things out... See the bigger picture. It will help her to survive in the company."

"I'm not going to ban you from advising Ria in her career choices, but that's not the way to do it. If you ever ridicule her decision again, we're going to have a problem."

"So what, now I have to apologize to her?"

Both Brie and Bryan stay silent to Nicole's rhetorical question. After the conversation she just had with Bryan, it's clear enough how the couple sees Zariah as the victim in the situation. Nicole shouldn't have mentioned the word ' _stupid_ ', and she was supposed to be the wiser one.

The least the 29-year-old can do is call to apologize.

* * *

I'm sitting in a café with Stefan beside me. He's happily devouring the ice cream I bought for him as a reward for eating something today. Since Shaé woke up, it's hard to separate him from his mum. At times, Reed will have to carry the 4-year-old as he cries, yelling to stay put with his mum.

With Reed away at work, I'm the one to fetch Stefan from school and brought him for an early dinner before taking him to the hospital. I watch him with a smile on my face, after he share a spoon of his chocolate ice cream with me.

Before I could take another sip of my milkshake, my phone rings and I answer promptly seeing Bryan's name.

"Hey." I simply said, then taking a quick sip of my beverage at hand.

"How are you doing?"

"Doing fine. I'm with Stefan right now."

I smile again, and stroke Stefan's hair as he looks up at me. The child is probably curious why I mentioned his name. He paused eating his ice cream, watching me speak on the phone till I mouth for him to finish up quick. Knowing how he'd be able to see his mum faster, Stefan did as he was told.

"Have you eaten?" I chuckled at Bryan's concern for me, when Shaé is the one hospitalized.

"Yes… I just ate a sandwich after fetching Stefan." I informed him. "And Shaé is doing fine too by the way."

We converse about Shaé's condition for an entire 2 minutes. Both of us still clueless, when she will be discharged though. The doctor has not mentioned anything bad but he hadn't say when will Shaé be discharged either. When questioned, their answers were repetitive and exasperating to hear. It's always about checking up on Shaé's condition, getting more tests done on Shaé and I wonder what could have gone so wrong when she delivered Raé.

Before ending the call, I also told Bryan that I'll be staying in Phoenix in the meantime. While Reed have continued with work, I'll be the one to look after Stefan, Shaé and also Raé – my beloved niece. I'm still waiting for the day when I'll be holding Raé in my arms… Because for now, she's still under the doctor and nurses' supervision.

* * *

"You heard what Bryan said."

Brie reminded her twin sister. The only thing she have to do is pick up her phone and give Ria a call. That's all Nicole had to do to resolve the issue but she has yet to do it. Not wanting to boss the older twin, Brie remain at the couch and look out of the house at Bryan.

He must be checking in on Ria now. Over the past month, he has been doing it often. Mostly due to Shaé being unwell, Bryan feels the need to step in her responsibility of being the elder sibling to Ria. She's still young and learning… Though she thinks she might have it all figured out at times, Ria have yet to know everything there is to know about WWE yet.

"What if she yells at me again?" Nicole claimed. "You see how mad she was…"

"Because you made her mad. And you deserve it Nicole, so go put on your big pants and say sorry."

She groans and walks out of the living room. After what she said, Nicole is too embarrassed to give Ria a call. Plus, it seems immature to be apologizing through a phone call. The apology can wait, maybe till Nicole see Ria again.


	8. Hit the Reset

**A/N: First of all, sorry if ya'll waited for long! I've been busy with school and also trying to get a life outside... You know, just hanging out like a normal human do on every Friday night. Btw, I feel like trying to do different things to do every Fridays... Any ideas on what it could it? Just hmu on the reviews or PM will do too :)**

 **Hope you enjoy this one after a much draggy A/N!**

 **The chapter is specially inspired by This Wild Life's Hit the Reset. And give Low Tides a listen, if you haven't! A totally chill album and... it may or may not make you a tiny bit sad at the end of the album.**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _09_ _th_ _December 2012, Sunday – Phoenix, Arizona_

Today is a special day.

I woke up, believing that today would give Shaé the spirit that she grew up with. The same spirit that she taught me to have up till this very day. If it wasn't for Shaé, I wouldn't have the drive to break into the sports entertainment industry… Or even gotten my black belt in kickboxing.

Every single day, I wake up feeling brand new with Shaé smiling right at me and inspire me to do my best in whatever I do. While failure is inevitable in life, I did manage to control on how much it affects me. I remembered being kick to the curb during tryouts for lacrosse in high school – _because I was a girl_. I was dejected, especially when I'm willing to do my best and train as hard as the guys did. The coach didn't even give me a shot and I went home, infuriated.

All I wanted to do was punch or break something. I was pissed off running back home, and I only cried when I was telling Shaé about it. At least I did show a glimpse of myself breaking at the incident… But looking at Shaé right now, it scares me.

Ever since she was discharged, Shaé hadn't done much. She even speaks lesser when we talked to her. It's up to the point when she would stay dead silent as Stefan was enthusiastically telling him about how he excelled in his spelling. Just watching how unresponsive my sister is, it makes me weep. And I did, after putting Stefan to bed. The child was questioning me the entire time, asking me if his mum is still sick. Showing him a vague nod, I then tucked him in bed and cry myself to sleep.

It has been going on for nearly a month now. I'm afraid that it will affect Stefan emotionally, thinking that his mum doesn't love him anymore. He's growing yet still unaware of how Raé's premature birth has affected his mum greatly.

While Shaé is able to get home, Raé remains in the hospital. The incubator apparently plays a vital role to her survival. Without it, a lot more complications could happen to such a young and innocent infant. She has yet to be held in her family's arms; after entering the world 2 months ago.

For 2 months, the entire family is left worrying of her condition. Due to her premature birth, Raé is losing body heat rapidly and if her body temperature were to dip too low, it could result in hypothermia. The issue of Raé's temperature control could even lead to breathing problems or low blood sugar levels. Upon learning of her newborn's sufferings, Shaé must have felt at fault. This is what that have been causing her to be so silent, _so depressed_ – even though she's not to be blame for this.

* * *

Since Reed and Stefan are preparing the surprise for Shaé's 32nd birthday, I decided to take my sister out. She has not been brought out of the house for a while now. I guess, taking her out for a fresher air would help a little.

I also have a destination planned, ever since I fed her breakfast this morning. She consumed minimal of the porridge but drank enough fluid to keep her hydrated. I want to make sure that my sister is healthy, especially on her birthday. Even though she's in this deep end of darkness, I want to shed a sliver of light into her life.

That's why I take her here, where she can see her little angel.

"I miss her too." I said, as I stand beside Shaé. "But I know, it's nothing; compared to how much you miss her."

In a light grey sleeveless, buttoned front romper, I keep my gaze on Raé who appears to be sleeping. The little one deserves all the sleep she needs. Reed, Shaé and I want her to grow so that she'll be able to be go home with us. Raé can be in the arms of the woman; who loved her ever since she was forming in her womb.

"If only she knows how much you love her. I know you'd do anything for her, Shaé. That's why you didn't tell me or Reed about the doctor's warning, is it?"

I finally speak up about what Reed informed me. All these while, all of us have been kept in the dark as to how dangerous it is if Shaé were to continue with the pregnancy of Raé. That's why she was kept in the hospital for the longest time ever. The doctor and nurses had to monitor and made sure that Shaé was truly well enough; after the risk she took upon herself and her child.

Now, while Shaé's out of harm's way, she has to watch her child suffer of the decision she made alone. Shaé hadn't share the news to Reed and was adamant in keeping Raé despite the doctor's precautions.

"No one is mad at you Shaé. No one is blaming you either. It's just fate… It has its ways of giving us the hurdles that trick us into believing that we'd never survive, but we can. If not alone, then together; as a family."

 _Still no response_ , I hold back my sigh. I couldn't show any sign of exasperation, despite how hard I'm trying to break into the hard shell that Shaé have built. For weeks, she has been keeping herself in it that she won't even let me in; or Reed.

"She'll be fine; I hope you know that. Just like how you are, right now."

Tears begin swelling in my eyes as I turn to look at Shaé, standing still as she stares at her baby.

"Raé will get out of there soon, just like you did a month ago. For now, you need to be you, Shaé. You need to be the strong person that you are when you raise me up. Because Raé needs a strong mother that I don't have."

At that moment, tears just starts to flow down my face. I fail to hold it any longer, especially at the mention of our parents. The ones whom I never know since I was young. While I never did get to have the slightest memory of my parents, Raé does have a glimmer of hope.

"I'm sorry, honey, I'm so sorry."

Blurting out of the blue, Shaé then pulls me in an embrace as I cry against her chest. I sob like I did when I was rejected from the lacrosse team. And Shaé is right here, hugging me tightly as a way to comfort me – just as it used to be and I couldn't be happier.

* * *

 _24_ _th_ _December 2013, Monday – Phoenix, Arizona_

I look at her, looking at her child. I watch in the distance how her smile grows and her eyes taking in the beauty of her second born. Shaé have never been happier since we brought Raé home a couple of weeks ago. When they meet, right in the middle of the nursery, I observe how Shaé swiftly takes Raé in her arms and place kisses on her forehead.

Reed stood behind his wife, appreciative to see Shaé lit up again. He rests his chin on her shoulder, a wide smile appears on his face. Both parents cheerfully welcoming their daughter to the world, after her extended stay in the hospital.

"Ria?" Reed called out. "Come and join us."

"Aunt Riri…"

Stefan ran towards me and pull me towards the living room. I chuckled lightly, playing along to Stefan's drag even though he uses little force tugging my hand. I take a seat on an armchair, bringing Stefan up to sit on my lap as well. He seems to be playing with his race cars joyfully; making those toys floating in mid-air as I hold onto him tightly. After placing a quick kiss on his left cheek, I then look up to Shaé. She's finally free-handed, after Reed takes Raé from her arm.

"I have something to tell you." I uttered, out of the blue.

"What is it?"

At the tone of my voice, both of them remain attentive. Even Reed is taking a second keeping his eyes on me, instead of his precious little angel. _I can't believe I'm doing this_ ; I tell myself but ignores the voice in my head. I've known the news for a while now but I choose to keep it to myself.

There never seem to be the right time for me to unveil the news, until now. It's Christmas Eve, everyone's happily gathered here. _Where else can I find a moment better than right now?_

"I nailed the audition." I emitted quickly. "I'm officially part of the Teen Wolf cast!"

"What?" Shaé takes a moment to process the good news. "I know you could do it Ria! Come here!"

My sister beamed as she ran towards me for a hug. Stefan is included in the hug as well, as Reed watch us from across the living room. My smile couldn't be wider today, especially by how much Shaé have changed for the better. She has been smiling, and cheerfully caring for Raé; even in the early hours.

 _She wasn't the same person who woke up from her comatose_.

Shaé is now the Shaé that I have always known. A sparkling, high-spirited woman that never fails to bring joy in people's lives; no matter how awful their day has been. Before I head back to my life on the road, I'll have to spend as much time as I could with this wonderful family that I have.

After learning first-hand how easily I could the people I love, I'm never going to let a moment with them go to waste; thinking about anything else. I need to learn to live in the present, learn to be grateful for the time I have with my loved ones.

* * *

 _03_ _rd_ _January 2013, Thursday – Phoenix, Arizona_

The last time we talked was 2 months ago, and we didn't leave things on a good note either. The only reason that I'm spending my time here is because of Bryan. He didn't exactly force me to meet Nicole but he did inform her of my whereabouts; which catalyze the rest of the events.

 _Yes_ , Nicole actually came to Shaé's doorstep to invite me for lunch. While it seemed like a nice gesture, I know precisely why she resorted to that. She has been sending me text messages that goes unread and I ignored or rejected all of her phone calls as well. Getting sick of her bothering me, I blocked her from my contact a week ago.

I'm still mad at her. The things she said about my direction towards acting being ' _stupid_ ', I can't sit still and snub it. She thinks she knows everything there is to know and that self-righteousness of hers, it gets on my nerves. Bryan may have a higher tolerance for it, but I don't. Frankly, I don't even have to tolerate it – at least not until I go back to work and so does the twins.

If it wasn't for Shaé insisting for me to settle this, _once and for all_ , I wouldn't be here. Sitting across Nicole with an Italian Soda in my hand, my sight focusing elsewhere instead of her since we arrived. We didn't even speak much, but Nicole had voluntarily chosen one of the best Italian restaurant in Phoenix.

I didn't order my favorite ' _Italian Combo_ ' here at DeFalco's, because I don't think I'd want to stay here any longer than 30 minutes. Thankfully it took us lesser to drove here, at approximately 20 minutes.

"How have your break been?" I place my glass back on the table, then face her.

"Do you really want to know or are you going to talk trash about how I spent my holiday?"

Nicole stay mum for a while. She knows she deserves it, and as much as I want to give her less of a hard time to settle this; _I just can't_. I don't know if anything could help take back the words she said. Since that very day, I don't feel comfortable talking to her… Sharing with her, or telling her anything at all.

Knowing how brutally honest she can be, towards something that I'm earnestly drawn to besides wrestling, is upsetting. Who knows, what else Nicole can spat out of nowhere; if not to me, it could be to someone else – _about me_. I thought I've had to deal with enough negativity in my life, but apparently not.

"I, I genuinely want to apologize Ria." She stuttered at first, but got her words out. "I'm sorry for disrespecting your decision. It's true, it's your life and I shouldn't have said what I said."

I continue listening, this time, being attentive by looking intently at her. Now that she has caught my attention, I expect her to not screw this up. If not, the past hour has been nothing but a waste of my time.

"What I wanted to say was, I'm concern that you'll be on your own in a world that you're unfamiliar with. Bryan wouldn't be there, or me, or Brie. I just, don't want you to be a newbie and alone. What if you get bullied or—"

Before she goes on, I raise my hand up for her to stop. I'm indeed dumbfounded to the words that I'm hearing from her now because, what I heard previously was awful. What Nicole is saying now, is definitely a 360o plot twist that I find a little humorous.

"What?"

Without saying a word, I then chuckled softly. It's hard to believe that Nicole was actually concern about me that she had to constrain my career choices. Looking back at her, she looks just as puzzled as I was before; when I heard her apology.

"So you're basically ' _mumming_ ' me, but in a rude way." I pointed out. "Well, you should stop because you're not my mum. You're my friend and as much as I'd still want to kick your ass for what you said, it's nice to know why you said it."

Nicole smile grows wider, as I continued. She then gets up from her seat instantaneously to give me a tight hug. Not being too fond of public affection, I froze in her hold. My head tilting down, hoping no one is seeing Nicole pulling me in one of the tightest embrace. Sighing, I really am trying to stop myself from putting her in a headlock but this woman isn't helping herself.

"Nicole, please stop." I croaked, with her arms still restricting me from moving. "Can't breathe."

"Right! Sorry! But, I've missed you okay. It sucks to not talk to you, so you better unblock me kid."

I could only grin widely, showing no remorse of blocking her. She was calling me non-stop when I wanted and needed some space from being angered. The way Nicole treated me was a reminiscent of my teenage years. It was a heartbreaking incident which I don't think I could ever get over of.

To think about it now, it must have been the partial reason why I'm infuriated with Nicole. There's just something about people restricting me from,

"So who is the lucky cast that gets to be with you?" She chimed in, interrupting my walk down memory lane.

"Oh, it's an MTV show. I doubt you'd watch it."

"Are you kidding? I will now that your pretty ass is in the show." Nicole keened. "What is it?"

After much persuasion, which involves tugging on my hand and taking awkward pictures of me and posting on Instagram, I gave in. It's simply telling her the two words, ' _Teen Wolf_ '. Her expression subsequent to my revelation and as expected, she was clueless.

Not once have she heard of the show, which doesn't come as a surprise to me. She is a woman of a certain age and the last thing she'd do is join me binge-watching at home. Seriously, Nicole doesn't enjoy hiking or binge-watching as much as I do. God knows, what even kept us together to begin with…

"Well, you better tune in to Total Divas too… Cause, your favorite twins are on."

Nicole sang which I rolled my eyes to, playfully. I do love her but she gets overboard… And then I finally thought,

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE BACK IN WWE?!"

My intention to squeak softly failed miserably. Instead my voice came out as an exclaim, out of joy. It's not only my happiness that I thought of; but Bryan's. He will definitely not be alone once I'm on double duty, as soon as filming begins.

With a huge grin plastered to her face, Nicole nods in response before raising her glass. She reckoned that we rejoice in this occasion, welcoming new beginnings of a new year.

"Here's a toast to us for getting ourselves out there and embarrassing the hell out of ourselves."

"And for me being an aunt!"

I quickly added to her toast, before we clinked glasses. I took a step back and I breathe for once, after a long time being with WWE.

Then I realized, _this is exactly what I want_.


	9. Work Bitch

**A/N: Omg, guys... Thank goodness, Rollins is only gonna be out for weeks and no surgery required. I can't bear to see him miss another Wrestlemania :"(**

 **Anyway, here's a continuation of Zariah Carmine's life.**

 **This one inspired by Britney Spear's Work Bitch cause... It really did get my ass working on this chapter. Even though it's quite a short one :")**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _12_ _th_ _August 2013, Monday – Sacramento, California_

It's hard to believe that a year ago, I was overthinking of my future with this company. Troubled isn't enough of a word to describe my state of mind last year. Even when I was having a day off from work, spending time with my baby Stefan, I was thinking about my position here.

Although now, I'm still in the position of being a referee; a lot have change in my life – outside of this company. I'm not only a WWE Diva – as they choose to call us females, but an actress. A werecoyote in an MTV series Teen Wolf.

 _How did I even end up here?_

As usual, I'm almost late but _never_ late. Running into the arena have become a routine for me ever since filming begin back in late July, which was only 2 weeks ago. Hence, my existing struggle to get used to juggle my schedule – all on my own. I don't have no manager to help me or publicist at all. I don't feel the need to have them, I can handle all negotiations and scheduling from the very start – with the help of two very smart and responsible adults of course; Shaé and Reed.

Now, I still believe that I can control everything. I just need some time to get used working as an actress as well as an on-screen personnel in WWE. _Everything is perfectly under my control_ , I remind myself as I dash past my cousin.

"ZARIAH!" Bryan called me out, stopping me in my tracks – _very hesitantly_. "You're late again?"

"Hey, I'm not late okay? Look at the time… It's only an hour and a half away before show starts."

"That was an hour ago."

He corrected me almost immediately. I rolled my eyes at his constant need to be right. If I didn't know any better, it feels like I'm speaking to a woman. A very much demanding, know-it-all which I don't mind having in my life most of time, just _not_ right now.

"Bryan, now you're going to make me late." I retorted, eager to run towards the locker room after this.

"Shaé called. Lots of time, call her back Ria. She's worried about you."

 _Tell me something I don't know_ … I have been trying to call her back but it went to voicemail. While on set, I was too busy observing everyone. Either that or I'd be rushing back and forth to the make-up trailer and back on set for my scene with Dylan. Seeing how many takes is required for just one short scene is dreadful… It's poles apart from live television or even event.

One scene alone took more than half an hour, just because of the angles and lighting. Everything needs to be filmed to perfection cost the entire production a whole lot of time. Unlike with WWE, what's said and done is definitely out in the open already. Just because it's live, unlike on SmackDown. Some parts can still be edited but these days, anyone can spread it online with their own captured recording or pictures.

Which then leads me to this moment again…

"Okay, I will. I'm leaving!" I whined before turning to scurry and change into my referee attire.

"Hey wait!" With clenched fists this time, I turn back to Bryan. "You have to be out for two matches later on."

I sigh at the news. _Two matches_ … Fingers crossed, it won't be two lengthy matches especially on this 3-hour show. If possible, I'd want to officiate 1 match which lasts 6 minutes' tops. It's tiring and at my current state right now, all I need to have a bit of tea and sit around backstage to rest.

"Alright, thanks!" I replied hastily, desperately wanting to change right now.

"One more thing, Ria!"

"WHAT?!"

I cried aloud to Bryan backstage. Time is ticking and I can't wait to go change so that I can figure out the matches I'll be out for tonight. Then meet the wrestlers to discuss their game plan and I'd be out there working my butt off.

"You have a little salad in your hair…"

Bryan pointed at my fringe, with my hair in a total mess. It was supposed to be in a messy bun, but this is messier than it should be. Since I am still in a rush, I didn't even bother fixing it after waking up from the plane and taking a cab straight here.

Touching my hair aimlessly, in search for the piece of salad, I'm secretly hoping my cousin is kidding. This is one time I am praying for him to joke around with me. Even so, I'd definitely want to kill him still for wasting my time. _Please don't be there, please don't be there_.

"Yeah, right there."

He added before I feel it. It is right in the middle of my unkempt fringe… _Bloody hell, and no one bothered to tell me that before_. Not the taxi driver or the stewardess. There I was, waking up blurrily from my nap – with my face in the salad – and no one informed me of my disordered state.

Without saying another word due to embarrassment, I walk hastily searching for the female locker room now. Tossing the salad into the trash, I find my way at the sight of AJ walking out from the room. Running right past her successfully, I finally rushed to get changed in my black and white attire as a referee.

* * *

 _20_ _th_ _August 2013, Tuesday – Bakersfield, California_

I stare into space, remain dazed for a moment as I linger backstage. It has been a hell of a schedule… I can't believe this has only been 3 weeks and I'm already drained. My entire body is overcome with exhaustion from the constant travelling as well as minimal rest days. As much as I'd like to find the time to move my things back to Long Beach, I don't have any.

All I'm left to do was move my things from Phoenix back to Long Beach, but on my rest days… _I just want to freaking rest_. Lay in my queen sized bed, dressed in my pajamas and do nothing – not even shower. So basically, I'm a proud lazy ass who orders take out and rot at home, being a couch potato; if not working 24/7.

Sighing, my mind recall of Bryan's advice last night.

 *** * * FLASHBACK * * ***

"Have you eaten today?"

I shook my head in response, with eyes close. I was too worn-out to answer him, and plan to take a nap throughout the ride to Bakersfield. It's a 2-hour journey from Anaheim and I'm more than eager to get any amount of shut-eye I can get.

Seeing how Bryan wasn't used for the show today, it's clear as to why he's the one to drive us to the next city. I officiated 2 matches tonight, the women's match which lasts for 2 minutes and The Shield's handicapped match against Big show. Even though I spent a total of 6 minutes on-screen, the game plan and discussion we had prior to the matches contributed to my mental fatigue.

My mind could no longer think further than getting myself into bed once we reach Bakersfield.

"Ria, aren't you hungry?" I grunted, leaving Bryan unsure of what I'm saying. "We'll get something to eat before heading to the hotel."

It wasn't even a question, I think. But next thing I know, I have a cube of ice in my shirt which leaves me yelping due to its chilliness. As Bryan laughs at my reaction, I unbuckled my seat belt and chase him on the parking lot and into an empty In-N-Out Burger. Annoyed by his insistence for me to eat something, I urge for him to buy me anything that I'd like. Meanwhile, I take another nap on the table of the fast food restaurant.

"Come on, wake up sleeping beauty. Eat up."

I groan at the number of times Bryan disturbed me from my sleep tonight. All I wanted was some peace and quiet throughout the 2-hour ride, not a pit stop or being laughed at after a silly prank. Although rubbing my eyes and trying my best to stay awake now, I realized how concern Bryan is of me.

The fact that Bryan had brought me here, out of anywhere else in Bakersfield, he really wants me to fill up my stomach. Besides a late brunch, I hadn't eaten anything today. So technically, I can't blame Bryan for worrying about me.

"Why don't you get a manager?" He suggested. "It'll cut you some slack, especially with your double duty."

I take another bite of the cheeseburger in silence. My mind trying to process Bryan's idea of getting myself a manager… _Hmmm, where can I find a reliable person?_ I don't even have the time to do much currently, now I have to find a diamond in the rough to entrust of my career decisions. While Bryan is right about cutting myself some slack since I've got works to do, I wonder if I could trust anyone enough to take the role.

"I don't have the time to find one."

"You could always ask Reed and Shaé's help." Bryan egged on. "I don't want to see you this tired every time. What if I'm not here? Who will you drive with? You could get into an accident if you were to drive yourself."

Bryan went on and on, about my safety while travelling. Unbeknownst to him, I do have other friends in the roster. It includes Victoria, AJ, Naomi and Colby whom will gladly let me drive with them; or in other words, let me sleep while they drive us the entire time. Shaking my head vaguely, I continue listening to my cousin as he nags on and on.

 *** * * END OF FLASHBACK * * ***

"BOO!"

A screech came out of my mouth, reacting to the scare. I remain seated but with my hand pressed to my chest, checking to see if my heart is still beating at a normal pace. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat and it's all because of,

"COLBY! YOU IDIOT!"

I yelled, before shoving him away. I let a sigh of relief from the fright that he gave me. Out of the blue, while my mind is wandering elsewhere; Colby had to bring me back to reality. The place where I'm back to think of a solution to solve my constant fatigue.

Grabbing a chair nearby, the 27-year-old joins me to sit at the empty table. He continues cackling, amused by how he managed to get me every single time. This have been a habit of his, ever since we were training together in FCW. I was too engrossed in my training in the early hours one day, unaware that he has been keeping an eye on me for the whole 5 minutes.

God knows what could have made him last that long... If I hadn't turn around and finally pay a little attention to my surroundings, I wouldn't have noticed Colby; leaning against wall at the corner of the room with arms crossed and a grin plastered on his face. I was startled just by the sight of him. Since then, the man never fails to bring horror to my life whenever he's around.

"I really hate you, just so you know." I added, rolling my eyes at him.

"No, you don't." Colby retorted, confidently. "In fact, you love me just as much as I love you. And I'll love you a lot more if only you'd bother to spend some time working out with me."

My gaze then turns to meet his deep brown orbs, after his admirable sweet-talking. I can't believe the words that rolled off his tongue. Colby made it so simple to get me to unwind from being mad at him. I guess, another reason as to how easily he could do this is because how I don't get to spend much time with him.

While before the distance prevents us from meeting often, it's now my schedule that becomes a burden to our friendship. I'd like to see Colby around outside of work, and not simply interact with him as Seth Rollins on the show. Seth Rollins is an arrogant and devious wrestler while my best friend, is as humble as he could be and someone who wouldn't get in my face like Seth did – last night.

"Come on Z, just like old times." Colby carries on persuading me. "How about tomorrow?"

"Fine." I gave in. "What time?"


	10. Take Care

**A/N: I know I haven't been saying this much but thanks to the readers and also the ones who care to review STOL! Much appreciated :")**

 **Drake's Take Care is the inspiration behind this chapter.**

 **By far, my favorite chapter of STOL... I hope you enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

 **P.S: I may be using '* * *' to signify a new scene since the line doesn't work! Sorry about that :(**

* * *

 _23_ _rd_ _August 2013, Friday – Fresno, California_

As promised, I'm up early at 5 in the morning to meet Colby again. Since I've gotten some time off from Teen Wolf, I'm determined to stick by the plan of training with Colby – just as we used to a couple of years back. That is until I kind of slack away from the CrossFit lifestyle that he has chosen to live by, dedicatedly. Each day back in Orlando – before Colby was aware of CrossFit, we'd start the day with a jog before going full hours straight of working out.

Thinking back of old times, I recalled as to how Colby used to be the early bird. Now, I seemed to be the one waiting for him and as I stand in front of New Era CrossFit. I've gone a couple of rounds around the area yet he has yet to arrive after being nearly half an hour late – _just like the past 2 days_.

I sigh loudly and enter the empty gym, starting on the workout that I've set for myself today. Juggling with two careers now, it can be draining at times – _okay, who am I kidding?_

I'm drained almost every day, travelling back and forth to live events and California for filming. Also, not forgetting to hit the gym five days a week. However, there's nothing that a good night sleep or a cup of tea or even a long hot shower can't fix.

Although, I'd love to have some time to myself. Just to be all alone and do something to unwind. _Gosh, it has been a while since I hiked though._ That's usually it. I'd hike whenever I have any little bit of free time, to get my mind off things and break a little sweat while enjoying the beauty of nature.

"HEY!" Colby gave me a scare, appearing from behind. "Sorry,"

"You idiot!"

I take a quick second to push him away, annoyed at him for the scare. He happily strides in here, expecting me to accept the apology he's willing to give after making me wait. _Doesn't he know how precious time is?_ Moving on to sit-ups, I ignore his apology and walk away from Colby.

"I'm sorry! Takes a little more time to look this good, okay."

Rolling my eyes at his excuse and cockiness, I pay attention back to my workout. _10 more sit-ups to go_ , I tell myself after doing 5. Colby then joins me, after placing his things aside and had his workout of the day written on the board. It's right next to mine, I noticed as I move on to do 10 Goblet squats with a 35 kettlebell.

"If you're late next time, better believe I'll leave you on your own."

"Come on, Z. You can't be serious."

I turn to him – who's doing pull ups, with a stern expression to prove my seriousness. It's inexcusable for him to be late each time we meet. I need to spend my time wisely from now onwards. I could still be dozed off in bed at this timing yet here I am. I even wasted half an hour just lingering around, when I could have had an extra 20 minutes in bed.

Instead I'm wide awake at 5am sharp and working my butt off, to maintain my fitness. _As if I was the Divas' Champion_ , I muttered to myself. It's insane that years have gone by; yet my hard work never seemed to be noticed by _anyone_ significant in the WWE.

Being a Divas' champion is something I aspire to be. Despite not being a fan of the term Diva, I still want to be remembered as a champion in the history books of the company. I know that WWE have been portraying a diva as a female wrestler that is not only sexy but smart and tough, but that doesn't cut it for me.

I'm in favor of the Women's Championship; just like the one in NXT.

To be known as a Women's champion too, besides being a Divas champion. Because that's not who I am. That word goes against whatever I'm not intending to do while working in this company. A photoshoot, to revamp my move set to suit being a diva wrestler and even be _anyone's_ eye candy in a storyline.

I may have worked with it for a couple of months when I was first called up to the main roster but not anymore. I'm not going to linger around as a referee any longer, if they're not going to come up with plans for me. Hence why I resorted to kick-start my acting career.

"Z, hey. What's wrong?" He asked, before continuing with GHD sit-ups.

"I'm just mad alright?" I drop the barbell to the ground. "And I feel like I need to let off some steam."

I walk away to catch my breath, moving on to burpees. A couple of people are now entering the gym and I'm trying my best to keep a low profile. It's easier for me since I've yet to make my television debut and I'm merely a referee in a huge sports entertainment company. So basically, I'm not a big deal in comparison to Mr. Seth Rollins... ⅓ of The Shield.

Sighing again, I take a short break after completing 8 burpees. To cool off, I walk towards my bottle and gulp on what's left of it. I remain standing there, watching Colby as he finishes his push-ups and grabbing his own bottle to drink. He makes his way towards me but I don't intend to stay. Placing the bottle back down, I dodge from having to talk to him again and perform 5 toes to bar.

* * *

For an entire hour, Colby and I didn't say a word to each other. At least not until I pick my things up to leave and I turn around to stand face-to-face to him. There he is with his duo colored hair and raised eyebrows, standing tall and straight to show concern of whatever that's bothering me. This is Colby's way of telling me that he wants to know. He always does, even when we're on the phone. It's like he could see and hear right through me, sensing my every emotion easily.

"Look, I've been busy lately and I've not seen or spend time with a lot of people. To start with, I don't even have a lot of people that I'd want to be with. I just want to see Shaé and Stefan and travel with Bryan again..."

Colby then clears his throat, whistling soon after as he glances around the gym. Clearly, expecting me to tell him how much I've missed him too since I've been living the double career life.

Giving him a soft jab to the shoulder, Colby backs away as he chuckles.

"I'm spending time with you right now am I?"

"Yeah, and spent 90% of the time sulking and fuming at me."

He shakes his head at me before getting his own things. I watch him do so, waiting to give him another nudge to his ribs. Once Colby turns back to face me, I jump up slightly to put him in a headlock instead.

"Hey, you were late! And you still have time to be cocky about it."

I maintain the tension of my hold, as I reminded him of my reason being mad at him. Colby tries to make me let go but I tighten the hold each time he attempted to do so.

"I'm sorry again for being late..." He begins, eventually giving up to be released. "I've been tired too, travelling around, you know."

At the reminder as to how he is in the biggest faction WWE has had in a while and have been included in most live events and TV shows, I loosen my hold on his head. Realizing so, Colby takes the chance to carry my weight – lifting me off the ground. Instantly, I let out a yelp before hugging his head tighter to my chest.

"I'll put you down if you let me go!"

I managed to hear him yell out, despite facing down and having my arms covering a part of his mouth. Without saying anything though, I waited to be let down by Colby. It has been a while since I've been lifted off by anyone – especially in wrestling. Finally having both feet touch the ground, I release my headlock from him and backs away.

Heaving a sigh, I look back at him – hoping to continue with our conversation.

"I get you, by the way. I really do, especially working at most live events when I just started, it's crazy I tell you. Lesser time home and I spent little time with my family, whenever I'm home though I try to fit in as much time as I could. At least one entire day with them, just being home and chill."

He told me as we make our way out from New Era CrossFit. I listened, wondering why I hadn't heard him complain or let alone tell me about this. I know that they have been getting such great reaction by the fans that it made WWE to make them present in most events but, I thought Colby was doing fine.

"You never told me about this C…" I responded softly, then bit on my bottom lip.

"I just got too tired to complain to you about it and now, I'm just used to it, I guess."

I turn to take a glimpse of him, as we walk back to his rental car. I didn't know how Colby struggled with it too. At that time when he was called up to the main roster, I was too caught up with my own matters. What with Shaé's recovery after Raé's birth and launching my acting career.

Both of us have been somewhat distant yet here we are, talking as though not a day went by when we've been apart for quite some time. It feels pretty much the same but this time, I'm the one to complain unlike Colby. Now, he's in a better spot than he was in FCW and I couldn't be gladder for him. He deserves it after being in developmental longer than he should.

"Give it a couple more months, you'll settle in with the lifestyle." He continued, as we're drawing nearer to his rental car. "Trust me, you'll be alright. I've been through it but not exactly the same one, but similar enough."

"Anymore to add on?"

I blurted out before chuckling as he shakes his head. If he wants to, Colby could continue babbling till the sun sets. He's the only one capable of making me laugh, with how he'd say anything and _everything_ to make sure I'll finally be fine. Although not everything he said makes me feel better, I'd take it as a form of advice that I'm learning from – coming from an independent wrestler.

 _Get used to it_ , I sigh. It seemed as though I'd be missing the people that I love a lot for the sake of my careers. Feeling slightly lightheaded, I walk over to the passenger side of the car on my own as Colby gets in the driver seat.

Everything appears and feels as though it's spinning. While I wanted to have something to hold on to, I know deep down it's just my mind. It's merely a kind of fatigue that I've been dealing with recently.

Like I've always said, there's nothing a short nap can't fix.

This time though, I didn't even have time to reach to the door before I fall down to the ground.

 *** * *** Throughout the entire ride back to the hotel, I remained silent and so did Colby. Both of us hadn't say a word since we left the clinic. For my case, I was embarrassed. I thought that by putting on some waterproof make up and applying a tinted lip balm would cover up the fact that I'm tired. I thought feeling tired was just _it_.

Fainting and taking a trip to Clovis Urgent Care wasn't how I expect my morning would be.

I don't know why Colby have been silent though. He wasn't this silent when the doctor was checking on me and my condition. We may have argued a little but that was merely a little dispute. I don't get why he'd be too upset with it, but still willing to send me back to my room and tuck me in bed.

"Look, you don't have to do this, okay? I got it."

I bluntly told him, as he places a glass of water and the medication provided on the bedside table. If he isn't brave enough to break the silence, I'm doing so – _and I did_.

He then sits at the side of my bed, with a blank expression still. His expression keeping me in wonder, _what is running through his mind?_

"No you don't. Z, you wore make up for goodness sake to hide from being sick. You need a break, and this is how you take a break. By letting people help you, okay. Just let me help you."

"I don't need your help, _or anyone else's_."

Annoyed at the thought of being helpless and weak alone, I don't need Colby to insist how I need someone to look after me. I'm not the child who lose her parents when she was less than a year old any longer. _I'm a grown up now_... A 23-year-old who's more than capable of handling her own life.

"Could you just stop being stubborn right now and just care for your own health and recovering? It's for your own good."

"Colby, I don't need this right now. I'm swamped with work which needs to be done A-SAP and I can't afford to just rest and do nothing." I pull the covers away. "I need to get going,"

Cutting my rant short and preventing me from getting out of bed, Colby moves forward to plant a kiss on my lips. His hand cups the side of my face as his lips pressed on mine. I keep my eyes shut till Colby pulls away.

The fleeting moment leaving me stunned.

My eyes refuse to gaze back to Colby, feeling uneasy of what had occur. _He has a girlfriend, for fuck's sake_. I can't help but use profanity to emphasize the point. I even know her and Leighla have been nothing but nice to me.

 _What just happened here?_

"I ordered some food for you."

Colby takes his turn to break the silence, rubbing the back of his neck. He then gets up from the bed, taking careful steps backwards as he heads for the door. Clearly we're both a little shaken by what had taken place; _even when he's the one to initiate it_.

"Please just stay in bed and rest for the day. Don't forget to inform Carrano that you're unwell to work today too, the ring is not the place for you to be in..." My eyes darted to him swiftly. " _Only_ for today."

Colby added almost immediately, once he saw my gaze at him. At least he did try to correct himself – after unthinkingly constructing his sentence in this situation, making me less angry for what he said. If he ever dares for a second to think that I don't belong in that very ring, he doesn't know me as well as I thought he does.

I don't need another man in my life to tell me what I can't – _or can_ – do. _It's enough_ , I've had enough of people not allowing me to live _my_ life and be happy to support me.

He stands inches close to the door, observing me for a short minute. In my frenzied state, my eyes look away. I choose to keep my eyes glued to the ground instead. Without waiting for any verbal response, he left the room.

Colby may have walked out of this room and the kiss was over, but I'm not over it. I don't even want to walk away from this matter because... _I can't let it happen again, or ever._ To be honest, I don't want that to lead to something else, more than ever.

Not Colby's breakup with Leighla or even the end of my friendship with him. No matter how annoyed I am with him, I still do very much like having him around. He's the best friend that I could never find in someone else. Not Victoria, not Nicole or Brie, certainly not anyone else that I'll meet in my run as an actress.

 _Colby is one of a kind._

No one could ever replace him in my life. Because I know that no one could ever match to how supportive he is of me, his concern of my health, progress and mind-set about wrestling and reminds me of how much passion I have for this business. He's that one person who I look up to and drives me to crave for more accomplishments that I could go for in this company.

For that, I can never be thankful enough to have met and know him personally. Just that, I don't want to get _too_ personal with this guy. And I can only hope I'd be courageous enough to face him again to talk about all of that as soon as possible.

* * *

"What did I tell you?"

I sigh, burying my head in the pillow to ignore the noise. I most definitely regret my decision to open the door, less than a minute ago. As soon as he saw my face, Bryan just goes on and on about how he rushed here hastily when Colby told him about the incident earlier.

Although, I do wonder… _Had C told him the whole incident or just the one where I fainted?_ Before Bryan may – _or may not_ – question me about the kiss, I remain silent... _Or not_ , as I groan loudly for him to stop nagging at me like Shaé used to. That was ages ago and she only nagged because I wouldn't take a day off from lacrosse practice...

 _Shit_ , I then realized how it's for the same damn thing. _Have I always been this stubborn?_

"Are you listening to me Zariah Carmine?"

Bryan asked firmly, which make my eyes dart to him immediately. With mouth slightly opened, I only nod to him with nothing being articulated. All of a sudden, my mind went back to Colby.

 _He was right_ … I am stubborn.

"Zariah, it's okay to be benched for one day. You need more rest and you know it." Bryan sits by my side, on the bed. "Don't push yourself too far, this is new to you and you'll need time to adapt to it. You can't simply force yourself and your body, especially to handle it with no sweat."

He then places the palm of his hand against my forehead, checking if I were to have fever. I remain silent though I frown upon his overly-concerned self for me.

"It's just fatigue, Bryan." I wailed, pulling his hand away.

"I'm just checking on you. Shaé have been worried sick and you're giving her a reason to be. Could you please listen to my advice for once and get someone to help you out?"

Heaving a soft sigh, this time I really am considering it. The last time Bryan mentioned this, I was reluctant. I thought I could go through it all on my own, until now. I realized how much nagging I'll be getting if I continue to be selfish and headstrong about running my very own one-woman-show.

It's not possible, _obviously_.

"Fine." I simply replied, accepting his suggestion seriously now.

"Good. And... It's never too late to say I told you so, right?"

Instinctively, I nudge his ribs and continue eating the plate of Fajitas Salad with Grilled Steak Colby ordered for me. While Mexican isn't my favorite – especially not on a cheat day, I realized how he had done so to make sure I get enough nutrients. He also ordered a typical salad to make sure I get to consume my daily choice of meal.

"Oh, and I brought a smoothie for you. You're welcome by the way."

I smile as Bryan hands me over the drink in hand. After much nagging, at least he bought me a smoothie to enjoy with my food. I haven't had the time to get one earlier on, due to Colby driving us back straight to the hotel from the clinic.

"Tha—" I was reaching out for it when Bryan pull it back.

"But," My eyes shifts up to look at him pointedly. "Promise me you'll tell Carrano that you need a day off."

Sighing, I can't believe how many times people would bug me about this. _I'm sick, I get it_. I need to stay away from work for a day, I get that too. Although disappointed and frustrated, I know all too well that both Bryan and Colby would meet Carrano straightaway if they were to see me anywhere backstage later on.

Instead of responding to Bryan verbally, I turn to the side table to get my phone. I dial Carrano's number silently while Bryan watches me, in curiosity.

"Hi, Carrano. It's Zariah here." I paused, listening to his response. "I won't be able to make it for work today."

Bryan was mouthing something which I couldn't make out. I stare at him, distracted while I'm still on the line with Carrano.

"I'm not feeling too well."

I added, realizing he hasn't spoken a word on the other line. Once I disclose so, I bit my bottom lip as Carrano question more on my condition. Before eventually ending the call – unlike Bryan and Colby, he actually wishes for me to get well soon.

Once I place my phone aside, I then slap Bryan's lap. I've wanted to do that earlier on though it wouldn't be appropriate since I'm on the phone with one of the management personnel. He has been such a mom, nagging at me then lecturing before saying ' _I told you so_ ' – just to prove he was right all along.

"OUCH!" He yelped, jumping slightly at the strike. "What was that for?!"

"Give me the smoothie and you'll be safe."

Without saying more Bryan hands it over and I gleefully slurp on it once I have it in my hands. He stayed a little longer to keep an eye on me before preparing to drive to the arena. Passing the medical certificate to Bryan, I entrust him to pass it over to Carrano later on. Before leaving with the piece of paper, he placed a kiss on my forehead and promised to fetch me later on.

I sigh, watching him leave the room and head over to work. As for me, I remain in bed with food that I don't normally consume and fell asleep soon after – due to boredom.

* * *

 _25_ _th_ _August 2013, Sunday – Ontario, California_

"I'm sorry."

There's silence soon after. Literally, none of us spoke for nearly a minute. I'm not even sure if Shaé is still there on the other line, or should I say more? On the other hand, I have no idea what to say.

"Shaé, you there?" I asked, after apologizing immediately once my call was answered. "Please say something."

My anxiety is growing as each second passes by. I'm sure I deserve this but, Shaé couldn't stay mad at me forever… _Could she?_ She's my sister. The only one who knows how I truly am when I'm committed to something. I lose track of time and may even neglected some of the people I love; though it's unintentionally.

 _Shaé have to know that._

"Are you feeling better?" I smile widely at the sound of the voice.

"Yeah." I blurted out, relieved that the silent treatment has ended. "I didn't want you to worry about that."

"But I was, and I still am."

Her stern voice though managed to wipe the smile off my face quickly. Instead, I press my lips together due to the guilt. For nearly 2 weeks, I have yet to return Shaé a call or text due to my fatigue and work. Either I was too occupied at work or I fell asleep anywhere and anytime I could.

I can't help it. My body is still trying to get used to my new lifestyle and, I'm trying my best to not faint ever again. Sighing, I finally realized that I should have listened to Bryan. While I hate it for him to be right all the time, he couldn't be more spot-on this time.

 _I need help._

"Ria, do you have any idea how worried sick I am of you? It kills me not to know how you're doing. And for two weeks, I haven't heard from you. I don't like that Zariah Amrie Carmine; so don't you even think you can pull that same stunt by going MIA again."

"Okay, okay… I said I'm sorry, and I really mean it."

It's not every day I'd hear Shaé or Bryan call me out by my full name. That's only when I screwed up big time, and I guess… _This is one of the times._ I did faint and if it wasn't for Colby, I wouldn't know what would or could have happened to me.

 _Colby_ …

"Apology accepted." Shaé voiced. "I know how hard you've been working Ria; I'm only nagging because I love you. You do know that right?"

I chuckled before nodding my head in response. I lean back against the seat of the car, smiling weakly. Thankfully Shaé cut my thoughts short before I could recall how exactly Colby's lips felt against mine. The lingering thoughts he left for me to ponder even after days… _It's unreal_.

"Shaé, I need to ask you something?" I paused, changing my mind almost immediately. "A favor, actually."

My hands are quivering as I think of the right ways to form the sentence. This is a huge deal and I'm doing this, _hoping_ , that Shaé will understand where I'm coming from. It's not that I want to add more to her plate of being a mum for two beautiful angels and also my personal seamstress but…

"I'm wondering if you'd like to be my PA… With Reed, if it's not too much for you."

The only reason why Shaé is the first person I thought of is because I trust her. I believe in her and she have the skills required to do this job. She owned a boutique once, after working her way up from the bottom. My sister is not only talented but she's business-minded. She knows her ropes within the fashion industry but quit to dedicate her time fully as a mother.

Being my PA would be little, in comparison to running a boutique. So, I'm hoping with fingers crossed that Shaé would accept this proposal which I have sugar coated; making it seemed like a favor.

"Hmmm…" She began, but no coherent word was said. "I'll have to think about it honey."

"Sure, I mean, I don't expect you to answer it now."

I admitted, finally realizing how unrealistic it'd be for Shaé to accept the offer straight away. She still has to care for two of her kids, and her husband then there's me.

Even when I'm 23 years old, I still need my sister to be involved with my career. Sighing, I just wish I wouldn't be such a burden to her for long. As soon as I get back on both feet, or get myself another PA, Shaé no longer have to be bothered working with me.

All she has to worry about is being my sister, full time.

"And Shaé?" I added, before we end the call. "I do have something else to ask you…"

"I hope it's not another favor..." She joked. "Ask away."

"Okay, so basically, hypothetically, if a friend were to kiss her other close friend would it be weird? Especially when they have never spoken about anything beyond being friends, ever."

I remain silent after that, still uneasy to think about the kiss. It has been bothering me ever since Colby pulled back then left me, dumbfounded. Shaé is somehow the first I've told about this. I figured, if I couldn't tell her specifically of what happened, I could at least get it off my chest and end the confusion it's giving me.

Like, what can I do next? Do I end my friendship with him which I cherish _a lot_? Or do I just continue to avoid him for the rest of my life? It's getting really hard, especially since he's now on the roster and we meet in the ring at least twice each week.

"It was just a kiss though right? Didn't escalate to anything more?" Shaé queried.

"No, nothing, just one kiss." I straighten my so-called narrative quickly, with much composure. "Nothing else happened."

"Well, I think that both of them needs to think things through. They have never talked about it before, which adds the awkwardness; I'm sure. So, it's best for them both to give each other some space and meet to talk when they're ready."

 _So, avoiding Colby is the way to go?_

I'd never thought I'd do exactly as what Shaé would say, before she even says it. It's a surprise but also a relief to know that I don't have to meet Colby soon. That's the thing, while I'd want to know why he kissed me… I also feel inadequate standing in front of him. Especially knowing how he actually does have a girlfriend back home, this is baffling.

 _Just when you thought you know your best friend a little better_ , I sigh softly.

"Ria, if you're thinking about a relationship right now, my advice is to keep your mind on your career and yourself. You need to be able to keep up with what you signed up for and make sure your reputation is in a good light. You wouldn't want to burn the bridges with anyone, especially WWE."

This time, I'm lost for words. There's nothing else to say until I meet the man himself. He's the one who have to do the explaining while I'll figure things out then. For now, Shaé is right. I have my careers to cope with and I have to be on top of my game.

That'll show WWE what I'm made of. A well-deserved future champion of the company, who can do it all – but modelling.

That's a huge ass _**no**_.

* * *

 _26_ _th_ _August 2013, Monday – Phoenix, Arizona_

After officiating two matches, I'm done for the night. One match alone has been quite draining, I can't imagine how I've been keeping up living as a referee for this long. In comparison to being a wrestler, I feel like referee puts in more effort in doing their job.

When I initially started, I only had to do one match which lasted 5 minutes' tops. But seeing the reaction and how much drama I stir with my officiating, the management have decided to place me in 2 matches after a month in the roster.

On the bright side, I do get to have more on-screen time than the rest of the women. Even though I didn't get to wrestle out there, the WWE universe still recognizes me. I'm the rebel in the business, the one who causes trouble every single time she's in the ring. That's what people are going to remember me as, _for now_.

Now changed in a tank top and black skinny jeans, I linger backstage in time to watch the main event. Joining Vic, my sights fell on Colby. Apparently, he's starting off in the gauntlet match with Bryan. Sitting next to her, I stay silent – seemingly engrossed in the match.

When in fact, I can't stop thinking about him… _and the kiss_.

I wanted to give him a call earlier but I don't even know how to start off the conversation. It's awkward what not with the kiss and for me to avoid him since it happened. Now, to suddenly want to see him again, it's odd.

 _It feels odd_.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt."

Vic winced, at Colby's expense. Snapping back to reality, I watch how Colby is seated at the turnbuckle, after being countered from the top suplex Colby intend to put Bryan in. I smiled and cheer for Bryan, pretending as though I had been paying attention all along.

But to think of Shaé's advise, I have to do this. I've taken more than enough time and space to think this through. He's in a relationship with Leighla, and I'm not going to be the one to ruin that for him. It's not what I do or even thought of doing… Leighla has been so nice to me; and Colby is my friend.

 _A dumb friend who kissed me, shit. Why did he have to do that?_

"Do what?" I turned to Vic as soon as she voiced out.

"Do what?"

I repeated after her, confused as to what she meant. She couldn't have heard me… I thought I was merely using my inner voice, _or did I not?_

"You said something… Right?" She checked, still adamant about hearing me a minute ago.

"I was saying, why does Ambrose have to do that?!"

Swiftly, I turn Vic's attention back to the main event. Looking back at the television, I realized how John had attacked Bryan from the back as soon as he pinned Colby. _Bless John and his lunatic alter ego_ , I sighed once Vic turns back to the television. Both of us worrying for Bryan as John continued his attack on my cousin, until he put John in his ' _Yes Lock_ '.

"SO CLOSE!" "COME ON!"

I yelled after Vic after the referee stopped the match. Clearly, it ended in a disqualification with Bryan winning it but at what cost? He's now beaten down by all members of The Shield. Bryan's on his own, taking the beating as the rest of the roster watched on – helplessly.

After putting Bryan in a triple powerbomb, my eyes gaze fixatedly on the man with two-toned hair. Biting on my bottom lip gently, I can't believe we'd end up like this. It's weird to think how different things were a year ago, or even 5 years ago when we first met.

Just an 18-year-old hanging around Ring of Honor before the event, Southern Navigation when someone bothered me. I did leave him sprawled before exiting the ring and uniting with Bryan. It wasn't until 2 years ago when we formed a friendship when we meet again at FCW. Certainly unfazed by how our first encounter went, Colby introduced himself properly and I took a chance on him.

I smile at the thought of how we've been the closest friends since then… _at least, up till last Friday._


	11. California

**A/N:** **Blink 182's California. That's it, I just shuffled my playlist and this came up so yeah.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _27_ _th_ _August 2013, Tuesday – Las Vegas, Nevada_

 _It's now or never_ , I tell myself as I pace around in my pair of Chuck Taylor's. Before driving back to California, I want to settle things with Colby right here, right now in Las Vegas. _This is unbelievable though…_ I'm lurking meters away from the parking lot. I don't even understand how I'm the embarrassed and nervous one in this situation. Colby is the one to put his lips on me.

 _HE. KISSED. ME._

I barely open my mouth for his tongue to… _Okay, that's not the point here._ I sigh as I continue waiting and keeping my eye on whoever is entering the parking lot. In an all-black outfit, it's easier to be out of majority's sight. For the past 7 minutes, I've seen lots of people leaving the building and driving their way back home or to the airport. Even John – better known as Dean Ambrose – have drove out of here. So, _where the hell is C?!_

"Waiting for somebody?"

For a second I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The sudden voice leaves me jumping out of fright, before turning around to find Colby. There he is, standing across me with his luggage and,

"Even when I'm not trying." He chuckled, shaking his head.

While he could still find the time to joke, I couldn't. My mind is once again in a race; with every word I had plan to say to him being flushed to God knows where. I'm now left frozen, speechless as if I hadn't mutter word for word of what I'm going to say since I woke up today.

People did say I was acting weird, but I didn't care. What I'm concern more of is my friendship with Colby… Nothing else matters as much as he does – even though I have to weigh on what he did.

"I'm sorry." "I'm sorry."

Our gaze meets as soon as we heard it. We apologized in unison, leaving us both astounded. I know superpowers, specifically telepathy, doesn't exist but what is this then? I wonder how coincidental is it that we were thinking to do the same thing.

Brushing off the minor incident, I focus on what's far more important. I've done a lot of thinking about us the last few days. The kiss,

"I'm sorry." Colby apologized again. "It was wrong for me to do that."

"Yeah, it is. It's a mistake." I added on, anxiously – after he took the words out of my mouth. "People make mistakes sometimes, so…"

As much as I'd love to not hear the silence any longer, I have no idea how the hell I'm going to continue the sentence. It's left hanging, and it still is as I fidget around with my hands while Colby look at me, blankly. For once, I couldn't touch on what he's thinking or feeling at all.

 _It feels weird… to not know._

"So… What mistake do you have to apologize for?" He questioned, maintaining his gaze on me.

"Well… You know, running away from you and stuff." I admitted, hesitantly. "I needed some time alone."

"I figured." Colby answered quickly. "Subtlety is not your strongest suit, by the way."

This time, I couldn't help but let out a soft chortle. I can't believe how easy it is; compared to how I imagined it to be. Clearly, I was out of my mind to think that Colby would cause more trouble like, telling Leighla about what happened or, kiss me again. I bit my bottom lip, pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind as he stands in front of me.

"And by the way, I'm not letting you off that easily." Crossing my arms, I remarked in all seriousness.

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"It means; you owe me a favor Lopez."

The corner of my lips curl up to show a smug grin at the man. For years, he taught me to be devious but only now I decide to play the card. Colby has never owed me a favor, not until now. Since we met, he has always been the one to have my back and I'd offer to repay him back some way – mostly with donuts or coffee.

Hopefully, one of these days, he'll be the one to straighten our friendship after the stunt he pulled. I can't even imagine how or when exactly will I be needing his favor but… fingers crossed, it wouldn't be that bad of a situation that I'd have to rely on him.

* * *

 _14_ _th_ _September 2013, Sunday –_ _Long Beach, California_

From the moment I opened the door, I already know today is going to be the best day ever. Not only do I have a day off to laze at home, but I get to do so with the people I love. By how I'm smiling from ear to ear as Stefan hugged my right leg, Shaé could already tell my excitement of having them over.

It's not every day I get to have guests around, since I don't even know much people in California. That's why I'd do all I can to accommodate Shaé's stay here with her kids. With Stefan watching the television to his favorite cartoon and Raé soundly asleep, Shaé and I relax at the patio with our glasses of homemade raspberry-orange smoothie. Thankfully, I hadn't been lazy enough last night to go grocery shopping so I had the chance to feed them something.

"I'm so glad you came… At least I wouldn't have to enjoy this view alone."

I clink my glass with Shaé's before taking a seat, and appreciate the view of the waterfront from my patio. It gives me a peace of mind, whenever I'm here. Just staring at the water and the blue sky, it's therapeutic for me.

"I do miss my sister, and so does my children. Stefan kept on bugging me about seeing you."

"You could have come see me when I was in Phoenix 2 weeks ago, Shaé."

"Yeah, for work. I don't want to let my son down, seeing you leave him after a few hours Ria."

Though I hate admitting so, Shaé is right. Every single time, my work requires me to move around so much that I couldn't even find the time to make new friends. Forget new friends, I'm struggling just to spend time with my family alone – and I have a pretty small family.

I stay silent as I sip on my drink, not knowing what else to say. It's been a tiring week, and all I want to do is shut up and rest till I have to fly off again tonight.

"And, I don't think I could just be your PA." She continued, leaving me stumped. "Reed and I talked, we don't think it's right."

In my head, I try to remain composed as I look to my front – avoiding Shaé's gaze. She's facing right at me but I'm too bummed to look at her. While I might not have seen the point of having a PA before, with more working piling up… I think it's best to have one. So, I wouldn't have to die alone juggling with the travelling and filming schedules.

 _It's insanity when both of it clashes._

"Ria… I'm sorry honey." Shaé takes my hand, after placing her glass down. "I just don't think you need only a PA, but you need an agent too. That's why the both of us suggest and agree to be your PA _and_ agent instead."

"What?"

Again, she leaves me stumped. This time, it's a good kind of bafflement at hearing her last sentence. Without saying more, I pull my sister in a tight hug. There's honestly not enough words in this world for me to thank her or be grateful for such an amazing sister that Shaé is.

"I can't believe this, thank you so much."

I'm in near tears, but not one drop of it touch my cheek. To hear the good news, I'm on cloud nine. My week is certainly ending well, and I'd be starting tomorrow in delight. I can't believe how much load of work is going to be off my shoulders from now onwards.

As a wrestler alone, I have it under control but now, it's a different thing. I'd finally have people that I trust fully to help me out with my acting career. From arranging my auditions, helping negotiating my acting contracts and planning my filming schedule.

"I just hope I won't regret this." Shaé whispered before pulling back. "So you better not make me regret this, okay honey?"

I could only chuckle in response.

"So have you dealt with your friend?"

She probed, out of nowhere. It yet again, leave me lost for words. _I thought I didn't tell her about it_ … Technically, I did but not specifically. At the mention of ' _friend_ ', Colby immediately crossed my mind. I could tell how we're distant ever since we talked in Vegas.

That wasn't the last time we talked or see each other, it's just different. We don't stick around each other as much, it's merely just us bumping into one another then that's it. We went separate ways, without planning to meet for lunch or workout or even driving to the next city together.

"How'd you know?"

"I raised you up, honey. I'll always know." She strokes my hair, with a small smile. "Who is it?"

"Colby… Seth Rollins. I don't know what to do, Shaé. We've been friends since forever and I just, I don't see him _that_ way."

If only I hadn't fainted, nothing would have changed. Colby and I would still be the closest of friends, where I can nag at him all I want or sulked as to how long he had to make me wait. I miss how he drives me mad whenever he comes around, frightening me or even starting petty arguments. He's that one friend that I'd trust with my life, but now everything has changed.

"Ria, you know him better than I do but we both know he's bad news. You've gone through so much as a student and a wrestler. I wouldn't want you to see one mistake bring your whole career down, when I know that you could do more."

My ears stay alert to everything that Shaé have to say. She's my sister. No one else knows me better than she does. In fact, I'm starting to think that she knows me better than I know myself.

"Honey, there's always going to be someone else for you. Forget about Colby and the one before him."

When Shaé mentioned about _him_ , my heart skips a beat. I remember how contented I was to read his perpetual text messages confessing how much he loved me while he was hundreds of miles away.

That was the one time, I was so sure that I was deeply infatuated with someone. The feelings I had for him was undeniable; except it's a shame how my first love come to an end.

Until now, the words still echo in my head leaving me numbed – after much pondering of how cold he was.

"No doubt, it's one tough job…" I shake my head, after sighing. "Especially since I'm working in the same company with both of them."

"Lucky for you, it's a huge company. You'll survive, stop being so melodramatic."

Shaé shakes her head vaguely as she chuckles, before I nudge her slightly. I can't believe how bizarre my life turns out. If only I hadn't got into a relationship with a wrestler before, I wouldn't be in such tough spot.

 _Note to self: Never date another wrestler_ _ **ever**_ _._

* * *

 **A/N: Okay guys, so any guesses who Zariah's ex is? ;)**


	12. Pressure

**A/N: Hey guys! So here's a chapter inspired by The 1975** **'s Pressure. The song really does help me give a peace of mind, every single time. Go give it a listen, if you haven't!**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

 **P.S: I may be using '* * *' to signify a new scene since the line doesn't work! Sorry about that :(**

* * *

 _06_ _th_ _March 2014, Thursday – Northridge, California_

After completing 4 rounds of push-ups, sit-ups and pull-ups, I move on to weight lifting. Keeping it lightweight, I aim to complete 3 reps of 20. I arrived 30 minutes ago with Tyler and Dylan Sprayberry to complete my work out of the day. With the two here with me, I ended up spending more time here than intended. All I want to do is get this done and over with, get a shower and go home.

"Do you work out every day Zariah?" Dylan asked, as he takes a break from pull-ups.

"Yup." I answered, halfway done with my first rep. "I don't do intense every day though."

Dylan chuckled as he lifts himself up, chin above the bar. Tyler is beside him, intensely focused on getting his last rep done before moving on to his next exercise.

"Damn, even when you're not technically wrestling?" He asked, before joining me to lift weights.

"Well, we gotta stay in shape 24/7 Posey." I sighed, getting up after completing my first rep.

"What? You haven't actually been in a match?" Dylan questioned. "You're not serious?"

Honestly, I'm just as baffled as he is. And to answer his question, I shrug my shoulders and lay down again to continue with my second rep.

The 15-year-old then expressed how incredulous it is for me not to be in a match before. Ever since I joined the cast, I've gotten along well with most of them; especially with Sprayberry. The newbie and I are constantly eager to one-up the other when it comes to doing stunts or anything athletic.

"I have been in matches before, just not a televised one on the main roster."

To end his droning, I finally explain my situation. I shared how tiresome it was waiting for the creatives to come up with something for me or even accept any of the pitches I prepared. Just the thoughts of all those nights I spent my time to change my character up; just to be ignored and simply declined, it irritates me.

I don't know how anyone else can deal with the team, but I can't. At least not on a full-time basis, now that I'm starring in a TV series.

"They're crazy." Tyler remarked. "Dude, your body is toned up."

"Yeah, totally. It's insane… What do you do besides wrestling?"

I laughed at how both guys are now staring at me as I sit still at the bench press machine. _Do they really need an answer for that or what…?_ After nearly a minute of silence, I realized I do have to give them something. Anything at all to stop them from staying fixated on me.

"You already know I played lacrosse…" I pointed out, reminding them how I bedazzled them with my skill while they were practicing with Arden the other day. "I also swim, trained in boxing and kickboxing."

"That's it?" They asked in unison.

"I thought the list never end."

Tyler joked, which I responded with a slap to his arm. I'm sure it was pretty sore from the heavy weight lifting he completed earlier. Laughing with Sprayberry, the three of us then exit the gym and to our respective trailers; with my mind buzzing of the conversation we had.

Upon checking today's date on my phone, I realized it has been 2 years. _2 freaking years and I'm still waiting to make my in-ring début at Raw or SmackDown._ Shaking my head at the time I've wasted, I don't regret one bit of joining Teen Wolf. At least, I'm assured that I'm investing my time working my ass off on something.

I'm an actress and I get to see myself on television. Despite having to appear fully nude in the first episode I appeared in, I was happy. I'm satisfied to see my hard work paid off. All those times I've gone back and forth travelling, it's worth it. That's why I decided to sign on as a series regular for this season.

Although, even acting couldn't pacify my will to get back in the ring. _It's all I ever wanted…_ I trained and continue to train till every muscle of my body ache like crazy. I even endured parting with the people I love for the sake of competing in the main roster.

For now, I guess only time will tell; if the management will realize the talent I possesses in time before I decide to leave. The longer I continue to stay with them, I feel my passion for wrestling wilting away. And recalling all those times I've wrestled and earned championships in FCW and NXT, it's a shame that all that amount to nothing this instant.

* * *

 _10_ _th_ _March 2014, Monday – Memphis, Tennessee_

Now changed in a white and pink ringer t-shirt and a pair of dark denim shorts, I join the twins to watch Bryan's promo backstage. Shockingly, I only have one a match to be involved in tonight. What's not surprising is that it had to be Colby's match; Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins against Cody Rhodes and Goldust. _I thought the match would never end_ … Until Seth eventually hit the Curb Stomp and pinned Cody for the win.

Nothing much has changed since last September. Besides feeling less awkward to give him a wave or call him out, we're still not as close as we used to be. I guess, it's the way things should be between us from now onwards.

"That's right. Go Bryan!"

Brie cheered on her partner, as both Nicole and I smile happily. Regardless of how I'm treated right now as a talent, I couldn't be more proud of my cousin. His road to WrestleMania this time is better than ever. As Bryan's fan from the very beginning, I'm invested in his efforts to achieve the WWE World Heavyweight Championship for the third time.

He has been through so much with this company ever since his first arrival here in 2002. The way they treated him was unfair; yet he persisted on coming back. He came back in 2009 because of me too. I know he wouldn't admit it, but I also know, deep down that I was part of the reason why he signed with WWE again.

 _Bryan wanted to look out for me_.

"The crowd is insane; I can't imagine how that feels like."

I commented, at how loud the crowd chanted ' _Yes!_ '. Bryan really did a good one to keep them hyped, I lean forward; completely engrossed in the promo.

By the end of it, Bryan was surrounded with a whole lot of people supporting the ' _Yes!_ ' Movement. I clapped my hands, along with the twins as we watch how amazing of a promo that was. I, for one, is excited to see Bryan's matches in WrestleMania. After 5 years, he'll be earning what he truly deserved – which is long overdue. To see his success in the company right now, bring me to tears.

Just thinking about my time here from the start, I'm scared I'll experience the same as Bryan. I've already wasted my 2 years here in the main roster. All my hard work in FCW is clearly not enough for them, and it's futile.

 _I have failed to make Shaé and Bryan proud of me._

Before I waste more of my time here, it's better I go. _Isn't it?_

"Ria, are you coming with us?"

Brie brought me back to reality, and I avoid from facing them. I simply show them a thumbs up before my other hand wipe the tears swelling in my eyes away. Sighing, I proceed back to the locker room to pack up before driving with the twins later.

* * *

 *** * *** _12_ _th_ _March 2014, Wednesday – Northridge, California_

Here I am, sitting on the couch with empty walls staring right back at me. I've been up all night thinking about what the hell am I doing with my life. For so long, I yearn to be professional wrestler in the big league but all I'm ever going to be is… Not even close. I've tried all these time, but nothing.

I'm starting to believe that I'm _never_ going to be enough.

All the fights I've put up; all those tears I've shed ends up with the numbness I feel now. The hollow feeling that I'm experiencing right now, _how do I make it go away?_

"Hello?"

The voice on the other end of the phone line, gets me to lean back against the couch. I also tell myself to maintain a steady breathing. He cannot know about any of this.

"Hey." I spoke. "You're busy right now?"

"No, no. We can talk, what's up?"

I try to smile at how willing Colby is to talk to me; but I can't find the strength to. The reason why I dialed his number in the first place is to distract myself. I'd rather check in on my friend rather than cry my eyes out and continue thinking of all the negative things I could possibly think of.

 _I'm trying to avoid giving myself all the pain._

"Nothing much, uh, I just want to know how you're doing." I trembled till the end of my sentence.

Before saying a word, I can hear clearly how my question amused Colby. _That laugh_ , it used to annoy me or made me join him laughing all the time. Just not this time, unfortunately.

"That's cute. We saw each other yesterday Z, but I've been better." Colby admitted. "I kinda miss you, actually."

 _I miss you too_ , I bit my bottom lip preventing myself from letting a word out. My eyes are swelling with tears right now; I couldn't let Colby know that. He'd surely hear it in a heartbeat, and I don't want to talk about it. All I want to know is that, my friend is doing just fine – _at least better than I am_.

"It's weird, not to have you around much. I really want to make you scream again, it's fun." He continued, as I hold my breath. "Even the women's division right now is terrible. God, I just wish you'd swoop in and save it at WrestleMania, or something."

There's nothing else for me to say. Not at this moment when I'm struggling to find air to breath. My heart is pounding in my chest and I don't know what to do or say anymore. The next second I know; I'm on the floor with my phone out of my grasp.

"Z? ZARIAH?" I heard Colby's yelling from the call. "WHAT'S WRONG?! ZARIAH?!"

Not wanting him to worry any longer, I quickly end the call. I couldn't let him hear any more of whatever this is I'm having. My chest, it's tightening and I just, _I don't know what to do_.

"Yo, Zariah? You're ready yet?"

Dylan walked into the trailer, stunned to see me on the floor. I'm shivering as though I'm freezing; which doesn't make any sense in this small vehicle. Dylan run to me, grabbing a bottle of water from the table nearby. With hands on my shoulder, he tells me to focus on what he's saying.

"Breath in, Ria. Just take a deep breath in, okay. You can do this."

Without saying a word, I do as told. It's not as if I could even croak a word out of my mouth right now.

"Okay, hold your breath." His hands remain, as his gaze stays on me. "Exhale, slow and steady."

He made me repeat the exercise twice before seeing how I've calm down. My body no longer trembles as hard as it was a minute ago. My heartbeat is still beating faster than usual; but it's better. At least, it doesn't feel like I'm going to die today.

Dylan hands me over the bottle for me to drink. I obliged, but also scooting away from him and lean against the couch. He maintains his watch on me, worried expression plastered on his face. Feeling profoundly embarrassed of what he just saw, I avoid meeting his eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" He began, with a comforting tone. "I'm all ears and promise, I won't tell a soul."

Knowing Dylan for 7 months now, I'm sure I could trust him. The way he lives his life already proves of how good of a secret keeper he is. Plus, there's no one that I'm close to most on set besides him. Most likely because I'm playing as his love interest and, he has seen me butt naked – _for filming purposes_.

"I'm scared." I blurted out. "I, I don't know if I'm ever going to make it big time."

"In acting?"

"And wrestling." I added, before my sight turn to look at him. "I've been stuck with something that I'm not a fan of. I feel like, I'm nothing compared to others. There's always somebody else that get picked first before me, and it sucks. Knowing that even when I'm giving my all, it's not what they want or I'm not right for it."

I sigh, pouring my heart out to my co-star. For a second, I feel like I'm Malia – if she wasn't so tough. This is how a scene with Stiles would play out on-screen; I thought as I continue looking at Dylan.

"I may not understand how the wrestling world works, but I do have a couple of advice for acting. Just get yourself to a bunch of auditions." Dylan simply revealed. "Show people what you're made of, because you're pretty cool of a person and a decent actress. You're committed, we can all see that and you're passionate. In this business, as long as you work hard and continue to work hard, you'll never be let down."

My lips curl up, as soon as Dylan takes my hand. His reassurance gives me a little bit of hope. With the success and reviews I've gotten from critics and fans of Teen Wolf, it did back up everything that Dylan said. Nothing gives me much joy than reading all the positive and negative comments people have to say of my acting.

That's part of the journey that I look forward to because it's definitely going to help me grow. I know there will always be something for me to improve on, as an actress. In terms of answering questions regarding the role and show itself, characterization of the role I'm playing… _I want to work on all of my shortcomings_.

"Thanks." My voice came out softly. "I feel like there's more to say, but I really can't thank you enough."

"It's fine." He squeezed my hand gently. "Just chill here for a bit, I'll go check on the rest. I'll be right back."

Nodding my head vaguely, I release his hand and watch him walk out. I know that I have a lot on my plate right now that I feel like I'm losing my mind, but I also have some good people around me. If only I'd share a little bit of what I'm feeling to Bryan or Vic or Shaé, I wouldn't have had to go through that.

I smile to myself, grateful to have Dylan helped me out. This change in pressure is unlike one I've been through. Just when I thought my heart would stop beating, he came in to save me. In fact, he might even have inspired me a little – and I can't wait to go for the audition Shaé suggested.


	13. I'm With You

**A/N: Hey guys! So here's a chapter inspired by Avril Lavigne's I'm With You** **.**

 **Hope you enjoy this short and sweet chapter! Definitely one of my favourite to write :)**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _13_ _th_ _March 2014, Thursday – Long Beach, California_

Now standing in front of the 40-foot waterfall, I have never felt so serene for such a long time. All these while I've been too hectic with my careers to stop and admire the beauty of nature. Today, I finally have some time to get out of my house and revel in the serenity with my phone turned off.

Whereas I had so much time before to discover the magnificence of nature in different places, my time is constrained now. I have much more to do and I couldn't be happier, except a year ago I'd expect myself to be busy travelling the world as a wrestler. Not rushing back and forth from somewhere else back to California for work.

It's not easy to accept my current situation, or the fact that I can't manipulate things to go the way I want them to be. I've spent years working towards being a professional wrestler and obviously beyond FCW. I'm sure that I'm more than capable of being a competitor in the main roster, but I don't understand the lengthy wait since February 2012.

I sigh at the reminder of my 2-year tenure as a referee.

 _It has been a nice morning_ … 3 hours spent to breathe in the fresh air. It gives me a peace of mind that I missed after much juggling of my busy schedule. Thankfully there wasn't much people hiking at the Eaton Canyon too, so I could appreciate the moment in peace.

After this, all I want to do is have a night in with a takeaway that I'll order after a long shower. Now that's the one that I crucially need after a long day spent outdoor. I haven't even check my phone since I left the house at 9 in the morning. However, I did text Shaé and Bryan about my whereabouts – just in case. They knew of my particular hobby and since then, I've known of the drill prior to every hike I go for.

Now I'm driving my Rover back into the garage when I noticed a figure standing at my front door. Once I've parked, I get out of my car to meet the person at my doorstep. I've yet to order my food, and I'm not expecting anyone to visit me, _so who is that?_ Approaching the person, I slow down the minute I realized that it's…

"Colby?"

He turns around to see me, with his luggage at the other side. I smile widely and run towards him quickly for a hug. Colby didn't even get to say a word, and I'm sure he knows that he doesn't have to. Based on the last time we had a call, all I wanted now is to stay in his arms as I sob – heartened by his presence.

Walking back towards the living room, I hand Colby over his cup of coffee before sitting next to him on the couch. Now that I've cleaned myself up, I join him in my living room to watch the last 7 minutes of ' _We're the Millers_ '. Sipping on my homemade mixed berries smoothie, I sit back and relax in my pajamas after an entire day out hiking. It was tiring but it was worth it; _especially getting to see my best friend at the front door at the end of the day._

"I like how you changed the place since I last came here." His remark made me look around the room.

"What are you talking about C? Nothing's change."

If I recalled correctly, the last time he was here was on my 22nd birthday, 1st April 2012. Colby don't come here often, what with his schedule and living in Davenport; which required more than a day of driving or a 4-hour flight.

In fact, the most time we've spent together is in Orlando while being in FCW together. We even celebrated my 21st birthday together there and his 25th and 26th too. We had our fun, surprising each other and the first time when I found Colby at my door in California, I cried.

It was definitely tears of joy.

I'd never thought anyone would go to such great lengths just to spend my birthday with me. Colby is basically the sweetest person I've ever known and I really like the guy. I like how our friendship isn't the typical one that I'd have with the girls where I'd gossip a little, go out for shopping and drinking wine.

With Colby, I can go for any meals I want to with him, even for workouts and he's the friend that support my life goals – aspiring me to be better than I was yesterday.

"I was being sarcastic by the way." He pointed out, which earned him a slight nudge. "It's a metaphor too."

"Now you're just talking rubbish." I retorted, turning to gaze at him.

"I'm serious. It's the same as you. Same person, principles, still the hardworking badass I know and I want her to know that she doesn't have to change her passion either."

We meet each other's gaze, staying silent. I know what he came here for, it's about the call. It took him only one day to check on me personally and get his butt right here in California before he leaves for the next city. I'm in awe by how he's still not tired of picking me up when I'm down and going out on a limb to make sure that I'm alright.

"Z, I know that you're scared. Worried, bummed and crave to be back in the ring. If I can still remember how you'd get up so early in the morning to get in that FCW ring to train, I know that you do too. That's your uphill struggle which you overcame by entering the roster. You did all that on your own and now, even though it's another hard battle for you to go through, I don't want _it_ to be the reason for you to question yourself. Or your passion. Your undying passion for wrestling, it should not go to waste. You're _too good_ to go to waste…"

 _I don't know what to say_ , I thought to myself as I stare right back into Colby's brown eyes. While no one else has any idea how difficult it is to go on everyday living in constant fear of never being good enough, Colby is here to fix me. He came all the way from Davenport just so I'd realize how talented I am as a wrestler; which the WWE universe have yet to see.

For so long, this company got me questioning of my talent. _Was I incompetent to work in the ring with the likes of Natalya, AJ Lee, the twins?_ They are fantastic wrestlers and I'm dying to get in the ring with them for some in-ring competition… Not officiate their matches.

Even after the renegotiations with Paul Levesque and Carrano about my status, the most I get from it was a flexible schedule as I'm working as an actress too. From there, I'm hoping I'd gain a larger fan base and make them change their mind about my incompetency to be the face of the female division.

"You really think so, C?"

"I know so." He replied with a genuine smile. "And one day, you'll be the Divas champion that you deserve to be from the moment you step foot in that ring."

I chuckled at his statement, reaching for my smoothie again. Taking another sip of it, I can't help but thank god of how blessed I am. I have someone to build me up, putting my insecurities to sleep and remind me I'm worthy to be a champion one day.

"Thanks." I blurted out. "For being here, and the best friend that I'd never thought I need."

"You're always welcome."

Colby pulls me closer and I lean my head on his shoulder. He places a soft peck on my forehead before resting his head against mine. We stay in the position for the next movie, ' _The Conjuring_ '. Today, Colby really proved to be the one best friend that have always believe in me since day 1.

And frankly, I don't know what I'd do without him.

* * *

 _19_ _th_ _March 2014, Wednesday – Phoenix, Arizona_

The past week have been such a whirlwind. My mind ran to places where I was on my own. I tried to isolate myself from everyone but somehow someone managed to break through me. Thankfully, Bryan hadn't known about it.

If he does, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be sitting across the table laughing with Brie right now.

"So, how's your schedule been like?" Bryan queried, keenly.

"Better." I admitted. "Shaé and Reed are my saviors, to be honest. I don't know how I'd survive without them."

Brie shakes her head, knowing fully well of what I'm talking about. She too is a reality star now, so she'd understand. Though I'm sure she has it harder, what with cameras following her everywhere; to the extent of invading their home.

"There's no clashes with WWE events?" She probed.

"Uh, there is. That's why Carrano and I have been discussing about it; then I'll be giving updates to the show's team on my filming days."

Given how I'm the catalyst of drama surrounding match endings, I'll have to be present at Raw and SmackDown weekly. However, Carrano have negotiated that he could cut my live event appearances but increase more meet and greets and media appearances instead.

"Wow, you're getting busy lady."

Brie joked, before taking a sip of her drink. I merely shrug, choosing not to deny the truth. As of late, I barely have the time for family.

If it's seeing Bryan, I only get to hang with him at work. I'd be doing signing of pictures or other merchandise, and he'd stick around with me to chat. It's always nice to sit down and talk with him alone; especially with constraint timing due to different commitments in my life.

"Surely am." I sigh afterwards. "I'm also thinking of going for another audition."

"Really? Another TV show?"

Bryan's reaction was skeptical. He's been worried ever since I first started though. Clearly, I'll have to assure him that I'll be fine. I'm in a better state now, with the help of Shaé and Reed. And Shaé is really hopeful that I'd attend this one, after she hung up the call with the casting director.

"No, it's for a movie."

"Really?"

The couple replied in unison, leaving me furrowing my eyebrows. I know exactly what they're thinking, _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?_ If Nicole was here, she'd be flipping out too. In fact, I'm sure she'd be the first.

"Ria, are you sure about it? Because it's really, going to be a lot tougher to work with another project on your plate."

I smile, nodding to Bryan's statement. I'm not going to argue or even be too optimistic about this because this is the real world. The amount of sleep I have every day at most is 5 hours.

While in FCW, my days have been a routine of waking up to train all day. It's different now. I wake up to a brand new day every day and it excites me. I get to work and be productive with my time; it's just that I'll have to neglect certain people in my life for that specific period.

"Well... I'm honestly happy with my acting career now. I want to explore more, as soon as I get the freedom to by WWE. It's not like they are making good use of me anyways, so…"

I end my sentence with a shrug. Taking a bite of my salad, I'm hoping they'd be giving me a little bit of support to do this. It's not like they could falter my decision to talk to Carrano about this; so they might as well give me their blessing.

 _Bryan's approval would mean the world to me._

He inspires me from the day I've yet to know what wrestling is. He's the one who taught me everything I have to know about being a wrestler and shows me how grueling the industry can be.

"I couldn't be more proud of you, Ria." Bryan takes my hand and smile. "If only they'd quit being dumb and see your true potential."

Both Brie and I chuckle as I shakes me head. Brie too wishes me the best of luck for my audition. Looks like both of them are on board with the idea, which is great. I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

They even mentioned something similar as Colby, which is about fan base. With the exposure I get from acting, I could easily influence them to be a fan of WWE. That'd show the management that I can do it all; give me the competition that I deserve and I'll triumph in the women's division.

 _If only they have a little faith in me_.


	14. This Time

**A/N: Hey guys! So here's a chapter inspired by Pia Toscano's This Time** **. After all these years, still in love with the song. And strong vocals by her too!**

 **Yet another short chapter but I hope you enjoy it!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _27_ _th_ _March 2014, Thursday – Northridge, California_

It's Thursday night. Whereas I'd typically be on my way out from the filming studio at this exact time, it's a different case tonight. I've had a long and tiring week and I yearn for the comfort of slumping in my king size bed until I found myself covered in cake frosting.

 _I have a cake face… Literally._

In my efforts to repay the kindness of Tyler Posey and Dylan, I chased both around the parking lot. Until I eventually caught Tyler and put him in an arm lock. Once I'm close enough, with Holland's help I manage to smoosh his face into the cake before laughing hysterically.

"We hope you liked it." Dylan approached me as I watch the cast and crew joyfully.

"What's not to like? Especially the part when I have cake in my nose."

We elicit chuckles, before he nudged me softly. I can't even express how delightful and grateful I am; by how they spent time to plan this. It's unthought of to me, especially when my birthday is not until next Tuesday.

"I love it, Dyl. It's definitely surprising to have a surprise celebration a week before my actual birthday."

"Well, a bird told me that we'll have to celebrate your birthday belated; if not tonight and we wouldn't want that."

"Aw…"

I'm lost for words as I turn to face my co-star and a friend. He's been such an amusing companion since my arrival here; I can't even believe it's real. All these worrying by Nicole before this, it has been for nothing. All of them have been anything but friendly to a newcomer like me.

"Speak of the devil." I sigh as I check my phone. _Another call by Nicole_ , I shake my head.

"Who's that?"

Dylan had to ask. If he must know, it's the twin of my cousin's girlfriend that have been bugging me non-stop to find a date. With Bryan and Brie's wedding approaching, she wants to make sure that I have someone to come with. If only Bryan didn't open his mouth about it in front of her the other day.

"Impending doom." I muttered, just when Holland joins us. "It's a friend that just _won't_ quit to get me a date. My cousin's the one getting married and I'm being hunted down to find a man… Just, great."

I release another sigh, as they remain silent. I'm not even sure if I should be telling them about the matter. It doesn't concern them in any way, nor am I implying that I'd like to have someone to go with the wedding – _but it is the truth_. I do want to be there with someone; but not just _anyone_.

Without saying a word, Holland takes my phone away and it takes my attention easily.

"No more phone for the rest of the night." She stated, before slipping it in her pocket. "This is your party."

"And I'm sure the right guy will come around, eventually." Dylan assured me, with an arm around my shoulder. "He could even be somewhere working closely around you."

Looking right at him, my face matches his. We both smile at each other, as my mind try to decode his assurance. I'm not sure who is he referring to, but I did promise myself not to date another wrestler.

 _Now why in the world would I move on to date an actor?_

My smile soon turns to a smirk as Holland had slyly handed me a slice of cake. Out of nowhere, I planted the cake in hand to Dylan's face and flee.

Forget about dating, _I don't need a man_. What I need to do is keep this happiness I'm overwhelmed with forever. If only I know of a way to keep it, conceal it or even bury it where I'll never lose it. I want to have the chance to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk and press it over myself again.

Because I don't want to ever go back to who I was earlier this month.

* * *

 _31_ _st_ _March 2014, Monday – Washington, D.C._

Just when I thought I was heading over to the big screen, there's yet another roadblock. Although to think about it now, this is what I wanted. My longing to compete in the squared circle of the main roster will finally come true after 2 years, 1 month and 11 days of waiting.

I smile to myself, recovering from the anxiety that I've gotten from Carrano's call last Friday. I spent my weekend, wondering what was the serious news he had in stored for me. Until an hour ago, I couldn't fathom the state of bliss I'm in. Dressed in my referee attire, I skip around the arena gleefully.

 *** * * FLASHBACK * * ***

"Are you serious?"

 _So this is the serious news..._

I'm left astonished with my vocal cord unable to produce any kind of sound. Giving myself a pinch, I jump a little from my seat and realized,

"No, you're not dreaming." Paul chuckled, then pat my shoulder. "You deserve it."

Instead of meeting Carrano, he guided me to Paul instead. It did make me feel more anxious than I already was but not anymore. I'm in disbelief as to what I've just heard and all I want to do is hug someone. Without thinking more, I turn to the woman next to me and cling onto her.

"I think she needs a moment."

AJ muttered to Paul but I could hear her loud and clearly. _This is the moment of my life_ , I thought to myself. All those body aches and time I've worked so hard for; it leads me here. Sitting in the office, smiling from ear to ear at the news of making my début on Monday Night Raw.

I thought I was forgotten, being left out of the 15-woman match at WrestleMania XXX and all. What's more devastating is that, it's for the Divas Championship. For the first time, it will be defended on WrestleMania and I'm not in it. Whatever it is though, it's confirmed.

 _I am competing soon enough._

 *** * * END OF FLASHBACK * * ***

"What are you smiling about?"

I went over to hair and make-up, where Bryan and Brie are. My cousin is quick to notice the joy written on my face, as he stands in front of his future wife. But no matter how painfully ecstatic I am coming out from the meeting with AJ and Paul, I cannot tell a soul.

It's as confidential as the non-existing plus one that Nicole thought I'd be bringing along to the wedding.

"Does this involve a particular plus one to our wedding?"

"Maybe…"

I teased Brie, before flashing another smile. I can't believe how hard it is to pretend to not be affected by this news. While I know, it's going to be a while longer before I compete in a match, I don't think I could stop smiling till the day comes.

Even if Nicole were to berate me about not having a date yet, I'd simply beam at her – _like a maniac_.

"I can't believe this. Only one more week before I become Mrs. Danielson."

At the mention of one week, my mind finally snap back to reality.

"11th April, right?" I asked the couple for confirmation.

"Yes, Ria. Don't tell me you have last minute plans…"

Bryan warned me, raising his eyebrows. Responding with a shrug and a smaller smile, I then flee from them. I guess, now I realized why Paul apologized for the sudden news. He catapulted me to cloud nine when I'm supposed to be here and searching for a breathing male.

Just one male companion to a wedding, it shouldn't be hard to find… _Can it?_

* * *

 **A/N: You guys wanna have a guess who Dylan was referring to?** **And who will Zariah ended up with at the wedding?**

 **;)**


	15. Then There's You

**A/N: Hey guys! So here's a chapter inspired by Charlie Puth's Then There's You** **. I swear, his voice just makes it all so dreamy when I write this chapter.**

 **Another one of my favorites to write, and as an apology for the late update... Here's another one in the same day (for me anyways)!**

 **Hope you enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _01_ _st_ _April 2014, Tuesday – Washington, D.C._

Not to sound like a total brat, _but why aren't people showering me with any attention?_

Ever since I woke up today, not a soul have bothered to spend some time with me. Every single person that I know – _not even close with, just know_ – are running errands as if it's their last day on the face of the earth. I know that I'm one of the odd ones to be stuck being a referee in WrestleMania while all the other women compete, _but seriously?_

Even Vic hadn't bother to plan any kind of birthday celebration for me. I'm 24 today, yet no one seems to give a damn. Apparently, everyone is too busy flying back home to get some rest before performing on the grandest stage of them all. As for Bryan, he's too focused and busy with his wedding with Brie that all he left me with was a peck to the cheek and off he goes back home.

Sighing, I wait idly for the elevator – after getting brunch _alone_.

"HEY!"

I squealed at the sudden approach, as well as the poking of both side of my ribs. The next second I catch my breath; I turn around to find Colby laughing his ass off. Swiftly, I grab hold of his head and puts him in a side headlock. Angered by the fright, I then choose to mess his hair bun and tighten my hold as he continues to struggle.

"Is there a problem here, miss?" A guard draw close to me, glance changing between me and Colby.

"I'm taking care of the problem. Thank you very much, sir."

With an unconvinced smile, he eventually walks away. _Of course, he didn't know me…_ My face is not even on any WWE poster or the truck itself – _at least, not yet_. At the thought of my début, I take a deep breath and let go of Colby as I breath out.

Turning to face my best friend, he opens his arms seeking a hug. Rolling my eyes, I walk into the now opened elevator instead. _About time…_ I sigh, pressing the button of my floor.

"I can visibly see how annoyed you are." He declared the obvious. "On your birthday."

The doors are close now and we have some time till the elevator reaches my floor. I stand at the corner while Colby stands opposite me; eyeing me carefully. He could easily tell my mood right after I recover from being annoyed with his habitual scares; which usually takes a minute.

"Come on, tell me." Colby insisted before my eyes met his. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I quipped. "Literally, nothing. It's my birthday and I have nothing on. Nobody to be with, no plans at all and my flight is not until 5pm. Just, frigging, fantastic."

I resisted the urge to curse, out of frustration. If I had known no one would be bothered to spend their time with me, I would have gone out for a hike at dawn. It'd be just me and nature, how I'd rather today be instead of boring myself in the hotel room or simply roam around the city.

Responding to my whining, Colby snicker and shakes his head. It then makes me draw towards him, slapping his arm before the elevator door opens.

"Hey, Z! I'm sorry!" He apologized as he chases me out of the elevator. "In case you haven't noticed, you have me. And the day barely started, come on, what do you say if I take you out."

"Can we go—"

"EXCEPT FOR HIKING!" Colby cried out, before I could even suggest it. "Anything _but_ hiking."

While the twins have been gushing about my _still_ non-existent plus one, I have been worried, annoyed, excited; all of that mushed into one. Basically, I'm a wreck. I have my birthday today, upcoming début, then finding someone to bring to the wedding.

I sigh, at the never-ending to-do list.

"Now, why isn't the birthday girl smiling?"

Taking a lick at my popsicle, I then shake my head. I'm not sure if telling Colby would even help. Being out here with him, it's good enough. Just when I thought I have no one, there he is.

 _Savior to my 24_ _th_ _birthday._

"I don't think I suit to be called a birthday girl." I claimed, as I sit back at the bench.

"What? You wanna be birthday woman instead?" Even Colby scowl at the word, ' _woman_ '. "You're older, but you're not _that_ old."

Both of us laugh; without me having to point out how he's the 28-year-old. Just 2 years away from hitting the big 3-0. _How fast does time flies_ , I wonder as I watch Colby taking a scoop of his ice cream. One moment, we were in an ROH ring then in FCW and now, WWE together.

 _Is this a dream?_

"You still haven't told me, what got you in a black mood."

"It's not—"

I didn't even manage to cough up the second syllable of the pronoun.

"You see, when you say it's nothing, there's always something. Come on, you know you can trust me."

This time, he puts his cup of ice cream aside and invest all his attention to me. He really means it though, with his body facing me entirely and sight staying fixated on me. Even if I try to ignore him, I can't brush off the unnerving sense of being stare at.

"Fine. Just, stop. Look away." I push his face off, before licking my popsicle. "It's about Bryan's wedding. And I have no one to go with. But that isn't the problem though, the real problem is, I lied to the twins."

"Why did you lie?"

"I have to, okay!" I exclaimed my point. "If not, Nicole _will_ hook me up with one of her guy friends."

Honestly, that's why. I had to lie just so the both of them could stop checking on me every 5 minutes about my plus one. The moment I told them about ' _him_ ', the number of texts or calls I get from them comes close to a zilch.

"Woah, and I take it you don't like that." He chuckles, before continuing to finish up his ice cream.

"Of course not. I'm not one who easily hit it off with some random guy. It's odd, now that I'm moving around."

 _Well, I used to hit it off with a random guy; look what happened to that._ I'm reminded of the man I used to love. It seems that the goodbye hurts lesser, now that I'm haunted by flashbacks of him since the day we first met.

"Earth to Zariah!" Startling out of my daze, I turn to face Colby. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking…" I uttered, as I look at him closely. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

Colby echoed after me, leaving me with a slight chance of hope. With fingers crossed, I'm staying positive of the idea. It's my ultimate chance of attending the wedding with someone by my side.

* * *

 _07_ _th_ _April 2014, Monday – New Orleans, Louisiana_

 _Tonight's the night_.

Gazing intently at my own reflection, I can't believe I'm finally in my ring gear. I have my hand wraps on, my sleeveless high-neck top with mesh detail, my leather shorts and a pair of knee-high wrestling boots with knee pads on. As I exhale slowly, my mind focuses on the effort I've put in to earn this.

Putting my nerves at ease, I think of how it's no different than any other nights. I'll be making my way down the ramp and into the ring as usual. Plus, it's with AJ. She's one of my bestest friends here. This couldn't be any less than ordinary for me – _or Za-rye-ah_.

After a couple of stretches, one of the crew calls me and I follow him to the gorilla position. With eyes close and my heart pounding out of my chest, I tell myself, _I'm born to do this_.

"The winner of this match, and new Divas Champion, Zariah!"

The moment I reversed AJ's Black Widow to a hurricanrana driver, I quickly performed ' _Shut Your Face_ ', a powerbomb facebuster and pinned her for the win. I'm in disbelief as I rolled out of the ring, covering my mouth – with the crowd cheering ringing in my ears. They are just as loud as they were last night.

After Jason Ayers hands me over the Divas Championship, I stand tall at the ramp. Taking a second to look at the New Orleans crowd entirely, I then raise the belt above my head proudly before entering backstage.

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

The twins greeted me backstage. There is a full crowd of women surrounding me and giving me hugs. Once I've hugged almost every single one of them, I then stand face-to-face with my cousin.

"I'm very proud of you."

He muttered before embracing me tightly. Tears that have been swelling in my eyes; the second I roll out of the ring, begins to cascade down my face. It's inevitable that I'd be shedding tears of joy after my accomplishment tonight. Out of all the other women, I'm the one to end AJ's 295-day reign as the Divas champion.

"Thanks Bryan."

I whispered back, in between sobs.

I didn't tell anyone about this – _not even the twins or Bryan_. The only ones who knew of the title change were Carrano, Paul, the producers, Jason, AJ and I. It was _that_ confidential; which makes me feel so blessed and grateful of the opportunity they've given me. It felt amazing to be granted the chance to end AJ's streak… _Déjà vu from Lesnar and Undertaker's match last night much?_

That's also why all night, I've been straying away from everyone else. I've not talked to Colby all day and here I am, searching for him everywhere. He should be on his way to the concourse area to make his entrance though. He'll be out soon with Ambrose and Reigns for Bryan's match with Triple H.

"C! Hey!"

To get his attention, I called him out timely before he makes his way out. With Ambrose and Reigns staying aside to wait for him, I try to cut my celebratory speech short.

"I'm a champion."

I show off the championship, resting on my shoulder with a wide smile. I don't even care if it were to hurt my cheeks. It proves just how content I am tonight. Even though I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that _I_ matter to the women's division from now on.

 _I am the Divas Champion._

"Look at that huh?" He grins as he nodded his head, to the Divas Championship. "Told you you'll be the champ one day. I saw your match, it was great. I kinda miss seeing you jumping around in the ring."

Before he could say anymore, I pull Colby in for a hug to shut him up. To be honest, I don't need him to say anything to me. My intention to find him is to show him that I made it. He believes in me throughout it all, and pull me out of my woes – _no questions asked_.

He's the only one that I'm dying to see the moment I step backstage; not anyone else.

"Hate to spoil the party kids, but we gotta go."

John – better known as Dean Ambrose – called out for Colby. I chuckle slightly and pull back, still in cloud nine as I hold onto the championship that I've worked for years. Nodding to Colby, he then messes my hair before running out before his two stable mates.

"Congrats by the way."

Both John and Joe wished me, in unison before joining Colby. Once they're gone, I laugh to myself as I stare at the closing door. Sighing softly, I then bit my bottom lip before wiping the tears swelling in my eyes. I can't believe this is happening.

 _I really am the Divas champion, holy crap._

* * *

 _11_ _th_ _April 2014, Friday – Phoenix, Arizona_

I was the last to fly in from Long Beach last night. By the time I reached here, everyone was asleep and of course, I wouldn't want to cause any kind of disturbance. So both my date and I slept in our cabin peacefully, up till an hour ago.

 _We overslept_.

And I have been rushing to get ready as soon as I'm out of the showers. While he simply got himself dressed within 45 minutes fresh out of the shower. Unable to stand him watching me – and adding more pressure to look good, I chase him out.

"Are you done yet?" _There he is, banging on the door._ "It's been an hour!"

"Alright, alright!"

Sighing, I take a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror to check my make-up. Then I rush to slip on my pair of nude velvet 5-inch stilettos before stepping out to the world… _and Colby_. Honestly, I was desperate and he did owe me a favor. _This is it_ , Colby Lopez repaying the favor from the time he kissed me.

"So how do I look?"

It was the first thing I blurted out, as I twirl around in my metallic maxi dress. It's silver with a halter neckline, sleeveless cut and an elasticized waist. Out of all the dresses I've seen online, I feel like this looks decent on me. It's not much and I already have the best shoes to pair it with.

Thankfully, I managed to collect the parcel on time and have it ironed.

"Don't just stare, say something Lopez!" I nudged his arm, in annoyance.

"You look, amazing." He sputtered out. "If only you could have done it faster, you know."

This time, Colby is swift to dodge another one of my nudge. Instead, he went back inside quickly to get his belongings and lock the door of our cabin. Together, we make our way to the wedding ceremony as a couple.

I knew the moment anyone land their sights on us here together, it will bring up questions. As predicted, I was right. While Bryan had greeted Colby cordially as a guest, both Brie and Nicole pulled me aside. Before a word could slip off my tongue, they have been rambling non-stop. Not even for a second, they give me a chance to explain the situation.

"I thought you told me you have a date!" "Please tell me he isn't your date, Zariah."

Hearing Brie after Nicole's exclamation, I gasp in surprise.

"What is so wrong about Colby being my date?" I have to question them. "He's my best friend."

"And also someone's boyfriend."

Brie reminded me of the obvious. Exasperated, I simply rolled my eyes at how both of them thought that I'm that senseless to be involved with Colby's relationship. I know Leighla, I know her quite well actually – unbeknownst to them.

"Don't you think I'd know that as his best friend? I already told her about it, and she's cool with it. I don't see why the two of you are freaking out as if I'm going to get married with him after this…"

Even Shaé isn't overreacting as they are; and that's because she trusts me. My sister knows well enough that her little sister wouldn't come in between anyone's relationship. _I'm not a relationship wrecker_ , I barely get any relationship going on in my life – and I'm fine with it.

"And for the record, Colby is just a friend. He isn't the ' _right_ ' one."

I added, before turning my back on the twins. It's Bryan's wedding day and the last thing they should be worried about is me. Today is meant to be a joyous occasion whereby I welcome Brie to be part of the Danielson family. Not the day both of the twins get unrestricted access to sort out my personal life.

Having enough of their fuss, I decide to stay close to anyone else – _but them_.

Throughout the ceremony and reception, Colby and I remain by each other's side. Mainly because he doesn't know a lot of people and I feel bad making him tag along to this; now that I realize how lonely he is. As the newlyweds are enjoying their dinner, Colby and I watch them with a drink in our hands.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, out of the sudden.

"For what?" He turns to me, with eyebrows raised.

"This." Pointing out the entire reception where he's forced to be at; _because of me_. "I shouldn't make you spend your Friday like this."

Colby release a soft chuckle before turning to face me. For once, we tear our gazes from everyone else – _especially Bryan and Brie_ – and pay attention to each other. All along I've been pointing to my relatives and introducing Colby to them; from afar. It's only when they're nearby that I introduce them face to face.

It was pleasant really, except for the first one; when we met aunt Darleen. Bryan's mum actually thought Colby was my boyfriend, which made me choke on my drink instantaneously. Colby being a good friend that he is, clear the doubts smoothly as I try to recover from the awkwardness.

"Why not? Am I not good enough of a date for you?"

"Woah, where is that coming from? I didn't say that, and, why would you want to be here? Out of all places."

"Because I have a favor to return to a friend."

The both of us know fairly well of the favor that I spoke of 7 months ago. It seemed longer than that, to be honest. A lot have happened and changed throughout the course of 7 months. Besides us not talking to each other for a while, he was also the one who take care of me at my worst.

Somehow, Colby is the first person to do so even though we were miles apart and have not spoken for weeks.

"I appreciate it, C." I whispered, before taking his hand in mine. "I really do."

At that single moment, when our eyes meet, I know I'd be better off here with him than anyone else. There's no one else that I'd rather be with on my cousin's wedding, or for work out, or binge-watching TV shows, or hiking – as much as Colby hates it. He's the one that I can do anything with.

I don't think I need any other man for that in my life.

"Now, how about we have a dance? And you get to appreciate my dancing skills."

Holding back my laughter, I close my mouth and raise my eyebrows at Colby pointedly. I'm stunned that he'd even consider dancing with me in public. All my life, since I've known Colby, he has _never_ dance with anyone – especially not with me.

As much as I'd like to have a dance, I didn't feel good to ask. It feels like another favor that I'm asking of him; to dance with me.

"What? Come on, let's dance." He urged, now tugging on my left hand.

"Oh, you're serious? This is really happening?"

With my jaw dropped in astonishment, I follow him to the dancefloor. There are several couples, slow dancing with their partner. As for me, I'm stuck here with my best friend. Who apparently knows how to dance better than I do, as he corrects the placement of my hands on his shoulders.

"Don't tell me you've never dance before…" Colby queried, judging from how I've place my hands on his sides.

"It's been a while."

I fibbed, though we both know the truth. The both of us smile, in silence as Colby leads the dance throughout. It has been barely 3 minutes, but I couldn't live through the silence. This seemed a little awkward for me; to be dancing with someone else's boyfriend.

"Please say something." I begged. "Let's talk about anything, at all."

Before he says another word, Colby laughs. I can't believe he finds this funny. Only in an alternate universe, he'll finally take me seriously – especially when I'm feeling queasy and annoyed _of him_.

"Okay, fine, let's talk." He blurted, once I give him a pinch. "I know that you're not a fan of hook-ups, but what exactly do you look for in a man of your dreams?"

"Confidence, that's one." I revealed. "Trust, that's the most important one. And hopefully, taller than me."

"Hey, if it wasn't for those heels, I'm taller alright?"

Knowing exactly that I was mocking our similar heights, Colby retorted. It easily makes me chuckle, as we both take a peek down at my pointed stilettos.

"What about you? When are you planning to settle down, tall man?" I quizzed, curiously.

"Honestly, I don't know." Colby replied, then shrug his shoulders. "But I do know that, I want to live a quiet life. With a family of 3 to 4 kids, that'd be fun."

"Wow, 3 to 4 kids huh, Lopez?" I joked, which he only nod to. "Maybe you'll know, when the time comes."

Assuring him is all I could do. I can't possibly make him think that Leighla isn't the one, only because Colby hadn't thought of it yet. Seeing how the two survived living apart for most of their relationship, I don't see how they wouldn't work out in the end. It takes time; even with the right person.

That's why being a hopeless romantic, that I am, in this world and scared to experience romance, time is all I ever need to find the ' _right_ ' one.


	16. Stuck in the Middle

**A/N: Hey guys! Another chapter inspired by Boys Like Girls' Stuck in the Middle.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _08_ _th_ _September 2014, Monday – Baltimore, Maryland_

"Don't you even dare, Rollins."

Once I saw his figure in the mirror, I warned him from committing his typical antics. Each time he comes around, I'll either make a fool out of myself or he'll get a piece of action. By action I mean, locked in some hold – mostly headlocks though.

"Alright, alright…" Raising both hands, Colby draw closer to stand beside me. "No need to get your knickers in a twist, I'm just gonna ask if we're driving to the next town together."

Sighing, I haven't thought of that all day. The only thing that runs through my mind since the meeting with Carrano is the Divas Championship – _my Divas championship_. All these while, I've been nothing but dedicated to live my brand up as a champion. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, or inadequate but…

"Hey, earth to the champ!" Colby nudge me slightly, pausing my thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah." I sputtered, pushing him aside. "I'll see you later."

I flee the instant Colby is out of my way. Heading back to the women's locker room, I intent to keep to myself before my match comes. I don't even think any number of donuts is enough to cheer me up. Which also means that no one can make the news be any easier for me to take…

* * *

Opting to drive the 3-hour ride, I try to focus my mind on the road. And also Colby's chattering about something that I should probably listen to but I'm still bewildered. It has only been 5 months, and I'm going to be remembered merely as a titleholder – _once upon a time_.

To be honest, I expected so much more from my first reign. After waiting for this moment for 2 years, I would like to hold the title longer than they planned. _Ugh_ , I thought to myself as I recall back my previous achievements.

Before the main roster, I was the inaugural and youngest FCW Divas champion earning the title at the age of 20. Not only that but I kept the championship for 301 days. Afterwards, I was pushed to gain the Queen of FCW and I worked as the champion for 406 days.

Me, Zariah Carmine, was the youngest and longest reigning for both women championships in FCW but when I was brought up to the main roster… I'm nowhere near setting such bar in the women's division.

"Are you gonna tell what's wrong or do I have to poke it out of you?"

Turning to face him, I show him an unconvincing frown. At this state, even if there were to be a flock of birds flying towards me, I wouldn't budge. I don't have the feel to do anything at all; except sigh.

"Z, what's wrong?" Colby urged.

"167 days… That's how long I'm going to be champion."

Silence arouse in the car, with Colby remain immobile as he stares at me. I'm guessing he wants me to add on after a while of quiet; unhelpful to my current state of mind.

"I'm losing the title, and I don't know what the hell they're going to put me through after that."

"Z, whether you're champion or not, there are fans who love you. Have you forgotten the night you won that title? The crowd was insane,"

"That's why I want to prove to them that I can do more, as a champion!"

For 58 hours, I kept my mouth shut about the matter. Whenever anyone asked if I'm fine, I'd lie. _Everyone lies anyway_. It's a coping mechanism, or as I'd like to call it a crucial survival trait. But I fail to realize that the most dangerous lies are the ones that I've forced myself to believe.

I try to convince myself that I'll move on from it. That everything will be fine after my title reign ends. The management will still utilize me and let me connect with the WWE universe as a wrestler. Or most importantly, the number of days doesn't define how good of a wrestle I am… _but I just can't_.

No one else knows of this, besides AJ and I. Unable to bottle up my discontentment any longer, I cracked.

"Z…" My eyes remain on the empty road, as Colby rubs my shoulder. "No matter what, everyone already sees how great you are as a wrestler – and a person. You're a lot more than just a champion to a lot of people. You might think that you're not good enough for some people but, that's an insult to me."

Just then I step on the brake on the red traffic, before turning to face him. For once, my head is silent and all I'm dying to hear now is what Colby have to say. This is the type of silence that have me stop thinking of myself just this once and listen to others.

 _Whatever anyone have to say at all_.

"I know you Zariah, and you're a fucking star to me since day 1."

In response to his heartfelt sharing, I laugh. That's exactly what I did for the next 2 minutes; while Colby try to understand how in the world did I find what he said to be hysterical. Judging from his expression then frustration, my friend seemed to be serious.

But I don't know why, it's still strange to hear it – this time.

"Seriously, Z… Come on, tell me what's so funny?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed, unable to explain more. "It's just, a little funny but, thanks… It kinda helps."

"Anything for you." He chirped, before settling down in his seat. "By the way, you still have your audition."

I even forgot about my latest audition for The Maze Runner's second installment, The Scorch Trials. Shaé secured me the audition back in April, when I mentioned about Dylan's advice. Though I'm not putting much hope in it since I realized there are other actresses who auditioned for the same role.

Emma Roberts and Hailee Steinfeld are a couple I could name. Honestly, I can't even fathom what a miracle it'd be if I ever beat those two out.

" _Right_ … There's always that."

I scoffed right after replying to Colby. He then goes on to play some tracks from his phone, and attempts his best to make me embarrass myself – joining him to sing on top of his lungs.

* * *

 _21_ _st_ _September 2014, Sunday – Nashville, Tennessee_

By the end of the night, this will be over. My reign as a champion end without much evidence of how incredible I am of a wrestler; based on the people that inspire me.

"I'm going to miss carrying you around."

I whispered, as I hold my tears back – staring down at the pink butterfly designed belt. Sighing, I wear it on my waist loosely and walk out of the empty locker room. Whether I like it or not, it's time for me to let it go. Meanwhile, I'll just have to distract myself.

The moment I turn to the left corner of the hallway; I find my best friend idling around. Unlike usual, he doesn't seem too cheery – and I probably know why.

"What's up, sourpuss…" I poked Colby's cheek once I stand in front of him.

"Haven't you heard? I have the night off from kicking Reigns' ass."

I chuckle at his response, before following him to the catering. I know how eager Colby was preparing for the match, only for it to be taken away from him at the last minute. Just yesterday he was informed of it, and I can tell he's bummed by how he decided to leave dinner early.

"Hey, don't worry about Rollins depriving the audience from any form of entertainment… You're still getting your ass kicked, aren't you?"

Colby turns to gaze at my infamous grin and shake his head. Nudging me away playfully, he gets himself a cup of coffee while I grab a seat with a bottle in hand. He then sits next to me, taking a sip of his hot beverage. I watch him do so until he suddenly takes hold of my left hand.

"You need to calm down." He then places his coffee on the table.

"I am calm."

I retorted, pulling my hand away and bring it up to the table. Interlocking both hands, I look away from him – feeling odd from the way he touched me.

"Zariah, you can't keep your hands to yourself since you came to me. The poking, hand gestures and tapping on your thighs… That's,"

"I'm fine, I promise."

He simply shows me a nod before looking away. Releasing a soft sigh, I turn my gaze elsewhere too. Not only was the tingly feeling on the skin contact Colby made is bothering me, but lying to him. It has been constant for the past weeks.

Just so he wouldn't be burdened by my sadness and worries.

"C, I," "Z, I,"

Both of us spoke at the same time, eyes looking directly into each other's. I can also tell that the corner of my lips is curling into a smile, just like his. And shaking my head, I look back up only to realize Colby have lean in closer to me.

"Best of luck later on."

He murmured as his hands reach for my face this time. I remain still in my seat, indecisive of my next move. My eyes blink to see if it's real, but it really is. Colby's face continues to lean towards me and I'm staring right into his brown eyes – _motionlessly_.

"RIA!" "There you are!"

Another blink and he's getting off his seat, as Paige and Nicole approach us. Before they draw close enough, Colby messes my hair and escape from having to converse with the two – _or smacked by me_. I heave a sigh, though I'm unsure if it's of relief or… _regret?_

* * *

 _30_ _th_ _September 2014, Tuesday – Milwaukee, Wisconsin_

Apparently, it's true. When one door closes, another one opens.

For 2 weeks, I was in distressed since I wasn't booked in any matches or segments at all. The thought of meeting Carrano to request for a time off keeps on bugging me; but I had no concrete reason – _until now_. It's been a day since I've known about it but I've told no one; besides Carrano.

 _Not even Colby._

"You're being weird…" He pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you being weird?"

"No reason."

I shrug my shoulders, putting effort to hide my smile this time. Matching Colby's expression, I then motion for him to pay attention to the road as he drives.

* * *

"Seriously, this is weird. What's all this for?"

After swatting Colby's hands before he could pay the bill, he questioned _again_. I handed my credit card to the waiter and I waited patiently for him to leave. As for Colby, there he is sitting across the table with arms crossed and frowning at me.

"Can't you wait?" I quipped, then roll my eyes. "It's a treat. I'm treating you dinner, there's nothing wrong with that."

"Okay, but what's wrong here is you hiding something from me. You're happy, and it's weird for me to not know why."

Colby continues to whine away, as I rest my chin on my closed hand. My eyes look vacantly at his lips whereas he remains unaware of his endless complaining. I'd never tell this to anyone but he looks adorable; ranting about whatever that's bothering him.

The both of us are polar opposites yet here we are; a pair of fitting best friends that enjoy each other's company. I force the corner of my lips from curling up, hiding my amusement to see Colby in annoyance.

"Miss, here's your card." The waiter interrupted us, and I tipped him before he left us again.

"Were you even listening to me?!"

He finally noticed how I have been lost in thought while he rambled on for the past 3 minutes. In guilt, I press my lips together – stifling a laughter.

"Okay, okay… I'm just gonna say it now." I inhale a deep breath. "I'm gonna be in a movie."

"What? I told you! Z, I, you're going to be great."

I could tell he was lost for words. Just as I was, when the casting director called me yesterday. I was in my room packing to drive to the arena and I was jumping for joy. All thoughts of being left at the shelf after I lose my title was swept off my mind.

 _I'm doing something with my life, and I'm happy._

"Thanks, Colby." I muttered, eyes gazing at my glass. "I guess; this means you'll need a new travel buddy."

"I guess so…"

Every ounce of effort and hope I've put into the audition, it's worth it. I'm officially being cast as Brenda in The Scorch Trials; and I'll be playing alongside my friend, Dylan O'Brien. Earlier today, Carrano have officially granted my hiatus to focus on my acting career.

Which means, in exchange, I'll have to leave my other group of friends behind. Though sadden at the thought of it now, I take Colby's hand gently.

"Hey, I'll still be around." I reassured him. "I'll drop by whenever, just to see you. I promise."

Tonight was meant to celebrate my official inclusion as part of the movie; not to weep for my absence soon after. I choose to be with Colby because as soon as I heard the news, the only person I wanted to tell is him. Not Bryan, or the twins, or Vic.

"Okay." Colby whispered back. "Just know, I'm very proud of you."

The moment he said it, Colby's give my hand a squeeze and his clutch remains. We smile to each other; unknowing of what the distance will do to us this time. We've gotten used to separation that, we fail to realize that the universe might have other things planned for us – individually.

* * *

 **P.S. I'm moving on to write events that's taking place in 2016 now... I know, I'm a lot slower than I wish to be but don't worry! Because things will be more interesting in 2016 between these two, I promise!**


	17. Let It Happen

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for** **a typic** **al l** **ate upd** **ate :")**

 **This chapter's inspired by T** **ame Imp** **al** **a** **'s Let it H** **appen** **.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _30_ _th_ _October 2014, Thursday – Albuquerque, New Mexico_

It's the first week of filming and I'm a hell lot more tired than I ever was when filming Teen Wolf. While I'm drained of performing my own stunts for the TV show, I'm weary of waiting around on set of the movie. Since we're on a specific location instead of a studio, I don't have the luxury of returning to my own trailer to linger.

Instead, I remain on set to watch others like Kaya, Ki Hong and Dexter complete their scene – excluding me and Dylan. Since most of my scene is either with Giancarlo or Dylan, I spent most of my time with them – mainly to rehearse our lines.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, waving to my laptop screen. "Morning, my darlings."

After a week, I finally manage to see my niece and nephew – on-screen. I miss them both so much and I only manage to see them at this timing.

"AUNT RIRI!"

Stefan is excited to see me while Raé is too engrossed with the food that Shaé is feeding her. I spend a couple of minutes, talking to Stefan before Reed takes him to school. After blowing him a kiss, the 6-year-old left merrily. With Raé in her arms, Shaé then appear on-screen.

"So… How's my baby sister?"

"Doing good here. I miss all of you, but I'm good."

To say that I miss everyone from my family to friends in WWE is an understatement. But I'm not shedding a tear, or feel a pang of regret choosing this. Instead, I'm counting my blessings since I arrived in Albuquerque.

The last time I checked, Nicole is getting her push to be the next Divas Champion after AJ. I'm glad to hear that she's finally being given what she rightfully deserves. In fact, I'm thrilled to see a reign that will surpass her previous reign which lasts for a week. Nicole earns it after working her butt off; for more years than I did.

"Are you sure?" She probed skeptically. "You don't cry yourself to sleep at night?"

"Yes, and no! Come on Shaé, I'm a big girl." Countering her joke, I chuckle softly. "At least, I get to see you now."

We chat for a while longer till I hear Kaya knocking on my door. Yelling for her to wait up, I say my goodbye to Shaé and my precious little angel. I manage to see Raé break into a slight smile before I log off Skype. Taking a second off the clock, I stare at my wallpaper.

A collage of my loved ones is what I need, and I have it right in front of my eyes.

I may travel around the world all the time, but I'll always have them right with me. Every single morning to smile to before I begin with my life. That's what I like about photographs, not only they capture a moment that's impossible to reproduce but they're also a reminder that I'll always have people that love me, no matter where I am.

* * *

 _22_ _nd_ _November 2014, Saturday – Albuquerque, New Mexico_

In between our tiresome schedule, I'm impressed by how the cast managed to discreetly plan this entire celebration. Kat didn't notice any bit of it, up till we sprayed silly strings on her and sang ' _happy birthday_ ' once she enters the room.

We might not have the time to decorate the room but Kat seemed pleasantly surprised and thankful that we almost gave her a heart attack and a cake of her favorite flavor for her 19th birthday. Thanks to Kaya for digging up the information, while I simply helped her to hid the tasteful dessert from everyone.

Giving up on staying strong for another day, I decide to have today as my cheat day. I savor the slice of chocolate fudge that Dexter insisted for me to have. Since then, I've been hanging around with different people as all of us gather in Dylan's room.

"Isn't it weird though, acting with him again?" Dexter questioned. "And kissing him…"

The rest make noises in response to that, as I bit on my bottom lip. It's to stifle the laugh towards the question that I've been avoiding most.

"I mean; he isn't that bad of a kisser after all."

I professed jokingly, before the guys tugged on Dylan's arm. Dylan and I have grown closer ever since I joined the movie. Despite having each other around most of the time, I could never get sick of him. He's always up for a good laugh and doesn't take things too seriously most of the time; which helps me – especially when I'm feeling edgy.

"Hey Ria," Dylan nudge me slightly, before whispering; "Guess who can't keep his eyes off you?"

Replying to Dylan's quiz, I let out a peal of laughter without thinking twice. I'm pretty sure he was doing so in response to my tease of him being a good kisser.

"I'm serious…" He shot me a stern look, then shifted his eyes to the corner of the room. "Take a look."

His lowered volume then convinces me of his seriousness. If this was a joke, Dylan would have announced it to the whole world – or room, to lower the exaggeration. Following the person Dylan have motioned for me to look at, I turn my head to the left.

My mouth parted slightly, shock to realize whom my eyes laid on.

"He's been looking a couple of times, by the way."

My head nodded vaguely as my mind fails to think of words to choke out. Dylan may be right, he isn't kidding. The moment when I turned, my eyes actually met his before I quickly turn away to face Dylan again.

It has been a while since I've caught anyone's interest or even have anyone caught _my_ interest… But Thomas seemed, alright – to me.

"Come on."

Before I could pull back, Dylan have already drag me to stand in front of the man himself. My throat runs dry, due to being caught off guard. I wasn't expecting to be stuck with him all alone, after Kaya pulled Dylan away. Then there I was, smiling awkwardly to the Brit.

"Hi…" I started off, bashfully.

Thomas in response, swapped laughing with amusement, with a kind smile. Explaining extensively how he won't bite at first sight, I then ease off conversing with him. The two of us grab a drink and spend some time, getting to know each other – which I find went well.

 _But I wouldn't know what he'd think of it anyway_ …

* * *

 _28_ _th_ _November 2014, Friday – Albuquerque, New Mexico_

Even when I'm reading my favorite book, I can't seem to get my mind off it. The teasing by Dylan; that have now become constant. Typically, I'd be fine with it – but it's different this time. His teasing involves Thomas as well, which I find nonsensical.

Just because Thomas and I have been talking frequently now, it doesn't mean anything. We're basically forming a friendship. Similar to how Dylan and I did while on Teen Wolf; yet he seemed to point out a distinct difference.

 _Thomas is into you._

Since the moment I heard it, I can't stop thinking about it.

Over and over again, I explained to Dylan that we're being friendly towards each other but he wouldn't budge. That's all he ever repeated to me; or at least hinted. It gets extremely frustrating when I don't have the last word.

Getting out of my bed, I make my way towards the door. It's 8pm, when we finally have an early night in. _Who could possibly be knocking at my door at this point of the night?_ If it's Dylan, I'm closing the door on him.

"Hi…"

* * *

I laugh again, at the reminder how an hour ago Thomas appeared at my door. He was just as shy as I was when Dylan brought me to talk to him the first time. It's crazy how I ended having dinner with him; even though he could have run away as soon as he found me with my mud mask on and in a fluffy, hooded onesie with printed donuts.

"I'm sorry…" Apologizing for my sudden burst of laughter, I then added; "You know, I could have given you a 2-minute head start to spare your time tonight."

"Well, I couldn't possibly run away that fast."

"Okay… How about 5 minutes?" I offered another choice. "Enough time to lock the door and hide under your bed."

Thomas shakes his head, a huge grin plastered on his face. He's seemingly having a hard time to answer my question, as I anticipate it. For the last hour, we have been chatting non-stop about food, production and now about what happened earlier.

 _Gosh, how fast does time flies…_

"To be honest, I would have just stay there to soak in how adorable you looked in that onesie."

My eyes widened to his answer, as I press my lips together. I can't believe how easily it is for him to say it out, without having to stop smiling. For once tonight, I'm just as speechless as Thomas was when I opened the door.

"Keep lying like that and I could put you in a nelson hold." I cautioned him, though with a lighter tone.

"A nelson hold? That sounds a tad aggressive."

"That's because I'm a wrestler…" Reluctantly, I then added; "In case you didn't know."

Thomas' jaw drops as if he'd learn that he just met an alien right now. After taking a sip of my smoothie, I then awkwardly wave my hand in front of his face to get his attention. He has been gawking at me for a while, I thought he'd never move again.

"You wrestle, for a living?" I nodded confidently, with a half-smile. "That explains how you're better, in running and the early mornings. Wow…"

"I take it, you're impressed and is totally cool to know that I'm a female wrestle then?"

"Trust me when I say that, I've never met a woman as charming and as tough as you are until now."

In that single moment, my light blue eyes met Thomas' dark brown ones. And now, I'm the one who can't take my eyes off him.

* * *

 _20_ _th_ _December 2014, Saturday – Albuquerque, New Mexico_

There I was, sitting at the corner of the room – chatting with Kaya. It has been a tiring day, filled with running mostly. And even for an athlete, I'm dying for a rest tonight. I don't even know how the rest of these guys still have the energy to play some Mario Kart.

If it wasn't for Dexter tugging me into his room, I wouldn't be here right now.

I'd be in the comfort of my own bed, dead asleep. Saying this at midnight, I get the relief of not sounding like an aged person – when I'm only 24.

"I gotta go wee, for a bit."

Kaya enlightened me, giving me a sheepish smile. The moment she left, my eyes land on Thomas. He's still trying to figure out how to win the game since last October, which I find endearing. Honestly, the pleasing sight of him makes me smile.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Dexter draw closer, before standing next to me.

"What do we have here?" Dylan chimed in. "Enjoying the view there?"

Dylan tag along, bonding with our co-star to make my life a living nightmare. This have been on-going for weeks now. Actually, these two have been at it since Kat's party.

"So, how's it going?" Dexter nudged me. "Anything to fill us in about you and Mr. Sangster?"

This is one of the common questions I've had to deal with; which not many know. I bet, Thomas doesn't have to bother with any of this either. _So why me?_ Doing little to play along with their teasing, I shake my head and get off the couch.

"I'm leaving, goodnight boys." After a goodbye wave, I turn my heels making my exit.

"Wait, we're just joking around." "Don't leave!"

Dexter shouted after Dylan, which made me stop once I reach the doorway.

"I'm really tired guys." I cried to them. "Zariah really needs her sleep; I'll see you tomorrow."

Whether or not they're convinced, I don't even care. I just want to get into my pajamas and jump in bed. It's too late to give a shit about anything anymore…

"Hey, Zariah!" _What now…_ I turn around, glumly. "Sorry, I,"

"No, I'm sorry! I thought it was someone else…"

Thomas look back at the empty hallway from when he just ran; most likely wondering who I was referring to. But not saying more, he then walks by my side to my room.

"You don't have to," He cuts me off, suddenly.

"It's alright, I want to."

I nod my head, pressing both lips together. It's late night and here he is, sending me back to my room which is only 4 doors away. Since the last time we went out, we have been closer. As in, talking on set with no one else – _and I was less awkward with him_.

Besides that, nothing else happened.

Which is also why I have been telling Dylan and Dexter nothing. Because truthfully, Thomas has yet to even speak of a second date or anything. Instead here we are, making conversation out of the constant loss he dealt with each night in Mario Kart.

"I still don't understand, do you just let others win intentionally?"

He shrugs his shoulders, sharing a laugh with me as well the next second. It's only then it dawns to me that, I like this. Every little conversation I have with Thomas is, joyful – though at times it can be meaningless. Instead of laughing at me, his laughs complement mine.

Now standing in front of my door, Thomas and I stand facing each other. Just us smiling to each other… As I'm awkwardly thinking what to say next.

"So, this is goodnight then."

"Yep." I simply answered, unable to peel my eyes off him… Him who is taking a second to lick his bottom lip. "Goodnight."

Thomas then heads back to his room, as I open the door to my room. With a hand still on the door handle, I remain frozen at the doorway. My heart racing before I turn back to watch Thomas' walking away.

"Hey Thomas!" He looks over his shoulder, confused. "Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sounds like a plan."

After giving me a wink, he then continues to make his way back – leaving me in flutters.


	18. Scar

**A/N: Hey guys! Another update and I swear, I'm super excited to release everything that's gonna happen in 2016 for Zariah. If only I wasn't so lazy to upload new chapters weekly :")**

 **This chapter's inspired by Foxes' Scar** **.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

 **I own no one else but Zariah and her family; not including Daniel Bryan.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _21_ _st_ _December 2014, Sunday –_ _Albuquerque, New Mexico_

I can't even remember the last time I feel this way. It was years ago, when I was different. Who I was before is nothing alike to who I've become. At 16, I was peppy. I didn't give a damn to what others said. In fact, I was much vocal than I am today.

That's how I even get to be in love; for the very first time.

It's harder now that I'm closed-off and preferred to remain under the radar. Unless it involved working a character, that's when I shine. But when I'm me, Zariah Carmine, I'm a total introvert.

"I hope you enjoy dinner." Thomas spoke, bringing me back to the present. "You've been quiet."

"No, I just, I mean, dinner was fine." I fumbled with my words. "I'm not good with talking. If that makes sense."

After sneaking glances of Thomas a couple of times, I focus on the path in front of us. Though it's dimly lit, there are still people around. Most of them seem to be oblivious of who we are; thankfully.

"That's cute." Thomas commented, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Any plans for Christmas?"

"Just celebrating with my family, nothing much."

Shrugging my shoulders, Thomas then lead us to a bench close by. We sit next to each other, with little space between us. Rubbing my hands to my thighs, I'm glad that I at least wore a long-sleeved satin romper. It's much cooler out here tonight, than it typically was.

"What about you?" I questioned back. "Heading back to UK after this?"

"Yeah. Can't wait to meet the family, after so long."

"I know how that feels."

For the sake of ending the silence, my response followed with a chuckle. The last time I went out with a man, I spend the rest of my time listening to him. Not once have he even bothered to ask or talk about me… _Is that just what men do during blind dating, or what?_

"Your work, being a wrestler, you travel a lot too. Don't you?"

"Yeah, lots of cities and, it's fun to explore different countries."

I couldn't say more… While I'm happy to visit other continents and wrestle around the world, it's depressing to know that I'm not good enough to be the face of the women's division and champion. It's been 3 months and I'm trying to move on.

But going back there earlier this month to accept the Slammy awards as Diva of the Year and Breakout Star of the Year, it reminds me how I'm not good enough for something I'm strongly passionate of.

"Zariah, you can talk to me about anything; whether or not it makes any sense." He started off, before shifting himself to face me. "And I think that it's cool that you're a wrestler slash actress, and I kinda like that you're different."

My eyes then break the eye contact we've had since he turns to me, peeking down at his hand touching mine. Trying to remain calm in the inside, I look back up to smile at him. There's nothing more to say than, _I'm so glad I'm not on another blind date_.

If not, I wouldn't have known how sweet of a person Thomas is.

* * *

 _24_ _th_ _December 2014, Wednesday – Phoenix, Arizona_

It's only the eve of Christmas, yet the mood is set in the house. Presents have been wrapped and safely secured in my closet; just in case Reed even tries to do a last-minute shopping. I don't know why but this man just can't settle on the present he bought for me. The moment he realized I've bought him a better present, Reed will go ahead to get me a perfect gift and much more expensive one – despite Shaé's advice.

Once I found out of his struggle 2 years back, I've learn to keep my gifts hidden until the next morning. I swear, this man can never believe how amazing of a brother in-law he is to me.

"Please tell me you didn't buy what Stefan have been begging me to buy…"

"Relax Shaé, it's not a game console." I replied, taking a seat on the stool by the kitchen counter.

"Good, because the last thing I need is competition for my son's affection."

My only response this time was a soft laugh. Stefan and I may have developed a close relationship since he was younger but it's only because I pamper the child. I'd play wrestle with him, and even entertain him giving me a makeover with his pens and markers. I was even the one who bought him his first game console last year, a PS3 which might have seed a little jealousy in Shaé.

"You're his mum, okay. You literally gave him life; I can never beat that big sister."

As Shaé was saying something, I check my phone for the new text message. The moment I saw who it's from, the corner of my lips curl up into a smile.

"Please tell me it's a guy that's making you smile like that…"

Shaé stands in front of me, with her apron still on – even though she finished cooking 20 minutes ago. Locking my phone instantaneously, I then cover it with the palms of my hands.

"It's a friend, wishing me a Merry Christmas… No big deal."

"Uh huh, but you're still not answering my question."

 _Where do I even start with Thomas…_

I bit my bottom lip, just recalling of how charming of a person he is. But then, I did fall for someone else's charm before. _How can I make sure that it's enough to prevent me from going through hell again?_ The pain and ache of heartbreak.

"Yes, it is." I finally owned up. "We went out a few times, that's it."

"Do you like him?"

 _That's the question now, isn't it?_ But honestly, I don't know. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to trust him completely and do it all over again. I guess, only time will tell what can ever happen to us.

* * *

 _25_ _th_ _January 2015, Sunday –_ _Albuquerque, New Mexico_

In a matter of days, this will all be over.

No more cold weather of Albuquerque. No giving wake up calls to irritate everyone else each morning. No gathering or playing Mario Kart or even arm wrestling with the rest of the guys.

 _This is it_ , the last party that will ever be thrown in Dylan and Dexter's room.

After wrapping up with filming I was assigned to collect the cake from the lobby; since I'm the one who cleans up the fastest. With that, I excitedly went down to bring the cake up only to see Thomas walking back to me with it. He looked up, feigning shock when I'm the one who should be surprised to catch him red-handed.

Following the encounter at the lobby, Thomas and I haven't talk much.

"You know; I'm going to miss you most Ria." Dylan admitted aloud, with a hand around my shoulder.

"I'll miss you too buddy." I lean my head to his shoulder, as we sit on the couch. "I'll miss all of you, actually."

I added, to turn the rest of the cast's frowns upside down. My eyes then meet Thomas' as he chugs on a bottle of water, before flashing me a small smile.

You'd think after hanging out twice, I'd be less awkward with the guy. _But no_ … Even the chat we had in the elevator was minimal while it's mostly me yakking aimlessly. I was overwhelmed by the thought of what's next for us.

"I'm sure you'll miss someone more than others."

Dexter continued, making me choke on my drink. With Dylan now rubbing my back repeatedly, I try my best to recover quickly from the embarrassment. Everyone's eyes are on me, they're all checking on me which led me to excuse myself.

Closing the door to the bathroom, I give my face a splash of cold water. He hasn't say a word to me since we arrived at the party. Maybe I'm the only one beating my brains out about it. While he's chilling… and wouldn't care for the fact that,

"Zariah stop." I uttered under my breath. "You won't see him again; you don't have to see him again."

It's going to take a lot longer than a minute of self-pep talk to convince myself. Sighing heavily, I take another second staring at my reflection before opening the door. Just when I make my turn to move towards Kaya, Thomas appear to stand in my way.

"Hey." He started, while I'm stuck to the ground – figuring words to say.

"Hi."

That's the best I could do, for now.

"I figured, we need to talk." Thomas mentioned the elephant in the room. "I just want to check if, you're fine with us still being friends?"

If I didn't know any better, I think, Thomas might be just as conflicted as I am. I could hear it in his voice, the cracks and how hard it seemed for him to form a coherent sentence. Props on him though, he managed to get it out. While I'm right here, still thinking.

"Yeah." I hastily blurted out. "I mean, of course. We can be friends."

A huge grin on my face then give Thomas a relief. He nodded, with a smile on his face as well. I'm not too sure if he expects me to say anything else but _that_. My only regret is that I didn't get to know him longer than the 3 months we spent filming.

"We can meet whenever, just hit me up." I can't believe that I just said that; _hit me up?!_

Thomas chuckles, finding my choice of words amusing. As for me, I'm mentally giving myself a roundhouse kick to the head.

"Yeah, anytime I'm free from work. I definitely will."

Before I can embarrass myself anymore, he moves forward to give me a hug. It takes me a split second before I reacted, placing my hands at his back – reciprocating to the embrace. At least I can tell everyone about a story about how I dodge the bullet this time; with such a thoughtful and kind person.

* * *

 _02_ _nd_ _February 2015, Monday – Phoenix, Arizona_

It's only been 5 days since I return from filming The Scorch Trials, and I'm taking a day off with my sister. We went for brunch and now, I'm getting a haircut while she's getting hair treatments. It's nothing drastic, just a simple and short trim of my dark brown locks.

I feel like this is the only time I get to relax, before I continue filming for Teen Wolf season 5A.

"So…" Shaé began. "Aren't you going to tell me anything?"

"I thought I already did?" I answered her with uncertainty. "I'm flying back on Saturday evening."

"I mean, about the guy, silly… Surely you have something to tell me."

 _Thomas, of course_ … The only time I've mentioned about him to Shaé was last Christmas. Just a couple of days ago, I had to deal with the same question with Dylan. I know that I wasn't lying but, it didn't feel right – telling him the truth.

"We talked about it, and we're just friends." I muttered, noticing the hairstylist drawing nearer. "That's it."

Honestly, I don't know what else to say. Sometimes my mind recalls back the conversation we had. At that moment, it seemed like the decision was mutual for us to stay friends. But as days goes by, I find myself pining to see him again – _or even continue texting him_.

"Honey, there'll always be someone else." Shaé assured, taking hold of my hand. "Trust me, I'd never thought Reed would be the man that I'd be married to today… If I hadn't been patient."

"Are you serious? Reed is the one for you, from the start. How could you not see that?"

"Let's just say, I might have friend-zoned him then… But my point is, Ria don't rush to get into relationships. It'll happen, when it's meant to happen."

And that's when it strikes, the thought of _him_. It has been years but the heartache I have to bear; I still remember how awful it feels. As if it was only yesterday that he made me walk away… And caused a wound to my heart.

I thought it'd be gone after 6 years; but I guess, the wound is now a scar that marks for the rest of my life.

"Yeah, I guess, I guess so." I stuttered, before flipping the magazine resting on my lap.

"Honey, forget about him." My heart skips a beat, _Shaé knows_. "It's not meant to be."

I bit my lip; at the thought of _him_ who didn't love me. _Maybe he did_ , but just not enough. Instead, he becomes a story that I'd never tell of a time I loved the wrong man.

And now, I don't know what to do myself.


End file.
